June 28, 201412 yr Depends on the situation. I'm not sure what we're talking about here, but I get your general meaning.
June 28, 201412 yr Is there anything more difficult? Depends on the family and how many times they've burned the bridge.
June 28, 201412 yr Author Depends on the situation. I'm not sure what we're talking about here, but I get your general meaning. Specifically, my sister has made poor decision after poor decision in her life and I've constantly bailed her out financially. But I'm tired of enabling her and I've had to cut the cord. Not easy, but I'm doing it.
June 28, 201412 yr Specifically, my sister has made poor decision after poor decision in her life and I've constantly bailed her out financially. But I'm tired of enabling her and I've had to cut the cord. Not easy, but I'm doing it. Try saying no to your mom. I had to do that recently. I feel your pain. It's hard, hard, hard and often puts you on the outs with other family members.
June 28, 201412 yr Author Try saying no to your mom. I had to do that recently. I feel your pain. It's hard, hard, hard and often puts you on the outs with other family members. I had to do that this week as well when she requested a cosign. I wanted to more than anything, but it's not something I could get comfortable with. It's all weighing on me.
June 28, 201412 yr I had to do that this week as well when she requested a cosign. I wanted to more than anything, but it's not something I could get comfortable with. It's all weighing on me. I had to tell my mom that some of the repairs needed for her home were beyond my capacity for a few years. I told her she's sitting on 83 acres of land that only 1 acre is actually used, and that she COULD pay for repairs herself by selling even a few acres or leasing some for an income. I felt horrible.
June 28, 201412 yr I had to do that this week as well when she requested a cosign. I wanted to more than anything, but it's not something I could get comfortable with. It's all weighing on me. I feel for you. If they ask you for something that you are not comfortable doing, then you say no. It's one thing to help out and be generous and give when you can. It's totally another thing when the inner alarm inside of you is ringing loud and clear that you should not do it---regardless if the reason is that you don't have the means or that you don't want to enable them.
June 28, 201412 yr I had to do that this week as well when she requested a cosign. I wanted to more than anything, but it's not something I could get comfortable with. It's all weighing on me. I understand the weight you're feeling, but you did the right thing by not cosigning IMO.
June 28, 201412 yr Specifically, my sister has made poor decision after poor decision in her life and I've constantly bailed her out financially. But I'm tired of enabling her and I've had to cut the cord. Not easy, but I'm doing it. You have to cut that cord or it will never stop! I've seen it before. Time for some tough love!
June 28, 201412 yr It's the hardest thing to do in most cases because they know best which buttons to push to make you feel guilty for not helping them. But telling them no, is sometimes the most "Love" you can show them.
June 28, 201412 yr Specifically, my sister has made poor decision after poor decision in her life and I've constantly bailed her out financially. But I'm tired of enabling her and I've had to cut the cord. Not easy, but I'm doing it.I feel for you, I really do. Have had more than my share of family problems, now they don't speak to me because I got tired of the drama. Believe me when I tell you, enabling is all you really do when you give in, you made the right, albeit, tough decision.
July 3, 201412 yr You have to cut that cord or it will never stop! I've seen it before. Time for some tough love! Agree! They will keep going to the well until it (you) run dry.
July 3, 201412 yr "So you're sure I'll get my $500 back by Friday at the latest..." That was 5 years ago when I was working my way through Undergrad, and already pretty broke. I felt terrible, because I didn't realize that it was going right towards drugs.
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