I had a college coach that called time out and told us "You guys are pretty bad, you haven't scored a point since the last one".:dancingpa

Jim Valvano has the all time greatest line in basketball -

 

In the middle of his run to the NCAA championship with NC State, he calls time out during one game in the tournament, and instead of going to the huddle to talk to his team, he approaches the ref:

 

Valvano: "Can you give me a technical foul for what I'm thinking?"

 

Ref: "Come on Coach - you know I can't T you up for what you're thinking".

 

Valvano: "GREAT - cause I think you suck".

 

 

Absolute classic.

 

 

Loved it! I had forgotten about this one. :laugh:

I love this one!

When Valvano was hired at NC State, the AD told him I have good news and bad news: we were 5-20 last year but we have everyone back. Valvano asked, "What's the good news".

Woody Hayes ran the score up against Michigan. When up by a whole bunch near the end of the game, he had the Buckeyes go for two. When asked, why he went for two he quipped, "because I couldn't go for three".

When I was in High School i played for a pretty rough coach . After a very embarissing loss to a team that was winless, we had a very long quiet ride home. When we arrived at are school our coach said he would see us at practice in 10 min. Let me remind you this is at 10:30 pm . When we came out of the locker room he was standing there with 8 rolls of toilet paper ( there were 8 of us on the team) He threw each of us a roll of T.P. and said:"HERE CLEAN YOURSELFS UP YOU PPLAYED LIKE S#&% TONIGHT." Then for the next half hour we ran around the gym with the Toilet paper above our heads chanting WE STINK . Those were the good ol days.

I started to make a comment to Coach with "Coach, I was thinking...". He cut me off and said "don't do it son, everytime you think the team gets dumber".

Coach to his player...You are so slow it would take you 2 hours to watch 60 minutes..:lol:

A coach told a player, You are so slow, I bet you have to get up at 6 o'clock to take a dump by 7.

Coach to his player...You are so slow it would take you 2 hours to watch 60 minutes..:lol:

I like that one.:lol:

It's obvious why we aren't winning. Our shorts are too long and our shots are too wide.

 

Basketball is America's favorite running sport. Number two is avoiding child support payments.

 

College basketball exists out of necessity. If there were no basketball, it would be necessary for the players to go to class.

 

I can remember the old days of basketball----when they shot the ball up at the basket, not down into it.

 

I play in the Over 50 Basketball League. We don't have jump balls. The ref just puts the ball on the floor, and whoever can bend over and pick it up gets possession.

 

The Final Four sounds like the number of dollars in OJ's bank account.

I once heard a coach of mine tell a teammate that he was so lazy he couldn't even pick crap w/the chickens!!

 

Another time the same coach told a teammate that over the course of several had been missing a lot of lay-ups and easy baskets that the "Way he was blowing those lay-ups he shouild go join the band and blow on a tuba."

 

I also overheard a very good coach one time say he wanted his girls team to "play defense like wild camanches!" It was in the middle of a heated game during a timeout, it was perfect!

These are funny, but PLEASE keep in mind BGP Rule #8, which prohibits even the suggestion of profanity or the using of symbols to avoid the word filter.

"You all couldnt beat a good girls team" . This was said while we was up 17 at half to a team that hadnt won a game all season. That is high expectations.

He also went on and stated "i could beat them by myself, i would already be up 25 and sittin on the bench, not a one of u have the **** i got"

I heard a local coach in our district while loudly ranting and raving at his girls team declare " you are the worst coached team in the world" It was the first statement that he had made all night that I agreed with.

 

Needless to say they lost the game.

Bobby Knight

 

If the NBA were on channel 5 and a bunch of frogs making love were on channel 4, I'd watch the frogs, even if they were coming in fuzzy.

 

I don't think I have ever been out of control.

 

If I didn't know where that chair was going, it would have hit somebody.

 

Everyone wants to be on a winning team,but no one wants to come to practice