Coaching Your Son: Good Idea or Not

[ChiefSmoke]

What do you think? Is it a good idea to coach your son on his HS football team? Does it matter if you are the head coach or an assistant? Does it matter if it is the head coach's hometown or not?  Does your son being the QB make it tougher?

 

 

[MaddenCurse44]

Good if you coach all the kids the same as your son.

[theguru]

Generally speaking I think it is a bad idea in high school unless maybe you are a lowly assistant and your son is clearly D1.  

[Cobraxx]

Agreed. Fine as long as you can separate being a parent and a coach. If you cannot the players will see it very quickly. 

[Cobraxx]

I should add problem is a lot of people cannot separate the two. 

[Jumper_Dad]

I'd be interested to see what some coaches, that actually did this, have to say. 

I can think of more than a few that were very successful on the field with a father/son HFC/QB combo.

It may be more pressure on both during the time they are doing it. However the memories of that time together, will be priceless to both years later.

Besides what's the alternative, tell your kid he can't play for you? Quit coaching? Coach your kid, be fair and tell anyone that complains to pound sand.

[Tranquility Base]

Don't really know of too many of these situations.  I'm sure it's more common that I've experienced.  But the 2 that spring to mind for me:

At Highlands, Dale Mueller coached his son RB Eemon (Sorry if I spelled that wrong.). At Conner, Tom Stellman coach his son Trevor, who was a QB.  Both of those situations worked out great to my knowledge.

I think it has more to do with their relationships that where you rank in the coaching hierarchy or what position is played.  If you can work together in the environment it will work.  If you can't, it won't.

[rjs4470]

I coached both my sons as an assistant. I was not their position coach, although I was a DC with my youngest. I did not involve myself in decisions regarding their playing time. Neither played QB. I've seen it work out more often than not. You don't get to the HC level in High School football if you subscribe to the daddy ball theory.

[Coach Preston]

I was fortunate enough to coach my son in high school. I would not trade that time and experience for anything. I did not coach his position. I never tried to mold him into a position that he was not suited for. I was hands off when he played youth and middle school. We did not talk (intentionally) about football a lot at home. He played Defensive End - rarely ever played offense. I asked my assistant coaches to coach him like any other kid and I would stay out of the way. Each parent's child is different. Collin is a quiet not to emotional young man. He put way more pressure on himself than needed. He did not show it or say it but  I knew this about him.  I felt my son would not thrive by me pressuring him so I allowed the assistants to do that. Matt Marsh, Josh Satterly and Chris Pyles did a fantastic job at Franklin-Simpson coaching him. We played in 3 state championships. He started in both championship wins and played great. He was never a star player. He was an excellent player but was a glue guy. I love players like that. They are the key to the program imo. We had a great experience. He was a leader on those teams. He did it through work and action. I felt like I handled coaching him well. I was fortunate to work with Sam Harp at Danville when he was coaching Chase at QB. Sam did a fantastic job in that situation and I learned from that experience. I have had an assistant or two coach their sons. They did well.  

[Breds82]

I was asked to help coach my sons team in 8th grade, just a position coach that my son was not a part of. I enjoyed it thoroughly and would do it again in a heart beat, even though I was a little lost for the first few weeks. I only had to snap at him one time because him and a couple WRs were screwing around on the sideline when they weren't getting reps at practice. He said "but dad we were....." and I said "I may be your dad but I am also your coach, and you're going to listen to me". I don't know if that was the correct way to respond but I think about it all the time and that was 7 years ago. I also tried not to talk about practice at home and if it was brought up I tried to keep it as positive as possible.

One of the best life lessons I ever received growing up was having my dad coach me in basketball growing up. He coached us 1st-6th grades and I wasn't a starter until 4th grade, not in 5th grade but again in 6th grade. He didn't have to tell me I wasn't good enough I knew. 

[The sarge]

It depends on how the Coach/Dad handles it. I have seen both good and bad examples. 

[CAT DIESEL POWER]

I played high school ball with a coach/son duo, and it was an interesting dynamic that they made work successfully. As my son has grown to the age where I will be coaching him, I reached out to my high school coach for some advice which I have tried to live by. First, he sat down with his son at the beginning of their journey and told him that the dynamic could work one of two ways. 1. He could be a dad and watch him play cheer for him and be his biggest fan. Or number 2 he could coach him (did not coach his position but was the head coach) but if he coached him he would always push him to be the best he could be just as he pushed every player on that team. He explained that he would support whatever dynamic the son wanted but that if he wanted #2 there was never a road back to #1 and that it would be coach/player until he was done playing for him. The second tip was that the coach/player dynamic only existed at football outside of that he had to be dad 100% of the time that meant not bringing up football unless the player brought it up but even then it was as dad not as coach. This player picked option number 2 and they won 2 state titles together and one runner-up. I think this question can be answered in multiple ways but the way above worked for this duo. I believe that no matter how it is handled the outcome good or bad will rest on the coach's shoulders and the ability of the coach to put the team's best interest first which will be easier said than done.

[No Hiding Here....BC 21]

14 minutes ago, CAT DIESEL POWER said:

the ability of the coach to put the team's best interest first which will be easier said than done.

This!  

Not high school, or even football, but when I was asked years ago to put together a baseball team for an organization when my son was 8.  The head of the organization and I sat down and he said "If you do this, you have to want the exact same success for the other kids on the team, that you want for your son".

[CoachFaucett]

I coached my son and would argue that it is much harder on the player than it is the coach.  I loved every minute of coaching him but there were times when my expectations of him were probably unfair to him in comparison with his teammates.  I know that coaches' kids face more scrutiny than others.  No matter how good they are, there will be people that say "he only starts or plays or fill in whatever you like because his dad is a coach.  I saw in high school when my coach's son was our QB (and was very successful) and I saw it with my son who was one of our better players even though he was definitely not a star.  I am sure there are instances when coaches play their own kid more than he deserves but I think it is probably less common than some people believe.  Coaches know that they have to win or their jobs are in danger and that means playing the best players. I can see where coaching your son in some situations could cause problems but I never really experienced any.  Now that my son is out of high school, we talk about it often and are both grateful for the time we spent together doing something we enjoy.  

[okie1]

For the coaches who have done this...on the field, did the player call you Coach or Dad?