How to handle difficult situation

[rjs4470]

The bolded: Just because your son wants to play at the next level, does not really mean anything to the coach. Just because someone else does not want to play at the next level does not mean anything to the coach.

Coaches are concerned about the here and now and setting up the team to win games.

 

Good luck. All the best to your son. I really hope he reaches his goals. But don't expect the coach to help him reach his goals. That's my opinion.

 

I couldn't agree more. Not intending to be rude here, but just honest. D2 is pretty high level. Aside from these camps, what leads you to believe your son has the chops to play D2 or even D3 ball? Remember, many of these camps are just moneymakers for the coaches that run them. Only about 6% of all high school football players go on to play college ball at any level....which means almost 95% do not. I would find it hard to believe that the coach is purposely sabotaging the team and his job to play an inferior kid over a more talented kid, especially one with supposed discipline issues.

 

That being said, the good news is your son is only a junior. A solid junior season will go a long way in setting up his college opportunities. And he may honestly have to look at playing another position. He should focus on controlling what is in his hands. Get bigger, faster and stronger by spending time in the gym. Work as hard as he can, and make an impact wherever he ends up playing. And make sure the grades are as high as they can be.....there is a lot more money available for excellent students than for very good football players.

[Harry Doyle]

^^^This.

[Dark Horse78]

Ok, from both sides of the fence. As a parent you are naturally biased to what you believe your son can/can't do...that's natural and I am not in any way knocking you for that. It is also natural to feel there is an issue when your son does not get what you believe he deserves based on what he has done and what you THINK the other kids has/hasn't done. As a parent the absolute worst thing you can do is bad mouth the coach....why? If you bad mouth coach in front of your son, you are putting him in a really tough situation that will eventually lead to poor performance...how? Because coach expects him to do things exactly as he says, when he says, and without any reserve...then he has dad telling him what his coach isn't doing. That puts your son in a bad situation...so PLEASE, don't do that. D-2/NAIA is VERY competetive football and MANY kids who are 1AA kids end up transferring to them when things may not pan out in the FCS level. D-2/NAIA sends kids to the pros...so keep in mind, that it's not show up and get to play college football. I have seen kids who were sub 4.5 40 yd dash kids, who rush for 1500-2000 yds and were top players in the state sign with NAIA/D-2 schools because the reality is, that is where they were good enough to play...and be successful. Remember that less than 2% of all high school football players play college football...so it's tough and not just a want to thing and takes a commitment level that is pretty far out there. Just being honest. One POSSIBLE conclusion for coach not really putting a lot of emphasis on your son and college is that he may really be working with the seniors to be on getting recruited, or he may not believe your son is good enough to play. Either way, YOU and your son have TOTAL control over the recruiting process. Get to as many 1 day camps as possible, send out short highlight films (2-3 mins is plenty), call college coaches and ask them to look the film over and give you an honest evaluation...that will be your best indicator for his ability at this juncture. Stay positive...you never know what will happen over the next 2 seasons if he works his tail off...but I know exaclty what will happen it you both become disgruntled. You guys will be left hating the experience and wishing for something different. Keep in mind, there is NOTHING wrong with a GREAT high school career...it's a lifetime of memories. Stay positive!

[Voice of Reason]

I agree VOR. But hey, it seems to be what's in vogue now.

 

Keep in mind I am not saying what is right or wrong, simply providing options to the OP's situation.

 

I would love to be a football romantic where everyone had pride in the school district they grew up in but it truly is a different time and culture. I truly wish that culture still existed in its pure form. Recruiting is a different animal and the OP made this very clear in his post that his son's desire is to play on the next level.

 

Unfortunately in this new landscape hard work and being a team player has taken a backseat to highlight films, stat lines, and exposure. If the kid is desperate to play college football and get a scholarship and the father is supporting this then it is completely realistic that what may be their best option is to find the place where there is a fresh start and a better fit.

 

As Watusi noted in a post above, I was referring to the Independent comment. Independent schools have the exact same rules as county public schools. People act like independent schools are not public schools.

[trinitron12]

Thanks for all your responses. I have never and will never talk bad about a coach in front of any players. As a AAU softball coach I know this just leads to worse situations. the reason I think he can play at the next level is because the coaches and some of the small school camps and combines have made that clear. Hopefully he will get his chances and make the best of them.

 

I for one will not be transferring just because running from the issue isn't how I want him to learn to handle adversity..

 

thanks again for all the responses It interesting to see how many different opinions are out there.

[FootballBobcat]

So much great advice on this thread. My son was in a somewhat similar situation. Excelling at camps, etc. But do those camps have truly elite athletes at them. They may be very good athletes but are they the college bound ones? Those camps can make them better players but that does not mean they are next level qualified. As far as transferring to another school, that can go either way. It may be a better fit and need someone with your sons skill set. However, is it going to be a new school with the same issues you just left? Is your son guaranteed to play there? I think the best advice I saw was to work on the things you control -- attitude and effort. After that you have to see what happens. He may have to play a different position than what he wants. But be careful of saying anything about the coaches and other players. That can come back to haunt you as recruiters may hear about that and they won't want that attitude as part of their program. We picked a school that is the best fit for him academically and if football works out so be it. That is up to his work ethic, attitude and God given talent. Good luck to you and your son.

[hoops5]

One POSSIBLE conclusion for coach not really putting a lot of emphasis on your son and college is that he may really be working with the seniors to be on getting recruited,

I never considered that. Interesting. Let's hope that coaches really do that.

[Bluegrasscard]

Don't forget about grades. That can be important to most smaller DII and NAIA schools.

 

If he can play other positions as a starter as a junior then do that. Coaches are looking for athletes at the skill positions. Do your own filming and get a highlight clip on YouTube.

 

Good luck

[Watusi]

Hopefully he will get his chances and make the best of them.

 

I for one will not be transferring just because running from the issue isn't how I want him to learn to handle adversity..

Excellent attitude and approach, IMO. While I wouldn't condemn anyone who felt it was in their best interest to transfer, in the long run, I think this life lesson will serve your son very well.

 

When the going gets tough...

[BigVMan23]

So much great advice on this thread. My son was in a somewhat similar situation. Excelling at camps, etc. But do those camps have truly elite athletes at them. They may be very good athletes but are they the college bound ones? Those camps can make them better players but that does not mean they are next level qualified. As far as transferring to another school, that can go either way. It may be a better fit and need someone with your sons skill set. However, is it going to be a new school with the same issues you just left? Is your son guaranteed to play there? I think the best advice I saw was to work on the things you control -- attitude and effort. After that you have to see what happens. He may have to play a different position than what he wants. But be careful of saying anything about the coaches and other players. That can come back to haunt you as recruiters may hear about that and they won't want that attitude as part of their program. We picked a school that is the best fit for him academically and if football works out so be it. That is up to his work ethic, attitude and God given talent. Good luck to you and your son.

 

Good first post FootballBobcat. Hope to hear more from you.

[Hellbird]

So much great advice on this thread. My son was in a somewhat similar situation. Excelling at camps, etc. But do those camps have truly elite athletes at them. They may be very good athletes but are they the college bound ones? Those camps can make them better players but that does not mean they are next level qualified. As far as transferring to another school, that can go either way. It may be a better fit and need someone with your sons skill set. However, is it going to be a new school with the same issues you just left? Is your son guaranteed to play there? I think the best advice I saw was to work on the things you control -- attitude and effort. After that you have to see what happens. He may have to play a different position than what he wants. But be careful of saying anything about the coaches and other players. That can come back to haunt you as recruiters may hear about that and they won't want that attitude as part of their program. We picked a school that is the best fit for him academically and if football works out so be it. That is up to his work ethic, attitude and God given talent. Good luck to you and your son.

 

Great advice. Very important advice about not hounding the coach about where you think your son should play also.

 

True story, my son played QB from 1st grade all the way up to HS. After his Freshman year I simply asked the coach if he would consider giving him an equal shot at winning the QB job for varsity. That was the one and only time it ever came up in conversation between the coach and myself. I knew he was the coach and would do what was best for the team and my son, so I let it go at that. He saw something in my son that other coaches didn't and could be because he was a pretty succesful QB growing up, he led the entire BCPWFL in TD passes his last year in that league yet his HS coach saw him helping the team elsewhere and made him a WR and starting his sophomore year for the varsity team. He did play QB in 2 JV games his Soph year when they needed a QB and he finished with 5 TD's and 0 int in 2 games, but he fell in love with his new position and took to playing WR like duck on water. He started as a Soph at the

position and by the time his senior year came around he was leading the entire state in receptions after 8 games. He will now be playing WR in college and we owe it all to a very smart coach who saw the potential no one else saw and moved him to a position he never played before in his life until his varsity career started.

 

So trust your kids coaches, they want to win and if your son is better suited playing a position you aren't happy with, he is doing it because it is best for the team and him in the long run.