Kids Quitting

[Qryche11]

I think it all starts at home. We as parents need to lay the foundation for these kids to show them the importance of respecting coaches, being good teammates that can be counted on and most importantly being true to themselves. If you quit at this age and cannot deal with adversity, it will follow you into your adulthood and when the chips are down, you will take the easy way out. I'm not saying hold a gun to your kid's head when they are having difficulty in a sport but stress to them the importance of being a team member and the role they play. Also stress the respect factor, even if they feel they are getting a raw deal.

[Hilltopper2005]

I agree that much of the blame goes to the parents. If Little Jimmy doesn't get playing time here, we'll transfer him to somewhere that he will get to play. If Little Jimmy's team isn't winning, it's the coaches fault. Etc Etc Etc The kids never do wrong anymore. There is no discipline at home and today's society allows for very little discipline at school. It used to be "When the going gets tough, the tough get going". Now it's more like "When the going gets tough, I quit". So sad to see todays youth with no heart and no desire and most of all no work ethic.

[coacharn21]

Much of what has been said is very true I am sure, but it seems to be a foregone conclusion that kids should "tough it out no matter what". Coaches demand a lot now a days, just like in the past, but with today's fast paced game, perhaps more then before in some respects. Kids are told that basketball is their #1 focus, it's their job, etc.

Most of us are older and been working for years. What do you do when you have a boss who's a jerk, who makes the wrong decision every time, who favors a co-worker for raises and promotions because of who he's related to or who he knows? If at all possible you quit with a big splash and walk away (If you can afford to do so money wise). Well, the pay for playing high school ball ain't all that much!

I'm just saying, sometimes kids, and smart kids at that, say "enough is enough".

 

Yes if kids feel that they are never going to make it, or aren't good enough, they can quit, and it probably wouldnt be detrimental to the team. I don't think we're talking about those kinds of kids. If kids are angry that they are not getting the ball enough, or asked to do the dirty work, or asked go by certain rules and quits because they can't handle criticism, then there is a problem.

 

I know some schools discourage, or frown upon cutting players, because it will "hurt a kids feelings" or make someone angry. Well, it isn't going to make things any better keeping a bunch of kids around who will probably never play, disillusioned that they are good because they made the team. The best thing to be done for this kid is to be cut.

 

What ever happened to learning from failure, to work hard and improve and prove yourself?

[Basketballfan08]

What about coaches that treat kids like they are nobody. Tell them they are just there to fill a spot until the younger kids get better. What about self respect. Don't blame it all on the coaches. Simms is one of the worst. I heard from some of the players down there, when they came down here to play us devils that all he was waiting for was the younger boys to take him to state, well I have news for him, he won't be going to state anytime in the near future with his attitude. He does have some young talent, but he must be forgetting that most of the other players have younger talent too!!! During the Mason Co. game at the end he played most of his 8th and 9th graders and they still manhandled them. Go Devils.....

[scheat40]

All I have to say is the rule in my house is if you start something ,

anything you finish it if next year you don't want to do it then don't, but

no quitting.:sssh:

[doomer]

As parents we have stressed the following if in a bad situation:

 

First look at what you can do to improve it - and do it. It is usually better if you can improve the situation that you are in.

If that doesn't work (the playing field isn't always level) then make a plan.

Quitting for attention and/or out of anger or frustration is usually not a good plan!

[ladiesbballcoach]

What about coaches that treat kids like they are nobody. Tell them they are just there to fill a spot until the younger kids get better. What about self respect. Don't blame it all on the coaches. Simms is one of the worst. I heard from some of the players down there, when they came down here to play us devils that all he was waiting for was the younger boys to take him to state, well I have news for him, he won't be going to state anytime in the near future with his attitude. He does have some young talent, but he must be forgetting that most of the other players have younger talent too!!! During the Mason Co. game at the end he played most of his 8th and 9th graders and they still manhandled them. Go Devils.....

 

I disagree. I have found Chad Simms to be a fine coach and a good young Christian man. You may disagree with his substition patterns but he definitely doesn't treat his players as nobodies.

 

The other thing I have found in my 18 years of coaching, players who don't want to play love to use the coach as the reason. I had a player once that did not want to play. But she played because of her dad. She ended up quitting. The next year, your best friend was in a conversation with the players and they were talking about how I had ran that player off.

 

The best friend chuckled and said that wasn't close to the truth. She quit because she was tired of how her dad treated her after games. She was tired of being ripped on and the pressure from home. To this day, dad still things that it was my fault and blames me. That's okay, that's part of my job as coach. To protect the players.

 

If you are a parent, players don't always tell you the full truth of the situation. As someone aboved mentioned, they don't want to let you down. They don't want you to see them as a quitter or someone who failed. So, the easy person to blame, is the coach. The coach is mean. The coach said this to me. The coach makes it not fun. Etc, etc, etc.

 

I had a parent who stormed into my office one day. He had a daughter crying and wanted to know why I made a certain comment to her. My two assistant coaches were in the meeting with her (coaches protect yourself have an earwitness and an eyewitness to what you say and do) and before I could reply, one stepped up and said, "He never said anything like that. This is what he said." The parent asked me if that was true. I indicated it was and he wondered aloud why his daughter would say that.

 

Later on, we found out but I don't think she ever told her parents, she played because her sister played. She didn't love it and could have done without it. But it was my fault.

 

And to an extent I have fine with it. That happens when you are the coach. You are going to take the blame for things that the 14-15 year old is not going to give their parents the honest truth to.

[SvFan4life]

I don't know if I agree with the issue of kids quitting. Come on guys, if they don't want to play they don't want to play. Who are we to judge whether a kid should keep on playing. I mean if anyone is familiar with the 15th region then you know Kelsey Friend and Seth Kiser from Shelby Valley a few years back. They were pushed and pushed by their parents and, yes, they played but they hated every minute of it, they barely tried and they just grew out of it. It wasn't fun for them anymore. I think if a kid wants to quit a sport then it's fine, what if they want to get a job? Want to focus on school? What if it's just not fun for them anymore?

[coacharn21]

Agreed it is better they quit than stay and be a cancer to the team.

[Hamilton Joe]

I disagree. I have found Chad Simms to be a fine coach and a good young Christian man. You may disagree with his substition patterns but he definitely doesn't treat his players as nobodies.

 

The other thing I have found in my 18 years of coaching, players who don't want to play love to use the coach as the reason. I had a player once that did not want to play. But she played because of her dad. She ended up quitting. The next year, your best friend was in a conversation with the players and they were talking about how I had ran that player off.

 

The best friend chuckled and said that wasn't close to the truth. She quit because she was tired of how her dad treated her after games. She was tired of being ripped on and the pressure from home. To this day, dad still things that it was my fault and blames me. That's okay, that's part of my job as coach. To protect the players.

 

If you are a parent, players don't always tell you the full truth of the situation. As someone aboved mentioned, they don't want to let you down. They don't want you to see them as a quitter or someone who failed. So, the easy person to blame, is the coach. The coach is mean. The coach said this to me. The coach makes it not fun. Etc, etc, etc.

 

I had a parent who stormed into my office one day. He had a daughter crying and wanted to know why I made a certain comment to her. My two assistant coaches were in the meeting with her (coaches protect yourself have an earwitness and an eyewitness to what you say and do) and before I could reply, one stepped up and said, "He never said anything like that. This is what he said." The parent asked me if that was true. I indicated it was and he wondered aloud why his daughter would say that.

 

Later on, we found out but I don't think she ever told her parents, she played because her sister played. She didn't love it and could have done without it. But it was my fault.

 

And to an extent I have fine with it. That happens when you are the coach. You are going to take the blame for things that the 14-15 year old is not going to give their parents the honest truth to.

 

As I have said in my earlier posts there is enough blame to spread around equally amongest players, parents and coaches. Kids don't always tell their parents the entire truth. Parents often only hear what they want to hear and coaches can be just as onesided in their thinking. Recently it just seems to me that there happens to be more and more insecure paranoid coaches that makes me wonder why they got into the profession. Just a reminder coaches, you are doing it for the kids aren't you? If you are looking to have your fragile ego stroked at the high school level then you are in the wrong business.

[Log Mountain Boy]

I don't believe in quitting at all. I believe you should finish what you start. There are some exceptions though. I can remember a kid quitting in high school because his family wasn't very well off and he needed to get a job to help out. Other than that kids shouldn't quit, but they are kids who do make mistakes. And you hope they learn from those mistakes later on.

[The MAN-ning]

My boys are younger but both like to play any sport available. The rule in our home is: (because there's always a fee) once the money's paid and you start playing then you're not quitting. We make them decide before hand. They know the rule and it's never been an issue. I feel if this rule is always enforced, when they get to high school quitting won't be an issue.

 

The bible says to "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6. I believe this means in all aspects of life. You have to start when they're young.

[HHSDad]

I haven't read through all your posts. I'll just give my opinion.

 

The increase in kids quitting sports, especially talented athletes stems from two things:

1) Too many of our kids our immersed into sports from the time they are very young. They participate year round going to training camps in between seasons. By the time they get to their upperclassman years, they're fed up with sports.

 

2) If #1 doesn't apply, then its usually a case of coddling our kids and not making them be responsible or follow through on anything.

[SvFan4life]

I haven't read through all your posts. I'll just give my opinion.

 

The increase in kids quitting sports, especially talented athletes stems from two things:

1) Two many of our kids our immersed into sports from the time they are very young. They participate year round going to training camps in between seasons. By the time they get to their upperclassman years, they're fed up with sports.

2) If #1 doesn't apply, then its usually a case of coddling our kids and not making them be responsible or follow through on anything.

 

Basically what I said...Mine was with parents pushing them from when they were little, and they just get fed up with it and it's not fun for them anymore!:thumb:

[ladiesbballcoach]

As I have said in my earlier posts there is enough blame to spread around equally amongest players, parents and coaches. Kids don't always tell their parents the entire truth. Parents often only hear what they want to hear and coaches can be just as onesided in their thinking. Recently it just seems to me that there happens to be more and more insecure paranoid coaches that makes me wonder why they got into the profession. Just a reminder coaches, you are doing it for the kids aren't you? If you are looking to have your fragile ego stroked at the high school level then you are in the wrong business.

 

The coaching business is different than it was. Before, you could be the coach of a school for a long time because it wasn't all about winning and college scholarships. Now, if you aren't winning and giving kids chances to win college scholarships that are not necessarily there, than you are going to have parents on the phone to the superintendent and board members.

 

Before, they gave you time to grow into the job and develop a program and players. Now, you aren't winning after 2 years and you could find yourself out of a job.

 

Why are they insecure and paranoid, because parents are working hard to get them fired when little Johnny/Jenny ain't being recruited by UK or getting enough shot attempts.

 

I had one parent tell me that I need to chart shot attempts and when players reach a certain number they are not allowed to shoot anymore that game. Yep, that parent ended up contacting board members and superintendent pushing for me to be fired.