Why Men Hate Going to Church

[ladiesbballcoach]

We have been studying this book in our D-Group and it has been a very interesting read. Has anyone else read this book?

 

I will share some things he brings out as we go.

 

http://www.amazon.com/Why-Men-Hate-Going-Church/dp/0785260382/ref=sr_11_1/104-2208488-5455150?ie=UTF8

 

He starts the book with a lot of stats/research to show reasons why men don't like church. But before I muddy the water with his views, thought I would open this up to BGP.

[HHSDad]

I think the main reason that men hate going to church is accountability.

[lionfan13]

I love going to church.

[Alabama Larry]

Golf, lake, fishing, NFL, late saturday nites (sleep), hungover, Lady friend, these are some of things that keeps them away, now the word "Hate" needs to be looked at. So ask your group about this word.

[titletownclown]

I must admit that I wasn't that eager to go to church until our music minister asked me to play guitar in the band for Sunday morning service. This band is just a TAD:D different than my college band, but fun nonetheless. I now have the feeling that I'm a part of something; therefore, the whole experience is much more satisfying.

[Oldbird]

I think independence is a big issue. Men by nature desire to be totally self reliant, while church at its core is a body where that encourages total dependence on God.

[HHSballer19]

1. He has to get up early.

2. He has to get semi-dressed up.

[spindoc]

1. He has to get up early.

2. He has to get semi-dressed up.

9:00 is early?

[HHSballer19]

After a late-Saturday night? Yes.

[Hasbeen]

Not speaking for men in general, but for me personally. My dislike is audience participation. I don't want to stand up and be recognized because it's my birthday, I'm visiting, it's Father's Day, my turn to lead prayer, or whatever. I sometimes wish we had one of those Mega Churches in our area where one could just blend in with the crowd.

[ladiesbballcoach]

I think independence is a big issue. Men by nature desire to be totally self reliant, while church at its core is a body where that encourages total dependence on God.

One of the chapters he has in the book is upon this lines and how the vocabulary of the church implies this.

 

For example the term saved. In our society brings up the image of "damsel in distress." Men don't like looking at themselves as a damsel in distress. Was saved a term Jesus used? Not really. He did use it twice but did not expound on it at all.

 

But he did use the term "follow me" a great deal. He continually asked people to not let him save them but to follow him. Will men follow Jesus?

 

Men follow people they perceive as great leaders with a great purpose all the time. Sports, Business, great leaders are followed. Would the Bengals say that Marvin Lewis saved them? Probably not. Would they say they are willing to follow him? Probably so.

 

So a term that has become popular in today's church, Jesus used very sparingly. And yet the term that Jesus used is not as popular in today's church.

 

Are men saved by Christ? Of course, but is that the message that a visitor, an unchurched male or a new Christian needs to have to accept? Or is a term that is more easier accepted by a Christian that is mature in their faith?

 

He also explores the term "family of God." Not a term used by Christ and only used once in Scriptures and not at a happy time. But it is used to to describe Christians today. Jesus used buidling a "kingdom of God." Men would get into building kingdom's, but that has fallen by the wayside for today's churches.

 

Also, the term relationship is a buzzword in today's church. Any of you guys describe your friendships with other guys as relationships? But we are told to build a personal relationship with Christ. I have said those words. But does Jesus tell us to build a personal relationship with Christ? No, he tells us to walk with him.

[ladiesbballcoach]

1. He has to get up early.

2. He has to get semi-dressed up.

2. Get rid of the dress code is a message of the book. And I think for the most part that is changing in a lot of churches. I wear jeans every Sunday so that someone coming to my church in jeans will someone dressed like them. Our minister on EASTER SUNDAY. No tie, no sports jacket. Pull over shirt and khakis.

 

1. Funny how 9:00 AM is early when M-F, they get up a lot earlier. But alot of churches are moving to different service times. We have a 9:00 AM and a 10:30 AM worship services. Fellowship of Believers in Florence area, even has a 12:30 service.

[ladiesbballcoach]

I must admit that I wasn't that eager to go to church until our music minister asked me to play guitar in the band for Sunday morning service. This band is just a TAD:D different than my college band, but fun nonetheless. I now have the feeling that I'm a part of something; therefore, the whole experience is much more satisfying.

The book did explore music and technology and the presentation of services. The book stated that men want to invite their friends to the service and not be embarrassed by the quality of the service. They want the presentation to be slick and professional, the music to be good, and the minister to be a good speaker. Those things are important to them because when they invite friends, and they will, they want the image to come across as we are doing things for the Lord, first rate and not sloppy and haphazardly.

 

And you bring up another point. Men want to feel they are involved in something meaningful and purposeful. You do that now. From what you posted, your attendance at church as a meaning while before you wondered if it did.

 

Men will do great things if asked to do great things. But when they feel that church has no meaning in their community or in their life, it becomes a social club to them that meets on Sunday morning. Not worthy of a commitment.

[ladiesbballcoach]

Not speaking for men in general, but for me personally. My dislike is audience participation. I don't want to stand up and be recognized because it's my birthday, I'm visiting, it's Father's Day, my turn to lead prayer, or whatever. I sometimes wish we had one of those Mega Churches in our area where one could just blend in with the crowd.

This was discussed in a couple of chapters. And the questions were debated,

"Do churches grow large because of the presence of so many men?"

Or

"Men prefer Large churches because they are large."

 

And for the last one, the argument is "because they can hide out."

[spindoc]

After a late-Saturday night? Yes.

Probably a significant reason to be there Sunday!!:thumb: