WOW...this thread is pretty intense!

 

Let me say this....there is NO WAY I would ever "paddle" my son the way I was "paddled". My father was a VERY LARGE man with an even bigger temper. When he angered...it wasnt fun. Did it teach me discipline...not sure...but I can tell you this, it taught me resentment. What we received (my brothers and I) would be called paddling by most.

 

Can paddling be a form of discipline? Possibly. It all depends on the person doing it. What kind of self control they have as an individual. My father should have never been allowed to paddle someone. Now I was not abused...I want that to be clear. And someone already stated "paddling" as being on the behind...with what? I can assure you that a tobacco stick to the rear is not pleasant.

 

As far as paddling in the schools...I was a teacher at one time...never touched a student and never needed too. But I can never see any scenario where I would physically discipline anyone else's child.

If you cannot see where a grown adult hitting a defenseless child is wrong, then nothing I can say will be able to explain it. Furthermore, if my judgement of your discipline techniques infuriates you so much, then maybe I have struck a chord with you.

 

My whippings as a child had absolutely no bearing on were I am today. It is an ineffective form of punishment. I have taught and coached in public schools for 12 years. My football team is disciplined and successful and my classroom is disciplined and my students are successful. I don't have to hit them to get them to do what they need to do. There is no way that I would allow a school official to assault my child.

You keep intermingling, whippings, hitting and all these words and there is a vast difference, between whipping and hitting/beating a child.

 

I have no research to back up the claim, that discipline (spankings/scoldings/loss of privileges) serve as a deterrent, to eliminate future problems. You indicated, it didn't have any bearing on where you are today, which may right but you've made a conscious decision, not to discipline with spanking and just perhaps, the reason is you were.

 

You can't conceivably lump all adults into a group of abusers, simply because they choose spanking, any more than we can assume students who struggle with reading, are not intelligent.

Spare the rod, spoil the child. My dad was a great, great man. When I needed a spanking, I got one. There was never a time that I received one, that I didn't deserve. There was never a time that I received one in public. If I misbehaved in public, all my dad had to do was give me that look, and I knew I was in trouble when I got home. My dad was very consistent with his discipline, and I certainly knew what my boundaries and limitations were. My parents raised all three of my siblings the same way, and I can assure you that the four of us are what we are today because of the love and discipline that our parents showed us, and I use the same discipline on my children when they need it. I extend you an open invitation to come visit the ER at the hospital where I work on any given weekend. I can take you room to room of young teenage boys and girls that are either brought in by the police, or their parents for some sort of behavior problem, and you can ask them if they were spanked as a child. You may be surprised at their answers. I know I never am.

 

We had the same parents! :thumb:

I don't spank my kids. I don't put them in 'timeout' either. First off....spankings don't accomplish anything. Eventually kids will either become numb to the physical punishment or will come to the conclusion that whatever mischeif they are wanting to getting mixed up in will far outweigh the few minutes of pain they will endure from a good spanking. It makes sense.....if you want to do something bad enough.....having your backside sting for 10 minutes isn't enough of a deterrent. I also don't make my kid 'sit in the corner and think about what they have done'. What I have found that works is speaking firmly and sternly to my kid and trying to reason with them. It usually turns into a lecture and a kid hates nothing more that have to sit there and have to listen to an adult lecture them. Also, don't think that my talks with my kids are a one sided deal.....they must participate in the discussion and make eye contact with me and my wife when we are talking with them. I don't yell and scream, nor do I call them names, but I do make them take a good hard look at their actions and what affects their behavior and actions have on the situation. You would be amazed at how quick my kids rebound from having a poor attitude or misbehaving to acting like respectful young adults.

 

I know kids are kids, but they don't like to be treated or talked to like they are babies or like they are stupid. They also don't respond too well to physical punishment, either.

Timeout gives a kid timeout to think what they will do wrong next.

 

I am not into hitting a child so that mleaves me with taking toys or other things away they like.

 

My parents beat the crap out of us/me.

Sounds like we have some wires crossed. Beating is in no way, shape or form disciplining a child. That's a problem with the parent, not the child. However, disciplining by a spanking here or there is a problem with the child. I understand that there are extreme cases but for most parents...

I don't spank my kids. I don't put them in 'timeout' either. First off....spankings don't accomplish anything. Eventually kids will either become numb to the physical punishment or will come to the conclusion that whatever mischeif they are wanting to getting mixed up in will far outweigh the few minutes of pain they will endure from a good spanking. It makes sense.....if you want to do something bad enough.....having your backside sting for 10 minutes isn't enough of a deterrent. I also don't make my kid 'sit in the corner and think about what they have done'. What I have found that works is speaking firmly and sternly to my kid and trying to reason with them. It usually turns into a lecture and a kid hates nothing more that have to sit there and have to listen to an adult lecture them. Also, don't think that my talks with my kids are a one sided deal.....they must participate in the discussion and make eye contact with me and my wife when we are talking with them. I don't yell and scream, nor do I call them names, but I do make them take a good hard look at their actions and what affects their behavior and actions have on the situation. You would be amazed at how quick my kids rebound from having a poor attitude or misbehaving to acting like respectful young adults.

 

I know kids are kids, but they don't like to be treated or talked to like they are babies or like they are stupid. They also don't respond too well to physical punishment, either.

 

We must have had different parents. Mom talked to me and I ignored her. Dad spanked me and I listened to him.

Sounds like we have some wires crossed. Beating is in no way, shape or form disciplining a child. That's a problem with the parent, not the child. However, disciplining by a spanking here or there is a problem with the child. I understand that there are extreme cases but for most parents...

 

Maybe, but a lot of people like to call spanking "beating," or "abuse." I personally disagree with that nomenclature. You can raise a kid, not that I ever will, with or without spanking and they will be fine, I just hate when "abuse" and "beating" get bandied around.

Here is another point in this argument. Discipline methods for kids are not some cookie cutter choice. What works well with one kid, could fail miserably for another.

 

So, where Rambackstop talks to his kids and it works, he may have another kid someday that it doesn't work with. And where I spanked my kids, if we would have kept going with the size of our family, I probably would have had a child one day that spanking would have been ineffective.

 

So, if you say your discipline method is fool-proof and works everytime, you just have not had enough children, yet.

Spare the rod, spoil the child. My dad was a great, great man. When I needed a spanking, I got one. There was never a time that I received one, that I didn't deserve. There was never a time that I received one in public. If I misbehaved in public, all my dad had to do was give me that look, and I knew I was in trouble when I got home. My dad was very consistent with his discipline, and I certainly knew what my boundaries and limitations were. My parents raised all three of my siblings the same way, and I can assure you that the four of us are what we are today because of the love and discipline that our parents showed us, and I use the same discipline on my children when they need it. I extend you an open invitation to come visit the ER at the hospital where I work on any given weekend. I can take you room to room of young teenage boys and girls that are either brought in by the police, or their parents for some sort of behavior problem, and you can ask them if they were spanked as a child. You may be surprised at their answers. I know I never am.

 

:thumb::thumb:

It takes a special kind of person to be able to spank and not take it too far.

Justify it however you choose. It is still wrong.

 

In your eyes, not mine, or my fathers or his fathers and quite frankly your way of thinking is what is wrong with America as a whole.

 

You believe what you will and I(and most this board) will believe what I do and as long as YOU do not raise a big stink about the way I discipline MY children everything will be ok.

 

You and your thinking are the reason prayer is not in school, The Ten Commandments are not in public view, and are schools are out of control because of lack of paddling.

The only "time out" I ever got when I was a kid was when my dad was switching from one hand to the other....:lol::lol::lol:

Spare the rod, spoil the child. My dad was a great, great man. When I needed a spanking, I got one. There was never a time that I received one, that I didn't deserve. There was never a time that I received one in public. If I misbehaved in public, all my dad had to do was give me that look, and I knew I was in trouble when I got home. My dad was very consistent with his discipline, and I certainly knew what my boundaries and limitations were. My parents raised all three of my siblings the same way, and I can assure you that the four of us are what we are today because of the love and discipline that our parents showed us, and I use the same discipline on my children when they need it. I extend you an open invitation to come visit the ER at the hospital where I work on any given weekend. I can take you room to room of young teenage boys and girls that are either brought in by the police, or their parents for some sort of behavior problem, and you can ask them if they were spanked as a child. You may be surprised at their answers. I know I never am.

 

Our dad's must have read the same parenting book:D. Along with my parents, many times I have heard our pastor say from the pulpit that God gave us the meaty area behind us just for corporal punishment. When done in the right way, it hurts, but does no damage whatsoever other than having a hard time sitting down for a little while. My children know when they get spanked, there is a reason for it. We talk about what they did wrong, why they shouldn't do it, and what the consequences for doing it are. They never question whether they are loved. They are told so several times a day.

I have posted this before.

 

Here is a actual event in my life as a single parent.

One night my 13 year old and another child snuck out after I went to bed, got into a car with a 15 year old (no license of course), proceeded to go to a shopping center to do "Donuts" and they weren't even at my house at the time. My son was staying at the other childs house!!!

 

The 15 year old had been drinking, the police stopped the car, gave 3 boys in the car a field sobriety test!!!! My son had the police call his Mother to pick him up, since she was closer to the scene. His Mother called me at that time to explain the ordeal. She had her speakerphone on at the time. I told her to tell the "Tot" I was comong to pick him up and when I got him home I would be bustin his BUTT!!!

 

The police heard and told me I would go to jail for that, but I must be in control of my child at all times. I asked him how I, who has worked at the same job for 24 years, could confine my child while I am sleeping. Cuffed to the bed? This too is child abuse. Bear in mind I was being fecious at this point, but if I can't discipline and can't confine my child, does this mean I have to stay awake every night to be certain that my TIMEOUTS work?????