I don't agree with taking playing time away from kid because of his parent's poor behavior. Unfortunately, a coach rarely hears the comments unless it is directed at him/her so it seems difficult to have coach address the situation unless the player comes to him about it. I agree that as parents of other players on the team, it may be our responsibility to address the unruly parent, but you almost never see this happen. So inevitably, this parent continues the behavior and it becomes a true distraction. This situation stinks because the parent who is negative will generally rub off on the son/daughter and make it more difficult for the coaches to create a true team atmosphere.

It took me two years of getting worked up at 5th grade games to finally look in the mirror and realize it does no good. Its been 4 yrs and I have to say I enjoy watching my son much better by just chilling out and yelling out encouraging words. The response you get is amazing.

 

I see this too many times and have even seen parents race to the tunnel at halftime of football games to yell instructions to their kids and sometimes those instructions are against team play and what the coach is trying to do. Its ridiculous !!!

 

I agree with you 100 percent.

A kid's playing time should be a result of his talent and hard work, not a result of the parent's behavior. No only WILL you be penalizing this kid, you might be penalizing the rest of his/her team from what this kid brings to the table, thus him/her playing in the first place and not sitting the bench.

 

I've been a basketball book keeper and football statistician for many years. I've heard all kinds of things being said by parents/uncles/grandmas/etc from the stands. When it comes to those people yelling at their player, I've known coaches to talk to the yeller one on one (first step, in my opinion) and that always stops it. I've seen other instances where 'fans' were yelling other things and our principal has called that individual and let them know in no uncertain terms that their behavior will no longer be tolerated and giving them an ultimatum. That's worked in all but one case and in that instance, the parent was banned for the rest of the year. Had he shown up, he would have been escorted back out by a law enforcement official.

 

Again, the best thing to do is talk to the parent one on one after the incident. We should never blackmail a parent by punishing his/her child.

 

Very well said. :ylsuper:

Well, if we've met then I'll back off. There are probably better ways, but I'm just a hard butt. The coach has to be made aware and have a conversation. Somewhere playing time has to come into play. Maybe that is last. It's too bad though that this is an issue. Coaches and players have enough to think about.

 

If you would like to know where we met just send me a pm.

 

Thanks for making this a discussion and not any type of argument. :thumb:

A kid's playing time should be a result of his talent and hard work, not a result of the parent's behavior. No only WILL you be penalizing this kid, you might be penalizing the rest of his/her team from what this kid brings to the table, thus him/her playing in the first place and not sitting the bench.

 

I've been a basketball book keeper and football statistician for many years. I've heard all kinds of things being said by parents/uncles/grandmas/etc from the stands. When it comes to those people yelling at their player, I've known coaches to talk to the yeller one on one (first step, in my opinion) and that always stops it. I've seen other instances where 'fans' were yelling other things and our principal has called that individual and let them know in no uncertain terms that their behavior will no longer be tolerated and giving them an ultimatum. That's worked in all but one case and in that instance, the parent was banned for the rest of the year. Had he shown up, he would have been escorted back out by a law enforcement official.

 

Again, the best thing to do is talk to the parent one on one after the incident. We should never blackmail a parent by punishing his/her child.

 

Great post! :thumb:

Broadcasting games, you would be amazed what the mic hears. Parents like this should be removed. End of story. In doing the 8th region games in the past where the attendance isn't that great at some games, it really becomes a distraction. Not only for the players, but everyone else in the gym.

 

I agree. Administration is supossed to be on site to help with logistics and police the crowd, and this type of stuff should not be tolerated. I know our administration doesnt put up with it, if they hear it your removed. A kids playing time should almost never be determinded by their parents actions. (There are a few exceptions I can think of.) Its ashame today that some of kids are better behaved than their parents.

There's been a lot of good points for possible answers. I agree, that if things continue to escalate, then perhaps a banning of that parent may need to occur. However, I think things would rarely get to this point in time if the coach establishes his "rules" in the preseason, both with the kids AND the parents.

 

And, I have no problem in telling the both of them what is expected in the upcoming season. Whether that be in regards to riding the team bus after games, or game day attire for the kids, to signed permission slips, or bleacher etiquette for the parents. Here are the rules....here are the repercussions if you break them. That way things are set up in advance...no one particular player/parent is being singled out...and all you have to do is enforce them.

 

I think in many instances, coaches (and administration) become too re-active...which can draw some harsh criticism...as opposed to being pro-active. I think a lot of potential problems could be completely eliminated if that was the case. I've heard of a well respected high school baseball coach doing this, and has had one instance in 18 years or so. And if I remember correctly, it happened in his first year, and once everybody realized he was serious about it....no problems since. And I don't think any of his kids would consider themselves "blackmailed" in playing under him. Just my opinion.

Broadcasting games, you would be amazed what the mic hears. Parents like this should be removed. End of story. In doing the 8th region games in the past where the attendance isn't that great at some games, it really becomes a distraction. Not only for the players, but everyone else in the gym.

 

Although I understand your point, I don't think this problem is an "8th region" thing...

Said parents should be forced to watch that scene from the original Bad News Bears when the kid hangs onto the ball...

I can't tell you how many gifted players I've seen quit a sport (or sports) because of their parents' behavior.

 

I've seen it happen too.

 

 

It is amazing what parents say, whether it is ridiculing the coach or their own child.

 

 

 

I have a hard time believing that.^

 

 

The simplest thing a coach can do is tell them once. If they do it again tell them that if they are seen in the stands that their son will not play.

 

Trust me it works, especially if you are known for being honest and upfront as a coach.

 

After telling the parent one time I have never had the issue come up again with that parent. This goes for youth and high school.

Parents are sometimes out of hand. From screaming at the referees, to yelling at their own kids (or even others), to yelling at the coach, to blaming anyone and everyone else for failure and absolutely making a fool out of themselves and embarssing others, some parents just dont support the team anymore.

I think each parent should go through some type of training on sportsmanship or "how to act as a parent." If they dont attend the training their child does not play. Any problems during the season they are kicked out and not allowed back. Zero tolerance policy. I believe they may do something like this in Florida. I thought the state of Florida may start a national trend a couple years ago but that doesnt appear to have happened.

I have a hard time believing that.^

 

 

The simplest thing a coach can do is tell them once. If they do it again tell them that if they are seen in the stands that their son will not play.

 

Trust me it works, especially if you are known for being honest and upfront as a coach.

 

After telling the parent one time I have never had the issue come up again with that parent. This goes for youth and high school.

I've been trying to tell them this works. Every time. No issues.

I hate this. A parents always got to try to be positive IMO. Most players would enjoy "team" basketball if not for the pressure the parents put on the kids.

I have a hard time believing that.^

 

 

The simplest thing a coach can do is tell them once. If they do it again tell them that if they are seen in the stands that their son will not play.

 

Trust me it works, especially if you are known for being honest and upfront as a coach.

 

After telling the parent one time I have never had the issue come up again with that parent. This goes for youth and high school.

 

I agree with you DD about being upfront with the parents from Day 1. I call it my "Come to Jesus Meeting" when I spell out expectations for the kids and the parents before we have our first practice. It's the best - IMO only - way to handle it. I've been blessed to have very few issues - even on all-star teams, where the subs' parents have to adjust to Little Johnny sitting for the first time all season - but even straightforward talk upfront doesn't always prevent the behavior. Some parents simply can't control themselves.

 

I gave my little talk this past spring before my Little League baseball season (9 & 10 year olds, mind you), knowing full well that one of the dads had a reputation for being "over the top". I even had a special one-on-one with that particular dad. All seemed well at first...he was very quiet at the games. I should have suspected he was being too quiet... His son pitched for me...about 5 or 6 games into the season, we couldn't figure out why his son - who had remarkable control for his age - was bombing on the mound. Then we caught dad standing way behind the backstop sending him pitching signals while he was on the mound, frequently countermanding the coaches' signals(!)

 

After every game, the dad would take the kid aside and basically berate him for any and all real and imagined shortcomings the kid exhibited during the game...

 

None of us were terribly surprised when the kid - who also batted better when dad wasn't present - turned DOWN an invitation to play on one of our all-star teams. Playing was simply too much of a chore for him...

 

As for kids quitting because of their own parents...I can assure you that it happens...furthermore, I can assure you that it happens far more than it should. Not sure about AHSPanther's experiences, but mine have come at the youth sports level...up to age 16... I've been coaching basketball and baseball for about 10 years each...and I have seen SEVERAL kids quit the game because it became too much of a job... Mom and/or dad simply made the games sheer misery for them. I could name you countless kids who simply performed better when their parents weren't at the game...and so many of those kids quit their sport before they reached HS because their parents had burned them out. The game just wasn't a game anymore, because it was no fun listening to the people you love scream at you from the stands.

 

IMO, that's the greatest tragedy of all resulting from the screaming parent. The coaches are adults; most coaches can handle it or they wouldn't be coaching. Officials are paid to be able to ignore loudmouths. But it's different when it's your mom or dad...

 

As for kids quitting because of their own parents...I can assure you that it happens...furthermore, I can assure you that it happens far more than it should. Not sure about AHSPanther's experiences, but mine have come at the youth sports level...up to age 16... I've been coaching basketball and baseball for about 10 years each...and I have seen SEVERAL kids quit the game because it became too much of a job... Mom and/or dad simply made the games sheer misery for them. I could name you countless kids who simply performed better when their parents weren't at the game...and so many of those kids quit their sport before they reached HS because their parents had burned them out. The game just wasn't a game anymore, because it was no fun listening to the people you love scream at you from the stands.

 

IMO, that's the greatest tragedy of all resulting from the screaming parent. The coaches are adults; most coaches can handle it or they wouldn't be coaching. Officials are paid to be able to ignore loudmouths. But it's different when it's your mom or dad...

 

Well said!:thumb:Oh, those screaming parents...