bugatti Posted December 9, 2015 Share Posted December 9, 2015 What's 18 inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? Crib death. You asked. I think you win. Anyone else a fan of Anthony Jeselnik? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bugatti Posted December 9, 2015 Share Posted December 9, 2015 So awful. This reminds me of being 13 and reading the Truly Tasteless Jokes book. Yes! I had two versions of this book around the same age. Explains a lot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UKMustangFan Posted December 9, 2015 Share Posted December 9, 2015 Here's one I heard.... How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcpapa Posted December 9, 2015 Share Posted December 9, 2015 I think you win. Anyone else a fan of Anthony Jeselnik? Is he kind of an oddball that I've seen once or twice on the Comedy Central roasts? If so, yes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcpapa Posted December 9, 2015 Share Posted December 9, 2015 A young girl and her father are out for a ride. They get into a horrible crash, both are taken to the hospital. The mother is called and rushes to be by their sides. The girl has an injury to her eyes, and is blinded. The father is critically injured and about to die. The girl is brought into the room to say her last goodbyes. She is tearful and distraught, but her father, with his dying words, makes her promise that she will be "strong for mommy." The father dies. (Hey, you said dark humor) Time passes, the girl is depressed from her father's death and her loss of sight. One day, the mother comes home and says "good news! the doctor gave me a spray for your eyes and we spray it in for thirty days and then you can see" The girl is super happy. Mommy sprays it in and then wraps gauze around her head. The girl cries. "it hurts mommy. it hurts so bad mommy." Mommy reminds the girl of the promise she made to her father. Every day, for thirty days, the same thing. The pain is maddening, and unending. But the girl endures. On day thirty she comes stumbling down the stairs. "today is the day mommy! today is the day!" They take off the gauze. The girl squints, opens her eyes, looks around. "But mommy, I still can't see!" "I know dear, April's fools." That reminds me of an oldie but a goodie. Q: Why is Helen Keller such a poor driver? A: She's a woman. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wireman Posted December 9, 2015 Share Posted December 9, 2015 I think you win. Anyone else a fan of Anthony Jeselnik? I love Anthony Jeselnik Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wireman Posted December 9, 2015 Share Posted December 9, 2015 This thread is so dark that I had to turn up the brightness on my screen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bugatti Posted December 9, 2015 Share Posted December 9, 2015 Is he kind of an oddball that I've seen once or twice on the Comedy Central roasts? If so, yes. That is him. He also hosted Last Comic Standing this past season and has a new Netflix special. I saw him in New Orleans a few years ago. They issued keys for the gates to hell as I left. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HammerTime Posted December 9, 2015 Share Posted December 9, 2015 That is him. He also hosted Last Comic Standing this past season and has a new Netflix special. I saw him in New Orleans a few years ago. They issued keys for the gates to hell as I left. He's decent most of the time, but I can only take so much of him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wireman Posted December 9, 2015 Share Posted December 9, 2015 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Getslow Posted December 9, 2015 Share Posted December 9, 2015 Falling Dream Perry Bible Fellowship is a nice collection of sometimes funny, sometimes tasteless, always a bit off center comics. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcpapa Posted December 9, 2015 Share Posted December 9, 2015 My girlfriend called me to say that she is HIV-positive. As always, the trick is to act surprised. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Run To State Posted December 9, 2015 Share Posted December 9, 2015 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
titletownclown Posted December 10, 2015 Author Share Posted December 10, 2015 Heard on bob and tom: An old guy goes to the doctor. The doctor says, "I have bad news. You have cancer and Alzheimer's". The old guy says, " At least I don't have cancer". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim Schue Posted December 10, 2015 Share Posted December 10, 2015 What's hot, black and slimy? Milk Duds in a microwave. And you thought it was gonna be racist … Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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