After an ugly loss in my high school years in a tournament, we ate at a Texas roadhouse type restaurant. We all come back to the bus and get on, while Coach gets back on a couple minutes after we are all on. He brings one of those big pails with peanuts in them and stands at the front of the bus and says, "Guys, I picked you all up some nuts, I thought you might need them cuz we sure dont have any."

Son, you are so weak, you couldnt bust your way out of a wet paper bag!

 

I told my post kid one time who wouldnt shoot the ball in the paint:

Son, I cant get you the ball any closer to the basket without putting you in it, now shoot the ball.

You couldn't guard a water bucket!!

 

Playing defense like your stealing hub caps.

 

Running like your tip toeing in the daisies.

 

You would be illegal in 7 states.

You couldnt guard him with a ten foot pole.

 

You cant hold him even if you had a rope.

Get a saddle, he's been riding him all night!

Heard this good one. A coach was putting in a player that rarely ever played and thought he'd fire him up before he went in. So he says as he's running to check in, "Get out there and get rambunctious!!" The player runs onto the floor and then streaks back over to the bench and says, "What number is he?"

I coach a 7th grade middle school team. I'm high strung, but I've only been T'd up once in 3 season. I understand how to work an official somewhat for a 24 year old, but I don't know all the secrets yet.

 

The one technical I recieved was last season. My player was thrown to the ground by an opposing player infront of the opposing teams bench. The ref proceeded to call the foul on my player who was laying on the ground.

 

I quickly walked to the bench where my player slowly got off the floor. As I'm standing infront of the opposing teams bench I proceed to let the official hear how bad he is.

 

"You haven't made a correct call all night" I yelled. He tells me

"Calm Down Coach".

My line is "Your so darn bad you haven't even given me a technical yet for yelling at you in front of the other teams bench!!!"

 

He turned to the scorers table and flashed the T. I looked at him and said "Finally you got one right".

 

He didn't even have the gutz to give me another for the smart comment.

I will personally eat your babies if you don't end up getting your head out of your .... in the second half... It made me laught, but also scared me at the same time.

Seen Bobby Knight interviewed years ago about another school being investigated, he told the reporter as only Knight could,

"People have a hard enough time remembering the 10 Commandments, how are they suppose to remember all the rules of the NCAA"

 

Love him or Loathe him, he is still a classic

Jerry Glanville who was I believe coaching the Atlanta Falcons at the time once told a rookie official that the NFL stood for "Not For Long" the way he was calling. LOL!!!!!!

Heard this good one. A coach was putting in a player that rarely ever played and thought he'd fire him up before he went in. So he says as he's running to check in, "Get out there and get rambunctious!!" The player runs onto the floor and then streaks back over to the bench and says, "What number is he?"

 

:laugh:

Asst. Coach- Coach that kid ain't bad.

Head Coach- Ain't bad will get you a** kicked

The best story and I am repeating, was the coach who told his player to go and guard the ref. The ref asked him what he was doing and the player told the ref that the coach said to guard you. The player wouldnt' quit, so the ref called a T. The ref then went to the coach and asked him what he was doing, and the coach said, "I told him to guard you because you were the only one beating us!":banana:

Must have been @ Clay County back in the day...:lol:

A player is closely guarding a ballhandler and is pretty much riding him all over the court. Finally the ref calls the foul and the player looks at the coach as if he has done nothing wrong. The coach tells him "You could get put in jail for that in most states but you just got a foul in this one!"

To the kid that is extremely gifted athletically but can't seem to be in the right place on the floor and makes mental mistake after mental mistake............"Son, you're like a Cadillac without a Driver"