December 9, 201510 yr A young girl and her father are out for a ride. They get into a horrible crash, both are taken to the hospital. The mother is called and rushes to be by their sides. The girl has an injury to her eyes, and is blinded. The father is critically injured and about to die. The girl is brought into the room to say her last goodbyes. She is tearful and distraught, but her father, with his dying words, makes her promise that she will be "strong for mommy." The father dies. (Hey, you said dark humor) Time passes, the girl is depressed from her father's death and her loss of sight. One day, the mother comes home and says "good news! the doctor gave me a spray for your eyes and we spray it in for thirty days and then you can see" The girl is super happy. Mommy sprays it in and then wraps gauze around her head. The girl cries. "it hurts mommy. it hurts so bad mommy." Mommy reminds the girl of the promise she made to her father. Every day, for thirty days, the same thing. The pain is maddening, and unending. But the girl endures. On day thirty she comes stumbling down the stairs. "today is the day mommy! today is the day!" They take off the gauze. The girl squints, opens her eyes, looks around. "But mommy, I still can't see!" "I know dear, April's fools."
December 9, 201510 yr Author What's 18 inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? Crib death. You asked. That IS dark and quite awesome.
December 9, 201510 yr So awful. This reminds me of being 13 and reading the Truly Tasteless Jokes book.
December 9, 201510 yr What did Little Miss Muffet and Saddam Hussein have in common? . . . . . . . . . . . . . They both had Kurds in their whey!
December 9, 201510 yr Author From the brilliant mind of Mitch Hedberg: I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to too. When I was a boy, I laid in my twin size bed and wondered where my brother was.
December 9, 201510 yr A teacher, a lawyer, a priest and three kids are on a plane. The engines go out. There are only three chutes. Teacher: "Save the children!" Lawyer: "Screw the children!" Priest: "Is there time?"
December 9, 201510 yr What does a 16 year old girl from KY say after she has sex? "Get off me dad, you're crushing my cigarettes."
December 9, 201510 yr Why do people boil water when a baby is born? In case it's born dead they can make soup.
December 9, 201510 yr Author Soccer Sniper https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WfmrsMwpTMA&feature=youtu.be Edited December 11, 201510 yr by Jumper_Dad embedded
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