Funniest Halftime Quotes

[Cat_n_the_Hat]

I was lucky enough to be in the locker room with the North Laurel football team in 2003...They were losing something like 50-0 to Corbin and coach Duncum came in the locker room and said "That was worse than a Chinese Fire Drill as a matter of fact, Out of respect for the Chinese I'm not going to even call it that" :dancingpa

 

 

 

What is some you have heard..

[pigman]

We had a defensive tackle who's nickname was cyclops. We were playing Paris that year and they were running his side at will. At halftime coach Webb asks " What are you doing cyclops they own you. You're giving up so much yardage they're going to put up a sign over there and open a subdivision and call it Cyclops Acres." It was all I could do not to spit out my gatorade.

[oldrambler]

I did hear of one where a coach said to a ruunning back....."Dang it son, you are going to fumble my dang job away" :lol: .

[Hatz]

We had a defensive tackle who's nickname was cyclops. We were playing Paris that year and they were running his side at will. At halftime coach Webb asks " What are you doing cyclops they own you. You're giving up so much yardage they're going to put up a sign over there and open a subdivision and call it Cyclops Acres." It was all I could do not to spit out my gatorade.

 

 

I know of no coach with more quality lines than Raymond Webb. He was one of the most colorful and funny coaches I ever met. He could also coach x's and o's very well.

[pigman]

Yes he could.

[Ram]

After having a holding penalty in the first half of our game in week 5, Coach Bill Tom Ross asked me loudly in front of the entire team, "How many holding penalties have you had this year?" I replied, "Coach that is my first one". Coach Ross address the entire team, saying "That is an important lesson to all of you, pay attention".

[justme2018]

I have one that happened when I was 9 or 10 (cant remember) playing little league.

Little did I know at the time this happen but my coach had apparently had a little to much to drink the night before.

We were playing and playing awful I might add. At halftime our coach came over and was just disgusted. What followed haunted me for years. " You guys are playing terrible what is going on? This is so bad it makes me sick!" As he said that he turns around and pukes everywhere. Of course all of us were like holy crap! We made coach puke. Well to say we came out a little different the 2nd half would be a understatement. I would have to say that still tops my charts and I played for about 18 years. If any are any better I can't remember them.

[Ram]

I have one that happened when I was 9 or 10 (cant remember) playing little league.

Little did I know at the time this happen but my coach had apparently had a little to much to drink the night before.

We were playing and playing awful I might add. At halftime our coach came over and was just disgusted. What followed haunted me for years. " You guys are playing terrible what is going on? This is so bad it makes me sick!" As he said that he turns around and pukes everywhere. Of course all of us were like holy crap! We made coach puke. Well to say we came out a little different the 2nd half would be a understatement. I would have to say that still tops my charts and I played for about 18 years. If any are any better I can't remember them.

 

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

The things coaches will do to motivate their teams never ceases to amaze me.

[Getreal]

I had a coach in basketball that had a temper. We were not playing well in the first half and were down by 5 or 6. He came into the locker room at the half, looked disgusted, punched a locker and walked out. Never said a word to us. We looked at each other and went out for the second half. The coach just sat at the far end of the bench and didn't talk to us. When the coach didn't tell us who was in, we decided to go with the 5 that started the game. We played better in the second half and won the game without coaching.

 

We found out later that week that the coach had broken his hand when he punched the locker and was in pain. I'm sure that he was even a littler madder that we did better without his coaching. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[Jeepman]

Our Head coach at half time time was so mad because number 24 of the other team had scored 3 Touchdowns against or defense. He was ranting and raving and saying things that you could get away with saying to a team in 1971 but go to jail for now. He looked directly at me and said "Son I want you on him like flys on fresh hamburger. If he goes to the bathroom I want you standing there holding the toilet paper for him. Do you understand me." Of course I said yes. Needless to say I followed number 24 around for the rest of the game. It was not funny at the time but during our 30th reunion most everyone on the team remembered Coach Dozier telling me that and we sure got some good laughs.

[PutMeInCoach]

It was late in the season and we were playing Conner. It was the first time the freshman had dressed with us and we were down a few.

 

I don't exactly remember what he said, but it was something to the likes of if you don't come back and win this game I will pull your eyes out and eat them..

 

We ended up winning and it sure had me pretty terrified I can only imagine what the freshman were thinking.. Coach M was good with his words.

[The Sooner Surge]

It was late in the season and we were playing Conner. It was the first time the freshman had dressed with us and we were down a few.

 

I don't exactly remember what he said, but it was something to the likes of if you don't come back and win this game I will pull your eyes out and eat them..

 

We ended up winning and it sure had me pretty terrified I can only imagine what the freshman were thinking.. Coach M was good with his words.

 

 

That scared me as well. Overall I thought that was one of the more memorable games that honorable season, having to comeback from behind and all.

[jpa2825]

Best Garnis Martin line I ever heard was that one of the slower lineman "Couldn't catch a bear in a telephone booth."

[volfan782000]

Having played back in the 70's I cant print alot of the funny ones i heard due to language, however here goes:

 

"we're so dang slow we look like turtles at a track meet"

 

"they way we're hitting those boys I hope your mommas and daddies have sons next time"

 

"hey so and so, are ya gonna block him or just keep kissing him all night"

 

Just a few....gee seems like manhood got questioned alot back then...lol

[Ram]

^ Manhood, I don't think we were ever referred to as men.

 

A couple not directed at me, but funny. Edited for content.

 

"What is the difference between you and a bucket of crap?", "The bucket."

 

"You have got to be the dumbest, smart kid, that I have ever coached"

An oxymoron, but funny. (pun intended)