December 12, 201510 yr The Princess Di joke reminds me. When Mother Teresa died, St. Peter told her that she had led such an exemplary life that she would be getting a halo. True to form, she said she didn't want one. When St. Peter said that it was mandatory, she insisted on a small, plain one. When she ran into Princess Di a few days later, she noticed that the princess also had a halo, and that it was HUGE. She went back to St. Peter and said, "I know I wanted a little halo and I'm not really complaining, but I just met Princess Di and she had a gigantic halo. What's the deal?" "That's not a halo. That's a steering wheel."
December 12, 201510 yr So a little boy and a man are walking into the woods. The little boy says, "Hey Mister its really dark and we've walked a long way and I'm getting scared." The man says, "You getting scared! What about me? I'm going to have to walk out of these woods by myself!!"
December 13, 201510 yr My girlfriend told me the other day that she was beginning to think I was a pedophile. I said "that's a pretty big word for a 7 year old.
December 13, 201510 yr What's the difference between Adolph Hitler and Usain Bolt? Bolt can finish a race.
December 13, 201510 yr Did you hear Princess Diana was on the radio? and on the windshield, the gear shift, the back seat...
December 13, 201510 yr Donald Trump's ego is so big that he videos himself masturbating then masturbates to that video.
December 16, 201510 yr ^ You're an animal. I have a black heart, true, but it has some tasteful gold trim inlaid with it.
December 17, 201510 yr I have a black heart, true, but it has some tasteful gold trim inlaid with it. Where normal people have a heart, Jim Schue has a bottomless black hole.
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