My dad has a saying along the same lines:

 

"He's tighter than Dick's hatband..."

 

Makes zero sense to me, but I have picked it up over the years. :lol:

Here's one of Foghorn Leghorn's good ones: "Miss Prissy is like the road between Fort Worth and Dallas...no curves".

"I wouldn't wait in that line, even if they were giving money away."

Look at you, looking at me, looking at you.

Heard on a jobsite on Friday: "It's hotter than the hinges hanging off the gates of hell."

I'm so broke i can't even pay attention.

It is the same difference.

six of one kind, half dozen of the other

Tighter than 2 coats of paint....

Lower than a Snakes Belly......

Tighter than 2 coats of paint....

 

I've always liked that one.

Good from afar, but far from good.

Slower than a red blood cell trying to navigate its way through Rosie O'Donnell's aorta.

Probably the most country girl I know is from Leslie County. She has a ton of them but my favorite is:

 

"I'm so hungry I could eat the south end of a northbound bull."

Tighter than 2 coats of paint....

 

Good one. So tight, won't give ya daylight through a keyhole.

He has a full six pack, but lacks that plastic thingy that holds them together.