I can still hear my dad say " do it right the first time or don't do it at all".

I can still hear my dad say " do it right the first time or don't do it at all".

 

I can still hear my Dad say, "Son, if you had a brain, you'd take it out and play with it."

I always heard "sweating like a prostitute in church".

 

Hungrier than a French prostitute.

 

More nervous than a cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

That car passed me faster pay car would a tramp.

Colder than a mother-in laws love.

My father when talking about a young woman of dubious reputation...

"She was wild enough to shoot at..."

 

Another one--

"Wilder than Cootie Brown" (not sure if Cootie Brown is an actual person, or not)

 

When it is very chilly outside--

"It's colder'n a well-digger's butt"

 

My grandma whenever anything surprised her--

"Well, I declare..." (this came out like ideee-clare)

There have already been several listed that I have heard used and/or used myself so here are some others.........(with some words substituted for th actual used of course,lol"

 

"He couldn't hit a bull in the butt with a bass fiddle"

"If it's worth doing, it's worth doing right"

"That was about as funny as a chapped butt in a windstorm"

"He/she could eat a ear of corn thru a picket fence", referring to teeth/ dental problem

"Busier than a one legged waitress at the I-Hop"

"Happier than Rossanne Barr at an all you can eat buffet"

 

and this one is my favorite...."Wish in one hand and crap in the other and see which one fills up first"

Edited February 14, 201115 yr by oldrambler

When talking to some and they say you were wrong but you know you were talking about the same thing:

 

It is the same difference.

“Even a blind squirrel finds a nut in the woods every once in a while”

Slower than smoke off of a cow pile on a cold morning.

"She'd drive a wooden man crazy"

"It's hotter than blue blazes"

"Well I'll be a suck-egg mule" (an old guy I used to play golf would say this after a bad shot)

"I got my ta-warge all wrong" (a golfing buddy says this after he misreads a putt)

"He's as crooked as a dog's hind leg"

"If his brain was gun powder he couldn't blow his nose"

"I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw a bull by the tail"

"A drop of sweat from him would cure cancer"

Cool beans.

“Even a blind squirrel finds a nut in the woods every once in a while”

 

Did you get that one from BF ? :popcorn:

I always heard "sweating like a prostitute in church".

 

I have heard "sweating like a pregnant nun."

Hotter than 2 rats in a wool sock.