To teach your son that women are nothing more than trophies -- mere objects to be attained -- sends them a very dangerous message.

 

:thumb:

And that is really very sad. No parent should encourage their child to have illicit sexual relations with anyone. They should be teaching them values: faith, love, caring, responsibility and commitment. To teach your son that women are nothing more than trophies -- mere objects to be attained -- sends them a very dangerous message. It's a message that will lead them to a life of emptiness, loneliness and pain. And the damage isn't just limited to the son; it spreads like a virus to every woman with whom he tries to form a bond, and every child he brings into this world.

 

The mentality that "it's a guy thing," is a big reason there are so many broken homes today. Selfishness is not a guy thing. Irresponsibility is not a guy thing. Emotionless sex is not a guy thing. There's no need for any double standards...if you have one solid standard. And as much fun as it is to joke around about such things, in the real world, with real kids, it's anything but funny.

 

Best post on BGP in months. :thumb:

While the action by the teacher is wrong, she should know better, I will agree with those of you that the boy in questions bares some responsibility as well. Its not as if he is 12, he was 17/18. I dont want to hear the arguement about "she had authority over him" He was old enough to know right and wrong. (now in his eyes, maybe it wasn't wrong)

 

Look at it this way, say she had gotten pregnant by him, would we say that he doesn't have responsibility for the child, even though he is the father because she had authority over him?

Wow, what a thread. Rarely have I actually laughed out loud while reading BGP. 85Bears’s post has to be a classic, albeit in an odd, honest, and somewhat distorted sort of way.

I won't apologize for my sense of humor. I have a very ornery sense of humor and believe it or not it takes a whole lot to offend me. I will admittedly laugh at almost anything if it strikes me as funny. I am on the far opposite end of politically correct. I have to make that clear.

 

I admittedly have a lot of the same feelings on the issue as 85 does. How I handle the situation if it was any of my kids would be entirely different for all three of them. Especially with my daughter regardless of her age. I have taught my sons to love and treat all women with respect. With my older son I have let him know the many complications that arise when sex gets involved. At 17-18 years of age he is making his own decisions when it comes to women and sex. Depending on how he is affected if he was having sex with a teacher would determine my course of action. Every situation is different and every situation has a different set of emotions. If I am a trophy dad because of that then so be it. My kids know that when I am needed in any aspect that I will appropriately fix the situation and at the end of the day whether we are laughing about it, mad about it or sad about it we will reach the solution that we are all searching to reach. At the end of the day my family's well being is on me and that is what I live and work for.

Totally agree. Is it possible that there is any correlation between the rather cavalier attitude toward sex that I've read in posts from 92 and 85 and the fact that 72% of black children are fatherless and frankly are having all kinds of problems? 72 Percent of African-American Children Born to Unwed Mothers

 

From what I know about 92 and concluded from his posts, he is a loving and caring father. Major kudos to him. But I still wonder if there is any correlation.

 

There could be. All I can do is be the best father to my children that I can be. I was very careless in my younger days but I still have a responsibility to love, care and protect my kids even if they are with their mothers and not with me. It took me longer than it should have to mature and my wife has helped me tremendously. I can't erase what I did in my past but I feel I have done a good job with my kids for them to not repeat my mistakes. Hopefully they won't.

"Trophy dads" are those fathers who would pat their son on the back and congratulate him for have sex with a teacher. These dads see this as a great accomplishment worthy of putting a trophy on the mantel to signify this feat.

 

 

All I know is my wife has a "trophy husband."

 

That's right. I said it.

Come on! She just read the lastest issue of Time, she was just breast feeding him. LOL.

I won't apologize for my sense of humor. I have a very ornery sense of humor and believe it or not it takes a whole lot to offend me. I will admittedly laugh at almost anything if it strikes me as funny. I am on the far opposite end of politically correct. I have to make that clear.

 

I admittedly have a lot of the same feelings on the issue as 85 does. How I handle the situation if it was any of my kids would be entirely different for all three of them. Especially with my daughter regardless of her age. I have taught my sons to love and treat all women with respect. With my older son I have let him know the many complications that arise when sex gets involved. At 17-18 years of age he is making his own decisions when it comes to women and sex. Depending on how he is affected if he was having sex with a teacher would determine my course of action. Every situation is different and every situation has a different set of emotions. If I am a trophy dad because of that then so be it. My kids know that when I am needed in any aspect that I will appropriately fix the situation and at the end of the day whether we are laughing about it, mad about it or sad about it we will reach the solution that we are all searching to reach. At the end of the day my family's well being is on me and that is what I live and work for.

 

Maybe it's because I'm female, but I absolutely abhor double standards. And when I say "absolutely abhor", I mean that prhase is the strongest terms I'm allowed to use on BGP. And for the life of me, I cannot understand the reasons people (especially a lot of men) think it's OK to apply them.

Maybe it's because I'm female, but I absolutely abhor double standards. And when I say "absolutely abhor", I mean that prhase is the strongest terms I'm allowed to use on BGP. And for the life of me, I cannot understand the reasons people (especially a lot of men) think it's OK to apply them.

 

Theoretically, we should all abhor double standards. However, by definition, we do not. Some? Sure. All? No and I bet we could eventually come up with a double standard that you support to some degree.

Theoretically, we should all abhor double standards. However, by definition, we do not. Some? Sure. All? No and I bet we could eventually come up with a double standard that you support to some degree.

 

:popcorn:

Theoretically, we should all abhor double standards. However, by definition, we do not. Some? Sure. All? No and I bet we could eventually come up with a double standard that you support to some degree.

So, how would you react to your son if he were in a similar predicament as what happened at Highlands?

Maybe it's because I'm female, but I absolutely abhor double standards. And when I say "absolutely abhor", I mean that prhase is the strongest terms I'm allowed to use on BGP. And for the life of me, I cannot understand the reasons people (especially a lot of men) think it's OK to apply them.

 

I never said it is okay or that I am right in doing so. I just acknowledge how I feel. It would be easier for me emotionally to have to deal with something with my sons. Seeing or hearing of my daughter being hurt or distraught makes me want to dismiss of the perpetrator in the most legal way possible. Maybe even in an illegal manner for that matter. And that's mainly due to me knowing how vulnerable my daughter is.

I never said it is okay or that I am right in doing so. I just acknowledge how I feel. It would be easier for me emotionally to have to deal with something with my sons. Seeing or hearing of my daughter being hurt or distraught makes me want to dismiss of the perpetrator in the most legal way possible. Maybe even in an illegal manner for that matter. And that's mainly due to me knowing how vulnerable my daughter is.

I agree and totally understand the different feeling about your daughter than your son. I have both a son and a daughter and it's natural to feel more protective toward your daughter. An instinct is probably a better phrasing. However, the pat on the back and the "that's my boy" attitude that 85BearsFan mentioned is a horrible message to send your son. Birdsfan hit the nail on the head in his post about it.

Theoretically, we should all abhor double standards. However, by definition, we do not. Some? Sure. All? No and I bet we could eventually come up with a double standard that you support to some degree.

 

In theory all double standards would be held to the same standard...but, in reality they aren't. When it comes to the matters of adults in authority taking advantage of my child, that's too important to apply a double standard. As a parent, you protect your child. If that child was culpable, they deserve much anger as well. But the comments in this thread indicate anger toward the teacher, and an "atta boy" for the son...with the caveat that if it were a daughter there'd be hell to pay.