Why Men Hate Going to Church

[scooterbob]

Seemingly endless and pointless sermons. If sermons were strictly limited to 12 minutes or less, it might increase both male and female attendance. After 12 minutes or so,most everyone has tuned out anyway. If it can't be said in 12 minutes, it needn't be said because it won't be remembered.

 

I recently attended a church for the first time. The sermon lasted 31 minutes and 47 seconds (yes, indeed, I did time it). I mentioned the oration to a relative who said that the preacher had a lot of points to his sermon. I suggested that he could have saved half of them for the next week. I most likely won't be back.

[YAKOFNORWEGIA]

Was Jesus expecting too much from his disciples in the Garden when he went to pray alone. I believe that he prayed longer that 12 minutes. If the preacher is being led by the Spirit then I should honor the Spirit and worship God by pay attention. I belong to a church with a preacher who has on more than one occasion flipped the side on a 90 minute tape. Our church has grown 40%-50% in the last 3 years.

[ladiesbballcoach]

Seemingly endless and pointless sermons. If sermons were strictly limited to 12 minutes or less, it might increase both male and female attendance. After 12 minutes or so,most everyone has tuned out anyway. If it can't be said in 12 minutes, it needn't be said because it won't be remembered.

 

I recently attended a church for the first time. The sermon lasted 31 minutes and 47 seconds (yes, indeed, I did time it). I mentioned the oration to a relative who said that the preacher had a lot of points to his sermon. I suggested that he could have saved half of them for the next week. I most likely won't be back.

This point was brought up. In education we are taught that the attention span of a person is there age plus 10 minutes, I believe it was. And that has a cap. A 97-year old does not have an attention span of 107 minutes.

 

I think those long sermons are great for the spiritual mature Christian. But here we are talking about the unchurch. Yes, a spiritual mature Christian should be respectful of a 90-minute sermon. But the first time visitor who knows little to nothing of Christ?

 

The author pointed out that Jesus taught in parables. At some point, he said that the longest parable in a teaching format was around 6 minutes if my memory is correct. I will check on that.

 

Jesus did not teach in long sermons. He spoke in length but his teachings from what we gather were in short parables.

[titletownclown]

The book did explore music and technology and the presentation of services. The book stated that men want to invite their friends to the service and not be embarrassed by the quality of the service. They want the presentation to be slick and professional, the music to be good, and the minister to be a good speaker. Those things are important to them because when they invite friends, and they will, they want the image to come across as we are doing things for the Lord, first rate and not sloppy and haphazardly.

 

And you bring up another point. Men want to feel they are involved in something meaningful and purposeful. You do that now. From what you posted, your attendance at church as a meaning while before you wondered if it did.

 

Men will do great things if asked to do great things. But when they feel that church has no meaning in their community or in their life, it becomes a social club to them that meets on Sunday morning. Not worthy of a commitment.

 

Interestingly enough, our pastor echoes the same thoughts.:thumb:

[ladiesbballcoach]

Interestingly enough, our pastor echoes the same thoughts.:thumb:

The D-Group that I lead has two elders, two deacons and the senior minister in it and I chose the book to lead to interesting discussions and to provoke them thinking out of the box. It has done that and has been a very interesting read and discussion.

 

Surprising to me, they have readily agreed with about 95% of the things that the author has brought up.

[HHSDad]

I think if you can get a man involved in small groups, especially with other men, you have a better chance of keeping him in church. Doubly so if the group has men in it that he looks up to.

[ladiesbballcoach]

I think if you can get a man involved in small groups, especially with other men, you have a better chance of keeping him in church. Doubly so if the group has men in it that he looks up to.

 

Proverbs 27:17 (New International Version)

New International Version (NIV)

 

 

17 As iron sharpens iron,

so one man sharpens another.

[scooterbob]

Ladybballcoach's post about sermon length is interesting. I'm afraid that there is no way that I could (or would) remain attentive for a sermon lasting for my age plus 10 minutes. I suppose that may be why I get far more from the homilies at Catholic churches than I do at the "extended orations" at most Protestant churches. I don't think the service should be designed so that the sermon is the dominent part of the event and that everything else is secondary. Of course, I may be wrong because it seems to me that most operate that way.

[HHSDad]

Ladybballcoach's post about sermon length is interesting. I'm afraid that there is no way that I could (or would) remain attentive for a sermon lasting for my age plus 10 minutes. I suppose that may be why I get far more from the homilies at Catholic churches than I do at the "extended orations" at most Protestant churches. I don't think the service should be designed so that the sermon is the dominent part of the event and that everything else is secondary. Of course, I may be wrong because it seems to me that most operate that way.

I think the problem with some sermons, just like so many other orations, is twofold. First, the speaker thinks that quantity equals quality. Instead of making his point clearly and moving on, they beat the subject to death. The other problem, moreso with sermons than other speeches, is that preachers feel that they have a timeslot to fill. Whether the subject demands it or not, they are going to speak for 40 minutes so that they get out at 11:50; before the Methodists, but after the Presbyterians. Gotta make sure you get your table at Frisches.

[titletownclown]

Proverbs 27:17 (New International Version)

New International Version (NIV)

 

 

17 As iron sharpens iron,

so one man sharpens another.

 

Note to self: Never argue religion with people capable of quoting scripture.

 

2nd note to self: Try and remember which books are in which testament other than Genesis and Revelations.

[Wireman]

Ladybballcoach's post about sermon length is interesting. I'm afraid that there is no way that I could (or would) remain attentive for a sermon lasting for my age plus 10 minutes. I suppose that may be why I get far more from the homilies at Catholic churches than I do at the "extended orations" at most Protestant churches. I don't think the service should be designed so that the sermon is the dominent part of the event and that everything else is secondary. Of course, I may be wrong because it seems to me that most operate that way.

 

I think what it all boils down to is not necessarily length or even quality/quantity, but rather the ability of the preacher to be an excellent public speaker. I've been to many different churches throughout the course of my life. I have been to Baptist, Freewill Baptist, United Baptist, Old Regular Baptist, Church of God, Church of Christ, Pentacostal Church, Methodist Church, and a few others that have slipped my mind right now. I have seen all different styles of preachers or pastors and the ones that I trully enjoyed where the ones that 1) spoke plainly, loudly, and cleary, 2) had points and were able to support those points, 3) knew the Bible inside out, and 4) had all the characteristics of a great public speaker.

[Watusi]

I don't think the service should be designed so that the sermon is the dominent part of the event and that everything else is secondary.

 

AMEN.

 

When we come together on the first day of the week, it is to worship Him, praise Him, honor Him and remember His sacrifice for us.

 

We are not the audience.

[Oldbird]

I don't think the length is that big of a deal.

 

I think how engaging the semon is much more important.

 

We are a church full of many people having their first encounter with God and church and they routinely sit through 30-40 minute sermons, but the speaker is quite good.

[Oldbird]

I think what it all boils down to is not necessarily length or even quality/quantity, but rather the ability of the preacher to be an excellent public speaker. I've been to many different churches throughout the course of my life. I have been to Baptist, Freewill Baptist, United Baptist, Old Regular Baptist, Church of God, Church of Christ, Pentacostal Church, Methodist Church, and a few others that have slipped my mind right now. I have seen all different styles of preachers or pastors and the ones that I trully enjoyed where the ones that 1) spoke plainly, loudly, and cleary, 2) had points and were able to support those points, 3) knew the Bible inside out, and 4) had all the characteristics of a great public speaker.

 

I grew up Old Regular Baptist and those were the worst services to sit through.

[Wireman]

I grew up Old Regular Baptist and those were the worst services to sit through.

 

That is what I was raised on, as well. I have seen those services last 3 hours in those really old school churches with no air conditioning.