I also attend a SBC. Every church is different and holding forums like your church did was a good way to get it out in the open. Like someone posted "because she left he nows loses his position". My wife's brother is a Pastor and the same thing happen to him. He had to leave the church because he said "the church comes first and he didn't want to cause a split". He is now a Pastor at a smaller church but it is a part-time position.

 

It depends on the church. I could see him staying and wouldn't have a problem with it myself. I'm also divorced and cannot be a Deacon and I accept that decision, but feel like its wrong. I feel for the Pastor and would love to speak with him. having it happen to our family member I've learned a lot. 1st Samual 16:7 says "man looks at the outward apperance, God looks at our heart".

Which lends credence to the Catholic belief that Priests remain unmarried. They are expected to be married to the Church.

 

Which leads me to the question, a woman who marries a man who's a pastor, or becomes a pastor, should expect to be second, shouldn't she? Isn't the highest calling to lead a flock?

The one ironic view of the Catholic belief is that Peter, the supposed first Pope, was married.

In the literally hundreds of divorces I have been involved with, I have yet to come across even a single one where there was not at least some fault to be placed at the feet of both spouses.

 

With this I totally agree. I once heard an evangelist say a pastor must have his priorities straight.

 

1 - God First

2 - Wife Second

3 - Kids/family/parents Third

4 - Church Fourth

 

he believed that God and church were not equivalent and if you neglect your family and let that get out of balance, it will then effect your abilitiy to lead a church. Keep your priorities balanced and the rest will fall in order.

I agree with your illustration. But, is it the pastor's fault if the woman decides she can't do it, and wants out of the marriage? Does that make him any less able to lead his congregation? (Assuming he lead an upright life as a married man).

 

I wasn't trying to address the question of the pastor being divorced...I was just stating that I think all believers, not just pastors, should place God first in their life, which means spouse by default is no higher than #2.

 

As for the question of this thread, it's a tough one. Personally, I would not have a problem with him remaining the pastor...like you, it's hard for me to hold him at fault and punish him when it's the wife that wants the divorce and won't work things out. There's nothing he can do in that situation. This is assuming there aren't any other questionable things about the pastor...I'm making the assumption that he's a good man that happens to have a wife who wants a divorce and won't reconcile. If the church likes him and has been pleased with him, I don't think they should oust him.

With this I totally agree. I once heard an evangelist say a pastor must have his priorities straight.

 

1 - God First

2 - Wife Second

3 - Kids/family/parents Third

4 - Church Fourth

 

he believed that God and church were not equivalent and if you neglect your family and let that get out of balance, it will then effect your abilitiy to lead a church. Keep your priorities balanced and the rest will fall in order.

 

 

Excellent post! I believe this is exactly what the Bible says for men and women! If men and women lived according to the Bible as far as the Word goes marriages would be perfect! "Women submit yourselves unto your own husbands" "Husbands love your wive as christ also loved the Church"

 

I believe one of the biggest problems for Pastors is sometimes they do put the church before their families. God 1st, families 2nd , church 3rd

Pastors wives are like coaches wives. A good wife realizes their husband's job is a hard one and she has certain duties that helps him, more for a Pastor's wife. I've had some Pastor's who wives were really helpful with his ministry compared to the ones who didn't show much interest. I wonder how many women just don't want to be a Pastor's wife any longer and leave the marriage. That was our case with my Brother-In -Law.