Why do you Coach?

[Kentucky Windage]

I want this to be an open forum for all coaches with sons or daughters. At the end of the day I coach my son's teams to win. It's the competitor in me that drives me. But the current root of my question here revolves around my son. 

The rules at his current school do not allow for cuts or tryouts. Every kid makes the team. It's at the point where they have had multiple teams in this sport for several years already. I want my child to win and succeed. 

I've formed multiple other teams that he's played on outside of school competition. My interest revolves around coaching these teams. 

His school team allows everyone to make the teams. I coach one of these teams. They are not competitive because everyone gets a position on the team. 

I'm thinking of pulling my child off of school team sports because he's just better (5th/6th grade basketball and baseball). It would free up time for me to help him individually. Is my thought process wrong? I'd still like for him to be involved but I want to be able for him to evolve to another level. 

Searching for advice. 

[rjs4470]

I look at school based sports at that level as developmental. I have no issues with giving all kids at that age a chance to play, develop and learn. They have the rest of their lives to be super competitive, and you never know who out of that group will develop into really good players. There’s just as many lessons to be learned by playing on bad teams as there are playing on good teams. And there’s plenty of value in playing with your school buddies. And there are plenty of opportunities for your kid to “evolve to the next level” outside of school ball. It kills me that youth sports are so much less inclusive and are so much more about winning than they used to be. 

[Kentucky Windage]

4 hours ago, rjs4470 said:

I look at school based sports at that level as developmental. I have no issues with giving all kids at that age a chance to play, develop and learn. They have the rest of their lives to be super competitive, and you never know who out of that group will develop into really good players. There’s just as many lessons to be learned by playing on bad teams as there are playing on good teams. And there’s plenty of value in playing with your school buddies. And there are plenty of opportunities for your kid to “evolve to the next level” outside of school ball. It kills me that youth sports are so much less inclusive and are so much more about winning than they used to be. 

But that's just it. It's way more inclusive and a lot less about winning. There are no cuts (we had cuts in 3rd grade back in the day). Every kid gets placed on a new team every year (there is no pressure to get better). So every year you have to hit the reset button with a whole new team. There is no incentive to develop players if they're just going to be taken from you the next year. 

[rjs4470]

2 hours ago, Kentucky Windage said:

But that's just it. It's way more inclusive and a lot less about winning. There are no cuts (we had cuts in 3rd grade back in the day). Every kid gets placed on a new team every year (there is no pressure to get better). So every year you have to hit the reset button with a whole new team. There is no incentive to develop players if they're just going to be taken from you the next year. 

I understand what you’re saying. Winning is important. Improving is important. But so is developing, participating and having fun. It’s going to get plenty competitive in a few years. And once kids are done with HS, over 95% of them will be done with sports. Why chase them out when they are 10/11 years old? Many kids will never have the opportunity to play sports outside of these elementary leagues due to circumstances beyond their control. Let them play. And let your son have the experience of playing with them. Again, if you need a higher level of competition, there are plenty of places outside of elementary school for him to get that. 
 

As far as coaching, the incentive for me is to help a kid out, and maybe make a difference in his life. Winning championships is great. Touching lives is way better.

[nees1212]

1 hour ago, Kentucky Windage said:

But that's just it. It's way more inclusive and a lot less about winning. There are no cuts (we had cuts in 3rd grade back in the day). Every kid gets placed on a new team every year (there is no pressure to get better). So every year you have to hit the reset button with a whole new team. There is no incentive to develop players if they're just going to be taken from you the next year. 

Sounds like you're looking at it as the only incentive is being able to win a game.  

I've coached multiple teams for 2 years old up to the freshman level.  I've coached baseball, softball, soccer, basketball, and football.  My #1 goal in every sport and every level is player development, not winning.  If you're coaching to develop kids, the winning will come. If you're #1 goal is winning, you end up concentrating on your top talent and not the entire team.  

My incentive for coaching and developing players is to see them grow into better players and people.  If they move on the next year, then that means I've just got another team to root for and a new player I can impact.  At the end of a season, I could really care less about records at the elementary and even middle school ages.  If every player got better from the beginning of the season to the end of the season, and if every kid continues to play the following year, that's a win in my book.  

 

[rjs4470]

2 minutes ago, nees1212 said:

Sounds like you're looking at it as the only incentive is being able to win a game.  

I've coached multiple teams for 2 years old up to the freshman level.  I've coached baseball, softball, soccer, basketball, and football.  My #1 goal in every sport and every level is player development, not winning.  If you're coaching to develop kids, the winning will come. If you're #1 goal is winning, you end up concentrating on your top talent and not the entire team.  

My incentive for coaching and developing players is to see them grow into better players and people.  If they move on the next year, then that means I've just got another team to root for and a new player I can impact.  At the end of a season, I could really care less about records at the elementary and even middle school ages.  If every player got better from the beginning of the season to the end of the season, and if every kid continues to play the following year, that's a win in my book.  

 

Yep. There are far too many coaches that are in it for just their kid and only care about winning. That’s the wrong approach at the youth level.

[Brown]

9 hours ago, Kentucky Windage said:

I want this to be an open forum for all coaches with sons or daughters. At the end of the day I coach my son's teams to win. It's the competitor in me that drives me. But the current root of my question here revolves around my son. 

 

The rules at his current school do not allow for cuts or tryouts. Every kid makes the team. It's at the point where they have had multiple teams in this sport for several years already. I want my child to win and succeed. 

 

I've formed multiple other teams that he's played on outside of school competition. My interest revolves around coaching these teams. 

 

His school team allows everyone to make the teams. I coach one of these teams. They are not competitive because everyone gets a position on the team. 

 

I'm thinking of pulling my child off of school team sports because he's just better (5th/6th grade basketball and baseball). It would free up time for me to help him individually. Is my thought process wrong? I'd still like for him to be involved but I want to be able for him to evolve to another level. 

 

Searching for advice. 

Don't pull him off- I think you'll regret it and this needs to be about what he wants.  He's young let him enjoy just playing a sport.  You can still get him extra time with you or another on anything he plays.  I had one son who would do anything I asked when I coached him and another that responded to other coaches, but  never me.  Enjoy this time and don't stress!

[859sports]

I've coached baseball and football for the past 14 years. No one likes losing, and competing and winning is important for several reasons. Biggest reasons, it keeps kids excited about the game and drives ambition to be better, as well as bringing in other kids who want to be a part of it. However, when dealing with school teams you most often are restricted to kids who dwell within the school district, and find that you will have several kids who will never likely get playing time once in HS. Now here I have witnesses 3 different types of kids. A) the kid who just hasn't developed into their bodies, or an understanding of the actual game, and thru development and time, often become very good players who end up contributing. B) the kids who just want to be part of the team, wear the Jersey and feel included. They often know their own limitations, and that they will never play, but being a part of the team means they have friends and when they do get a chance to be involved, are the most celebrated by team when make even the simplest of plays. C) the kid who tries his/her best, but just doesn't have the talent. These kids always listen and do what they are coached to do and give great efforts. Now done will develop in A, even those who don't are invaluable to any team as they are the "practice" squad and help to prepare the team for actual competition. At a young age I have seen kids who you thought might be something special turn out to be anything but, and kids who you thought were ABC, turn out to be starters and major contributors who go on to next level and continue playing. My best advice is to keep your son on school teams, because the bonds built will pay off. You can still work with him off season, or seek select teams to improve his/her skills, but at that young of an age you never know how any kid will end up turning out. 

[Tigerpride94]

I coach sprinters on track team and track has no cuts so have around 50 kids out. Many over 4 years will not participate in a varsity meet. Some of the younger slower kids will develop as get older and may contribute at the varsity level. Kids develop at different rates. If we did cuts could spend more time with varsity kids. After the last JV meet will have varsity kids only for a couple weeks before Region and State meet. I'm fine with no cuts though. I get satisfaction out of seeing the slowest kids get faster as I do the varsity kids. They are so happy when they get a PR even if slower sprinters. I Coach them to be the best they can be and if I do that the winning is a result of that. I think to coach you also have to love the sport since low to nothing pay and a lot of hours put in.

 

[KY Outsider]

I personally got into coaching to just be involved and loved the development of kids primarily in elementary school. Were all the kids stellar athletes, of course not but they all seem to have the desire to learn so as a coach you need to teach them. 

[REALSPORT]

6 hours ago, Kentucky Windage said:

But that's just it. It's way more inclusive and a lot less about winning. There are no cuts (we had cuts in 3rd grade back in the day). Every kid gets placed on a new team every year (there is no pressure to get better). So every year you have to hit the reset button with a whole new team. There is no incentive to develop players if they're just going to be taken from you the next year. 

I've run leagues and have dealt with every type of coach imaginable.  At the level you are coaching it should be mostly about improvement with winning secondary.  If that's not your thing then by all means move on to coach AAU or some other type of league.  I've seen far too many coaches think the scholarship offer for their kid is coming in the 6th grade.  If your son is having fun on the school team then let him continue.  The decision needs to be about him.  

[Purple88]

I have been involved with coaching my daughters as they have grown up from 2nd grade soccer and fencing to now Varsity archery and Freshman lacrosse.  But after I got involved with the kids early on, I soon found out it was a blessing to have the time to be able to support their interests in this i-Phone world.  Alot of the times now, these sporting groups are the only time besides school they spend away from looking at their phones.  That impact is a big deal in my book.

Yes, I focus on my daughters sports path but don't want my voice to be the only one she hears, as it takes a village IMO for the development of any kid in any sport.  I have also found you never know when something will sink in for the development of a kid whether your winning or losing.  So to remove your son or daughter because they aren't winning, while I understand taking a beating isn't fun, is likely removing them from opportunities to learn and implement sporting strategies/development and moreso learning about dealing with people, which in the long run will be much more beneficial.

As others have said, there are other groups to help your son get better and I would support that in addition to his school teams.  Typically at the end of my lacrosse season, our coaches receive hand written letters from our players as a token of their thanks for our time together.  These are directly from the girls (in this case) and that is really why I'm coaching.  I would coach my daughter regardless.  We go on club lacrosse and archery trips, but those letters from the other girls at the end of the year means alot and goes to show the impact you have goes beyond what you see, as many of these girls or in your case boys may come from less advantaged  home situations.

 

 

[wrn1979]

If you’re focused on winning at any level below varsity, you’ve got your priorities wayyyyy out of whack.

No one cares about the win-loss record of a kid’s 5th grade team. Like him or not, Julian Tackett himself makes a powerful statement in the KHSAA sports safety clinic: JV games and below are nothing more than glorified scrimmages. 
 

The 5th grade kid who shows worlds’ of promise may peak in 7th grade and be done.

I was a 6-foot, 230 pound, athletic 8th grader who loved basketball. I never grew another inch. Do you know how much varsity playing time a 6-foot, 230 pound varsity basketball player gets on a team with five starters 6-4 and above? Virtually none.

Likewise, some of those same kids couldn’t stop me from scoring in middle school, but hit their growth spurts late.

Every coach who has his priorities in order will teach character first. The varsity head coach is the only one with any skin in the win-loss record.

[theguru]

1 minute ago, wrn1979 said:

If you’re focused on winning at any level below varsity, you’ve got your priorities wayyyyy out of whack.

No one cares about the win-loss record of a kid’s 5th grade team. Like him or not, Julian Tackett himself makes a powerful statement in the KHSAA sports safety clinic: JV games and below are nothing more than glorified scrimmages. 
 

The 5th grade kid who shows worlds’ of promise may peak in 7th grade and be done.

I was a 6-foot, 230 pound, athletic 8th grader who loved basketball. I never grew another inch. Do you know how much varsity playing time a 6-foot, 230 pound varsity basketball player gets on a team with five starters 6-4 and above? Virtually none.

Likewise, some of those same kids couldn’t stop me from scoring in middle school, but hit their growth spurts late.

Every coach who has his priorities in order will teach character first. The varsity head coach is the only one with any skin in the win-loss record.

I disagree in part.  I want to win all of my freshman games and ideally all of my JV games but I understand JV comes in a lot of flavors. 

[wrn1979]

9 minutes ago, theguru said:

I disagree in part.  I want to win all of my freshman games and ideally all of my JV games but I understand JV comes in a lot of flavors. 

Wanting to win, and making it your primary focus are two different things. There’s also a big difference in the emphasis from an administrative point of view (at least there should be). 
 

If frosh or JV go winless, but the varsity team is 9-1 with a run into the playoffs, admin might ask the head coach some questions. There’s little chance anyone’s heads will roll. Especially if the head coach sees the big picture and players were developed. If varsity goes winless, and JV finishes undefeated, especially if there’s a pattern of such, the whole staff might be out of a job.