September 21, 201214 yr Heard one last night that I liked: "Running like a scalded dog." A couple more I haven't seen yet on here: "It's raining like a cow [peeing] on a flat rock." Translation: It's raining hard. "She couldn't carry a tune in a 5 gallon bucket." Translation: She doesn't sing well. "About as useful as teats on a boar hog." Translation: Something is pretty useless.
September 22, 201214 yr Couldn't hit the broad side of a barn. Can't throw it in the ocean. Happy as a pig in slop
September 22, 201214 yr That kid is so bad at ball "they can't play dead in a Western." Sexier than socks on a rooster.
September 22, 201214 yr Couple of favorites, usually used in tandem: "Take hold" of that there wrench. (Can often sound like "take holt") "Turn loose" of that there wrench.
September 22, 201214 yr Hornier than a 10 point buck. Richer than 4 feet up a bull's hind end. Sent from my iPhone
September 22, 201214 yr Anytime my father in law catches my mother in law bending over for something he will sneak up behind her and poke her in the rear end with his index finger and loudly proclaim "Two quarts low and dirty". This always pisses her off greatly. LOL Sent from my iPhone
September 23, 201214 yr Anytime my father in law catches my mother in law bending over for something he will sneak up behind her and poke her in the rear end with his index finger and loudly proclaim "Two quarts low and dirty". This always pisses her off greatly. LOL Sent from my iPhone Your father-in-law would do no such thing. lol
September 23, 201214 yr Measure twice, cut once. Better to receive forgiveness than to ask for permission. Hotter than a $1.00 'girl' on Friday night. You can always tell a Dutchman, but you can't tell him much. Why fart and waste it when you can burp and taste it. If you are fishing for trouble, you better bring a big bucket.
September 23, 201214 yr Anytime my father in law catches my mother in law bending over for something he will sneak up behind her and poke her in the rear end with his index finger and loudly proclaim "Two quarts low and dirty". This always pisses her off greatly. LOL Sent from my iPhone I just did a spit take reading this!
September 23, 201214 yr Tighter than 8 and 9. "Always remember, and never forget.." when giving advice or an important instruction. Picked it up from a movie or TV show as a kid. Solid. "Shall I alert the media." When someone makes a proclamation to me that I find pretty ordinary. Taken from Arthur.
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