Divorced Pastor

[rockmom]

So...what you're saying is that if a man can't keep a wife, he can't be an effective leader of a spiritual flock? :confused:

[5wide]

So...what you're saying is that if a man can't keep a wife, he can't be an effective leader of a spiritual flock? :confused:

 

I think the Bible says it, not HHSDad.

[HHSDad]

So...what you're saying is that if a man can't keep a wife, he can't be an effective leader of a spiritual flock? :confused:

If that woman is the woman from verse 11, then the answer is yes, that's what I'm saying. I don't think I Timothy 3 is saying that he has to have a wife, but if he does...

 

This happens far more often than you would think. I know personally two pastors who didn't take care of business at home and their churches suffered greatly. Hearsay mentioned Charles Stanley, who was a perfect example of a pastor neglecting his wife and family because he thought he was married to the church.

[rockmom]

If that woman is the woman from verse 11, then the answer is yes, that's what I'm saying. I don't think I Timothy 3 is saying that he has to have a wife, but if he does...

 

This happens far more often than you would think. I know personally two pastors who didn't take care of business at home and their churches suffered greatly. Hearsay mentioned Charles Stanley, who was a perfect example of a pastor neglecting his wife and family because he thought he was married to the church.

 

Which lends credence to the Catholic belief that Priests remain unmarried. They are expected to be married to the Church.

 

Which leads me to the question, a woman who marries a man who's a pastor, or becomes a pastor, should expect to be second, shouldn't she? Isn't the highest calling to lead a flock?

[rockmom]

I think the Bible says it, not HHSDad.

 

True...but not all divorces are the result of the man doing something wrong.

 

(I know...it shocks some of you that I'm not the feminazi you thought I was. )

[Oldbird]

I understand and respect all that has been said here from some very sincere individuals.

 

Personally if I were put in this situation and had to make a choice I would rather error on the side of extending grace towards this person/pastor/leader than on the side trying to uphold the letter of the law. However, there are valid reasons for people to disagree with me and I fully admit that.

 

 

LBBC: So I won't threadjack this thread, another interesting church post (at least for me) would be whether a congregational form of church government is Biblical (or even effective)

[HHSDad]

Which lends credence to the Catholic belief that Priests remain unmarried. They are expected to be married to the Church.

I understand the Council's motivation in the 4th century and their scriptural reference, but I disagree with their canon declaring clerical celibacy to be mandatory as being either needed or desirable.

Which leads me to the question, a woman who marries a man who's a pastor, or becomes a pastor, should expect to be second, shouldn't she? Isn't the highest calling to lead a flock?

I think the only thing that a wife of a pastor should expect is that she will play a larger role in her church. I don't believe that the Bible calls for a pastor to be any less husband than the doctor, teacher or baker. I will say that I think its important for a minister and spouse to be more equally "yoked" than most couples. They have to be in agreement to enter the ministry field and should be of like spiritual maturity.

[Hearsay]

True...but not all divorces are the result of the man doing something wrong.

 

(I know...it shocks some of you that I'm not the feminazi you thought I was. )

 

In the literally hundreds of divorces I have been involved with, I have yet to come across even a single one where there was not at least some fault to be placed at the feet of both spouses.

[HHSDad]

Personally if I were put in this situation and had to make a choice I would rather error on the side of extending grace towards this person/pastor/leader than on the side trying to uphold the letter of the law. However, there are valid reasons for people to disagree with me and I fully admit that.

And thank you for reminding me that people make mistakes. In our deliberations, while considering the positives and negatives of one's case, we must never forget to consider mercy and grace.

 

I thought I swore off posting in religion threads.

[rockmom]

In the literally hundreds of divorces I have been involved with, I have yet to come across even a single one where there was not at least some fault to be placed at the feet of both spouses.

 

I agree, but it is possible that one party was truly blamless. I'm not saying probable, just possible.

 

It's also true that in some cases, even though there is fault on the part of both parties, one party may want to work through the issues, and the other just wants out.

[rockmom]

I understand the Council's motivation in the 4th century and their scriptural reference, but I disagree with their canon declaring clerical celibacy to be mandatory as being either needed or desirable.

I think the only thing that a wife of a pastor should expect is that she will play a larger role in her church. I don't believe that the Bible calls for a pastor to be any less husband than the doctor, teacher or baker. I will say that I think its important for a minister and spouse to be more equally "yoked" than most couples. They have to be in agreement to enter the ministry field and should be of like spiritual maturity.

 

The only thing I'll say to this, is that unlike other occupations (and sometimes a pastor is one with dual occupations), their "business" isn't confined to the 9-5. The closest comparison, IMO is occupation of physician. But even then, these days there's an "on-call" person.

[5wide]

Which lends credence to the Catholic belief that Priests remain unmarried. They are expected to be married to the Church.

 

Which leads me to the question, a woman who marries a man who's a pastor, or becomes a pastor, should expect to be second, shouldn't she? Isn't the highest calling to lead a flock?

 

As believers, God is supposed to be #1 in our life, so I think the wife (or husband) of any believer (pastor or not) should expect to be second.

 

An illustration I saw once was a triangle with husband and wife as the two bases and God in the top center...the closer the husband and wife came to God, the closer they got to each other...

 

Just a thought.

[rockmom]

As believers, God is supposed to be #1 in our life, so I think the wife (or husband) of any believer (pastor or not) should expect to be second.

 

An illustration I saw once was a triangle with husband and wife as the two bases and God in the top center...the closer the husband and wife came to God, the closer they got to each other...

 

Just a thought.

 

I agree with your illustration. But, is it the pastor's fault if the woman decides she can't do it, and wants out of the marriage? Does that make him any less able to lead his congregation? (Assuming he lead an upright life as a married man).

[HHSDad]

I agree with your illustration. But, is it the pastor's fault if the woman decides she can't do it, and wants out of the marriage? Does that make him any less able to lead his congregation? (Assuming he lead an upright life as a married man).

I've heard many a pastor say that a husband isn't called to ministry, the couple is called. I don't think God would be mad if a man left the ministry to save his marriage.

[rockmom]

I've heard many a pastor say that a husband isn't called to ministry, the couple is called. I don't think God would be mad if a man left the ministry to save his marriage.

 

Interesting....

 

I'm not sure how I'd feel about a pastor who abandoned his congregation...To me, ministry is more than a "job". It's a calling. I don't feel one should abandon one's calling. There are too many other lives involved.