Straight Men: Did You Choose To Be Straight?

[PP1]

I don't necessarily believe that people are born gay. But I question if things happen to them throughout their lives (often in early childhood) and they subconsciously make that decision. So in their mind, it wasn't a choice, but they weren't exactly "born gay".

 

I think this is probably the case 100% of the time.

[UKMustangFan]

I don't necessarily believe that people are born gay. But I question if things happen to them throughout their lives (often in early childhood) and they subconsciously make that decision. So in their mind, it wasn't a choice, but they weren't exactly "born gay".

 

I think this is probably the case 100% of the time.

 

There's no more evidence to support that then there is to support that you're born either gay or straight.

[UKMustangFan]

If people are not born gay, then everyone straight or gay made the choice of who they were attracted to. I didn't make that choice. My body did and it wasn't anything I could control.

 

Now if you want to argue that acting on your attractions is a choice, I 100% agree. We just disagree that it's wrong to do so if you're gay.

 

To me, it's no more of a sin for 2 gay people to sleep together than it is for a straight guy to sleep with a girl outside of marriage. :idunno:

[se7ens]

I think there are 2 big American societal problems that come into play here:

1) We run with things quickly and tend to not dwell on alternative lines of thinking. Why is it that we automatically think that not being able to choose whether you are heterosexual or homosexual equals being born that way or having a "gay gene." It could be we are born asexual and some sort of biological and environmental combination determines are sexual attraction. (Please don't take this as an argument that homosexual couples that adopt will raise their children to be homosexual - I think that is a bigotted and unfounded argument that statistics do not back up whatsoever.) My point is why do we assume that if you don't have some "gay gene" that you chose to be gay.

 

2) Our self-importance is just incredibly over inflated. Why does anyone's religion, sexual orientation, political affiliation etc... involve me?

[PP1]

Whenever this discussion comes up, I always ask the "choice" side: Why in the world would anyone "choose" to be gay, knowing the pain and persecution that comes from society for that "choice" ?

 

One of those things that makes you go hmmm...

 

People make direct decisions all the time that cause themselves pain. Why do people choose to put drugs in there body? Why do some parents choose to abuse their children? Why do people choose to have affairs on their spouses? Why do some people get drunk and act stupid at the reds game? Why are there men in the world that try to sleep with underage girls?

 

All of these things are decisions that people make that causes them pain, persecution, and is frowned upon by society?

 

I'm not saying that these examples are the same as a homosexual act or relationship, but I often hear the phrase "Why would anyone choose to do something that causes themselves so much pain?" I say people from all walks of life make those decisions all the time.

[PP1]

To me, it's no more of a sin for 2 gay people to sleep together than it is for a straight guy to sleep with a girl outside of marriage. :idunno:

 

I agree. They are both sins. Both make God upset and both are forgivable.

[MJAlltheWay24]

There's no more evidence to support that then there is to support that you're born either gay or straight.

 

Yeah, I'm definitely not basing that on fact, just throwing another possibility out there. Comes from my Psychology minor haha!

[B-Ball-fan]

I don't necessarily believe that people are born gay. But I question if things happen to them throughout their lives (often in early childhood) and they subconsciously make that decision. So in their mind, it wasn't a choice, but they weren't exactly "born gay".

 

I get what you saying and I hate to be too graphic and bring things to the most basic biological common denominator, and especially for a male, but the penis tends to have a mind of its own.

 

Especially in my younger days when the hormones were hopping around like crazy, I did not make a choice about what would stir me up inside. It just happened, and when it happened there was really no mistaking what was causing it.

 

At the same time those stirrings were never triggered by the site of a cute girl.

 

All I really wanted was to be just like all the other boys, so even subconsciously I can't see why at an early age I would have made that decision.

 

I even recall even before adolescence praying to and asking God "Why Me?", and "Please take these feelings away from me".

 

I already had an awareness that it wasn't considered normal by others, so I knew early on that I had to bottle it up, and not tell anyone for fear of an even longer childhood than I already had holding on to my secret.

[B-Ball-fan]

Everyone falls somewhere on a Straight/Gay scale of 0-10. There really are no 100% 0's and no 100% 10's, as much as all of us straight males want to pretend we do.

 

I am so glad that you brought this up. From my experiences of talking with various people, your comment tends to come closer to the truth than just about anything related to the topic.

 

For the sake of keeping the poll simple, I kept the question simple all the while knowing that it's not always as cut and dried as that.

 

While I do agree that many fall somewhere on the scale, I do believe that there are some complete 0's and some complete 10's.

 

As much as I am not blind to very attractive women, I still never in my life have felt any sense of arousal about them, so although in appearance I think that I'm ambiguous, I really am 100% gay, but that's not to say I'm attracted to all males either. I have my types just as ThrillVille Cardinal51 had stated about favoring white blonde girls.

 

It's a bit silly now when I think about it, but when I was about 14 I used to cover the walls of my room with posters of "Charlie's Angels", as well as having the famous Farrah Fawcett poster. I did this so family and friends would have no question in their mind about my orientation.

 

I also did it with the hopes that I could train myself to be straight, because I already realized by then that I wasn't. I thought "Any day now it's all gonna kick in"... but it just never did.

[TAC]

Yes, the moment I saw Raquel Welch in 1 Million BC!

 

Seriously??? I don't think anyone chooses their orientation.

 

You're welcome!

[hidinout]

Just as people are born with all sorts of tendencies and personalities it's my firm belief that people are born same sex attracted . Having an uncle who was gay and a brother in law who is gay I always thought there was a chance ( a higher chance than normal ? ) my son or daughter could be gay . As sure enough my son is gay . I watched closely from youth as I adored my first child much , and from his early youth I suspected he was gay . His trip thru early child hood and early teens sounds near exactly like b-ball guys . He didn't want to be gay . He fought like crazy for years not to be gay , he suffered like no human I've ever known trying not to be gay . But in the end .. he's gay . and once he accepted that ( and I think once he realized, and accepted , we still adore him) he got his life stabilized and is now living the dream so to speak . Off to see him for the holiday weekend tomorrow . He's 22 and a great young man.

[B-Ball-fan]

I promise that I never intended to make this thread appear to be all about me, however in contributing commentary, I can only do so from first hand experience.

 

I can't imagine that there's really much more that I can add personally, and I'm going to make a great effort not to.

 

I would just like to add that I am incredibly impressed by those who have contributed their thoughts in such a civilized and open minded fashion.

 

It's very cool that we can have such a discussion, and it represents a great sign of just how far many in the world have come in exploring a better understanding.

[BirdBrain]

People make direct decisions all the time that cause themselves pain. Why do people choose to put drugs in there body? Why do some parents choose to abuse their children? Why do people choose to have affairs on their spouses? Why do some people get drunk and act stupid at the reds game? Why are there men in the world that try to sleep with underage girls?

 

All of these things are decisions that people make that causes them pain, persecution, and is frowned upon by society?

 

I'm not saying that these examples are the same as a homosexual act or relationship, but I often hear the phrase "Why would anyone choose to do something that causes themselves so much pain?" I say people from all walks of life make those decisions all the time.

 

Choosing to act on a decision is where the societal pain comes in....some people know and never choose to act on the internal dialogue. The examples you cite are the actions that occur based on prior internal factors.

 

Would you consider an addict or alcoholic's use a "choice" to use a chemical ? If you answer yes, then we have to take into account what preceded the choice to pick it up. I believe that to be an internal malfunction within the person, much like cancer. Similar principle. (Not saying that homosexuality is like or equal to cancer, but that the internal malfunction causes an outward / visible result.

[BirdBrain]

Please don't read into the semantics of the word "malfunction" v "normal". Societal norms are the baseline I am using for the comparison.

[hidinout]

I re read my post and a choice of words I used kinda sticks out to me as the wrong word . I love my son and family unconditionally . But I think " adore" is a bad choice of words to use . In todays society words tend to get tossed around pretty loosely and I don't do that . I don't worship my son , or my wife or daughter , I love them as much as humanly possible but I worship and adore my Savior . He comes first .