great post....I agree. You lose a kids respect when you start ranting and raving using cuss words. It gets you nowhere. Nothing wrong with raising your voice at a young man to motivate him but degrading them with profanity is unacceptable.

 

Raising your voice is one thing, cussing is cussing, degrading is something else. I've had alot of coaches in my time, one of which is in the hall of fame and they all cussed. I never felt like I was being degraded and I never lost respect for them because they used profanity. It did "tick" me off sometimes and it offended others. You can't get through life without getting "ticked" off or offended so there is no sense in running from it. IMO it's something you learn to deal with. Is it necessary? No.

Not to change the subject but to point out that teachers are held to a higher regard in this manner than a normal citizen. There are cases that teachers have lost their teaching certificate and as a result their ability to teach in the state of Kentucky because of too many DUI's.

Agreed. But back to an earlier question...how far do you go with it? Do you report it to an administrator/athletic director? Most of the time coaches are teachers. I know of a case where a teacher/coach made serious "motivational comments" to players and it was reported. (LBBC you may know of this personally) What do you do when you report these kinds of cases and basically nothing is done? What do you do when you are not satified with the actions of the administration?

I am a coach, and I feel that not only is it unprofessional it also reveals that you as a coach have no better/more intelligent way to express yourself. I used to swear constantly, and I realized that kids will use my ill-behavior as justification to use foul language as well...so I stopped before I did damage to their character and my prestige as a coach in their eyes and the eyes of the parents.

My honest opinion is that if a coach has to curse at a kid to get their attention then they are not much of a coach anyways. The coach is a symbol of authority and should always be viewed as that. If I was a board member of a school and caught wind of a coach cursing at the kids I would give him a directive. I think more schools need to crack down on their coaches and not allow the cursing or humiliation of kids. A coach is a trusted individual and is looked at as a role model in many instances, therefore should always be willing to refrain from any and all negative and obscene language to anyone.

Political correctness is really starting to wear me out. As has been stated on here and, I agree doing it all the time is not neccesary,and it does tend to fall on deaf ears. Our head coach seldom uses profanity, but when he does the players know he means business.

Cursing in front of kids, and cursing at kids are totally different.

 

Cursing in front of kids is OK, as long as it is infrequent.

 

Cursing at kids is totally inappropriate and I see no need for it at all.

:thumb: My feelings exactly. There is a big difference in a coach cussing at a player and a coach cursing in front of a player. IMO, good coaches never curse at their players, but many curse to get the teams attention.

Although I may not like it, I have no major problems with cussing by a coach of high school age kids in general, it is a part of everyday society and some people curse and some don't. High school age kids understand that.

 

Name calling, berrating or ridiculing a kid is another issue, especially if profanity is thrown in the mix.

 

On the other hand, coaches of middle school or younger age kids should not use profane or vulgar language at all, IMO. I can't imagine a coaching using the type of language as described above to a group of 8 year olds and it being acceptable. Adults involved in youth leagues need to be held accountable to a certain standard and that standard has to be set higher than that.

The way I will handle it with my child is I would not report it to anybody. I will talk to my child, as we do all the time, about how it makes the person look. How it is inappropriate and how adults will mess up and be wrong too.

 

I will talk to my child about why we believe you shouldn't use such words. Why you can simply choose other words. Why some people will lose respect for you because you used those words while the people who would GAIN respect for you might not be the type of person you want to be hanging out with as a child. Why you use one of those words and some people will immediately devalue what you are saying because you used that word.

 

I will also look for an opportunity (NOT ASK FOR A MEETING BUT IN A PRIVATE CONVERSATION) to talk to the coach about it. Might take a month or two for that to happen. I will ask him/her (I have known some female coaches that have had a worse mouth than any male coach I have ever been around) what their take of the conversation would have been if I was cussing at them the whole time we talked. And dependent upon their answer, I will ask them what their players are taking from hearing them cuss all the time at practice or games.

 

Sometimes also, the coach may not realize how much they are cussing. I was an assistant on a staff one time and I had a stat chart how many times the head coach used the F bomb. So at halftime when we are going over stats, I tell offensive rebounds, turnovers and "you used the F bomb 13 times in the first 16 minutes when you were talking to the players." He was amazed and dumbfounded that he used it that much.

I am a coach, and I feel that not only is it unprofessional it also reveals that you as a coach have no better/more intelligent way to express yourself. I used to swear constantly, and I realized that kids will use my ill-behavior as justification to use foul language as well...so I stopped before I did damage to their character and my prestige as a coach in their eyes and the eyes of the parents.

 

I couldn't agree more. It has no place in dealing with kids. And as for the kids cursing, I beleive that needs to be dealt with in some manner as well.

You are right in that I do not have bad kids. I have good kids that have made bad, horrible choices. And haven't we all made some bad choices in our lives?

 

And yes, I am tested, but I don't need to cuss at them to handle that. I see cussing as a lack of respect. I will not allow them to cuss at each other and show each other a lack of respect. They do that and I jump in and handle it. I will DEMAND they respect the other students as well as the other students respect them.

 

It might take them awhile to get to that point, but eventually they do.

:thumb: Great post.

Political correctness is really starting to wear me out. As has been stated on here and, I agree doing it all the time is not neccesary,and it does tend to fall on deaf ears. Our head coach seldom uses profanity, but when he does the players know he means business.

 

 

I disagree with you. I don't consider civility and using good manners as political correctness at all. I'm tired of the MTV videos and music that refers to women as ho's and treats them like cattle and that constantly use racially motivated words. I'm tired of men not holding doors for women. I'm tired of people not referring to their elders as "Sir" or "Maam". I'm tired of kids playing music in their cars that can be heard a city block away (and that's with the windows up). And I'm tired of hearing kids on the corner across the street where I live cursing loudly. And unfortunately, a lot of that bad behavior is not only tolerated by adults, we actually engage in it ourselves (well not the loud music stuff:laugh: ), thus re inforcing the behavior as acceptable for our children. Again, its not about being politically correct, its about using good manners and acting in a civil manner. If that makes me an old fogey, then so be it. But there is a lot of truth to the old adages of "I'm not getting older, I'm getting wiser" and "At 18 I thought I knew everthing, but at 38 I realized I knew nothing when I was 18". Face it, as a teenager, most kids have had no real life experiences to really teach them about life. They are young, usually concerned only about what happens to them, and think they are invincible. Later on, with life's lessons learned and real responsibilities upon them, they realize just how naive their thinking was when they were young. As adults, we must do our part to help them on their way to becoming responsible contributors to society. Teaching them civility and manners is part of helping them on their way in my opinion.

I disagree with you. I don't consider civility and using good manners as political correctness at all. I'm tired of the MTV videos and music that refers to women as ho's and treats them like cattle and that constantly use racially motivated words. I'm tired of men not holding doors for women. I'm tired of people not referring to their elders as "Sir" or "Maam". I'm tired of kids playing music in their cars that can be heard a city block away (and that's with the windows up). And I'm tired of hearing kids on the corner across the street where I live cursing loudly. And unfortunately, a lot of that bad behavior is not only tolerated by adults, we actually engage in it ourselves (well not the loud music stuff:laugh: ), thus re inforcing the behavior as acceptable for our children. Again, its not about being politically correct, its about using good manners and acting in a civil manner. If that makes me an old fogey, then so be it. But there is a lot of truth to the old adages of "I'm not getting older, I'm getting wiser" and "At 18 I thought I knew everthing, but at 38 I realized I knew nothing when I was 18". Face it, as a teenager, most kids have had no real life experiences to really teach them about life. They are young, usually concerned only about what happens to them, and think they are invincible. Later on, with life's lessons learned and real responsibilities upon them, they realize just how naive their thinking was when they were young. As adults, we must do our part to help them on their way to becoming responsible contributors to society. Teaching them civility and manners is part of helping them on their way in my opinion.

 

Great Post! Preach it!

I have coached younger kids (12-13 yr olds) in both fooball and basketball. Never once did I use cuss words around my players and since I was a sailor I knew how to use them all. I may have thought them but never used them. I always felt that if a parent allowed me to coach their kids they were allowing me into a part of the childs development.

 

Now that I am a parent of players, I still fell the sameway. I am allowing that coaching staff to help develop a part of my childs life. I am allowing him to take part in the one of the most important parts in my life. By doing this, I am showing great trust in him. I talk to my childrens coaches. I always tell them if they need help, I am there. I feel that I don't have to cuss to motivate my kids at home to do their homework or chores, so a coach shouldn't either because I have become small part of his staff when he is trusted with my child. Trust me my kids would rather be playing a sport than doing chores. I am much harder on them than any coach ever has been because that is my respsonsibility.

 

But I do understand that sometimes things slip out in the heat of the moment. I think it's a 15 yd penalty for unsportsmanlike conduct for cussing on the field, is it the same on the coach being on the sideline?

I disagree with you. I don't consider civility and using good manners as political correctness at all. I'm tired of the MTV videos and music that refers to women as ho's and treats them like cattle and that constantly use racially motivated words. I'm tired of men not holding doors for women. I'm tired of people not referring to their elders as "Sir" or "Maam". I'm tired of kids playing music in their cars that can be heard a city block away (and that's with the windows up). And I'm tired of hearing kids on the corner across the street where I live cursing loudly. And unfortunately, a lot of that bad behavior is not only tolerated by adults, we actually engage in it ourselves (well not the loud music stuff:laugh: ), thus re inforcing the behavior as acceptable for our children. Again, its not about being politically correct, its about using good manners and acting in a civil manner. If that makes me an old fogey, then so be it. But there is a lot of truth to the old adages of "I'm not getting older, I'm getting wiser" and "At 18 I thought I knew everthing, but at 38 I realized I knew nothing when I was 18". Face it, as a teenager, most kids have had no real life experiences to really teach them about life. They are young, usually concerned only about what happens to them, and think they are invincible. Later on, with life's lessons learned and real responsibilities upon them, they realize just how naive their thinking was when they were young. As adults, we must do our part to help them on their way to becoming responsible contributors to society. Teaching them civility and manners is part of helping them on their way in my opinion.

AMEN!

Although I may not like it, I have no major problems with cussing by a coach of high school age kids in general, it is a part of everyday society and some people curse and some don't. High school age kids understand that.

 

Name calling, berrating or ridiculing a kid is another issue, especially if profanity is thrown in the mix.

 

On the other hand, coaches of middle school or younger age kids should not use profane or vulgar language at all, IMO. I can't imagine a coaching using the type of language as described above to a group of 8 year olds and it being acceptable. Adults involved in youth leagues need to be held accountable to a certain standard and that standard has to be set higher than that.

 

I feel the same way, and I assumed we were all talking about high school coaching.