Question on how to handle a coach situation

Ok, I have been told of a situation and was asked my advice but was unable to give anything solid so I thought I might come here and ask:

(No specifics but well....) - there is a boy on a baseball team who now has a new coach. He has been one of the starters for several years and is in the top group of players as far as batting, fielding and base running. The team started this year with a new head coach and problems have started.

1. The boy is singled out at every practice and yelled at even when what he did was correct. Other boys make errors and are not barked at, but this particular boy gets dressed down by the head coach every time.

2. When batting in the cage, the boy is ignored by the coach. When the boy asked the coach for help with his batting the coach says that he isn't going to change anything now...the boy is simply the weakest batter on the team (even though he had the top batting average the year prior).

3. The boy has been told by the coach that he is only on the team because he was on the team prior years and would be cut otherwise.

4. The coach has been vocal about promoting other boys who are not as talented (but have parents in his ear) but appears to be intentionally doing all he can to make this other boy quit.

5. If parents go to the coach about situations (like this) the boys are penalized with extra running during practice.

- Some of the situations I have been told have been borderline Bullying and Harassment towards this boy.

Because of the situation, if the boy quits he is done with the sport for good. This was the year the team had high aspirations and he wants to be part of it but appears to be miserable at this time.

Anyone have any advice I can offer to him and his family?

Don't quit. Have the player ask for a one-on-one meeting with the coach. Next move depends on what happens in the meeting or if the coach does not meet.

No meeting, you contact the athletic director and say you would like to have a meeting with him and the coach because the coach refuses to meet with the player one on one.

Hopefully there is a meeting. The coach points out what he thinks are the player's shortcomings and the player gets a chance to point out stats from previous years and how well he has played previously as a counter argument. After that meeting, next steps depend on what happens in the meeting.

If, everything you've been told is 100% accurate, I'm not really sure what he can do. Maybe go to the coach privately and see if the coach will talk to him about it. If the coach won't the coach has no business working with kids.

Is there an assistant coach the kid can talk to?

That said I would be interested in who your source is for the story? If it's the kid or the kids parent, I'm guess the truth is somewhat different.

Ok, I have been told of a situation and was asked my advice but was unable to give anything solid so I thought I might come here and ask:

 

(No specifics but well....) - there is a boy on a baseball team who now has a new coach. He has been one of the starters for several years and is in the top group of players as far as batting, fielding and base running. The team started this year with a new head coach and problems have started.

 

If the above is true, starter for several years, one of the top players, something just isn't adding up. Could there be more to the situation that is not coming out? Could be an attitude issue or behavior that player got away with previously that is not being tolerated by new coach?

The story does come from the parents and the boy. I agree it may be described as more extreme than it is, however I have talked with other boys on the team and they all said coach seem to "hate" the boy. Something is definitely going on if that is the impression they have of this.

I believe the parents are pushing for the boy to talk to one of the assistant coaches for advice on the situation, so we will see where that goes.

I do believe the players have met individually with the coach, but I doubt the boy pointed out his strengths from previous seasons. From what I was told the meetings were just the coach talking and the boys keeping quiet.

Thanks for the advice. Anyone else with thoughts?

What age group are we talking about? Are there many new players on the team?

I know we don't want too many specifics but these aspects would be important in making an assessment.

 

 

If the above is true, starter for several years, one of the top players, something just isn't adding up. Could there be more to the situation that is not coming out? Could be an attitude issue or behavior that player got away with previously that is not being tolerated by new coach?

It not adding up is why I decided to post this here. The boy can have a bit of a temper but instead of being defiant he says he has focused on showing his talent.

Again, from the boy - but he says he is showing he is first in everything from running to fielding and everything in between when possible. He often will beat the other players by a large margin running, and still would be yelled at for not running hard enough.

Their time on the field has been limited, he does what he can there but often is left out of opportunities (example he gave was being put in right field and not having a single ball hit to him during team fielding).

High School Age

From what they said, my first thought was that the coach was simply trying to have him quit so he could play younger players (looking to the future). But if that is the case why do all the derogatory comments, etc? There is no roster limit so the coach could simply keep him on the bench the year and play who he wants.

It is unfortunate as this boy does have talent and is better than many of the "starters" there - based on my observations from last year and fall leagues. From what I saw he is a solid contact hitter with rare speed and was solid in the outfield.

That is why this is confusing to me.

It not adding up is why I decided to post this here. The boy can have a bit of a temper but instead of being defiant he says he has focused on showing his talent.

 

Again, from the boy - but he says he is showing he is first in everything from running to fielding and everything in between when possible. He often will beat the other players by a large margin running, and still would be yelled at for not running hard enough.

 

Their time on the field has been limited, he does what he can there but often is left out of opportunities (example he gave was being put in right field and not having a single ball hit to him during team fielding).

Again, something is just not adding up. Short of watching practice and seeing something, I don't know what coach would not want a standout player on his team. Unless that player is causing dissension but according to your post that doesn't seem the case, aa told by the player.

I'm going to assume this is high school ball since practice has started. If it were my son, I'd tell him he needs to talk to the coach and find out what it is the coach thinks he should be doing more or working on. Show the coach you are one of the leaders. If that did not work and the new coach refused to give him feedback, I think secretly I would request a meeting with coach, without my son or anyone knowing, and ask him if my son was a problem or is just not "putting out" in practice (I'd want it straight, no PC fluff).

This sounds all too familiar and has become common place at a lot of schools.

Unless there's an attitude issue that sure seems counter productive to what a coach is trying to accomplish.

From your description it appears the coach doesn’t like the kid, for whatever reason. The other boys in the team saying he “hates” this young man is not good. Just from what you’ve relayed in your posts it seems like this guy shouldn’t be a head coach at any level. But there may be more to the story that’s not known.

I've been coaching youth sports for the last decade and - as has been said above - this scenario is becoming all too familiar. It's disgusting really.

My suggestion...get the boy out of there and onto another team. There are still teams out there he could get on. There's simply no reason to subject a child to the psychosis of a YOUTH coach. It's damaging...and while I understand the concern the boy might not want to play anywhere else...I'd take the chance simply bc you're probably headed that way anyway with enough abuse from the coach.

Kids are resilient. He'll be fine. Remove him. Find another team and keep your fingers crossed you find the right non-psychotic coach who will re-energize the boys love for baseball.

I'm so sick of hearing and seeing this. It's shocking how unbelievably cruel and dismissive some grown men - and women - can be towards children. My favorite excuses:

- it wasn't personal

- I'm trying to make him a better person

- this is the way I was taught get over it

- kids need to be tough

You can instill discipline, be firm and demanding..without being abusive. If you can't find the right side of that line and stay on it...you shouldn't be coaching.

Telling the kid he would be cut if he didn’t have prior service, this is 100% personal. No high school kid deserves this treatment, it’s not the Marine Corps.