Some issues with the article. I won't take anything away from the guy being interviewed, but his response is just that, his. In some ways, he minimizes all the other veterans out there by making a statment like he has.

 

Having said that, I have at times felt embarrased being in a situation where attempts to recognize veterans occur. Each individual chose to be where they ended up by serving their country. I respect those that have made that choice.

 

A quiet thank you and a handshake. If you're sincere, they will know...

Some issues with the article. I won't take anything away from the guy being interviewed, but his response is just that, his. In some ways, he minimizes all the other veterans out there by making a statment like he has.

 

Having said that, I have at times felt embarrased being in a situation where attempts to recognize veterans occur. Each individual chose to be where they ended up by serving their country. I respect those that have made that choice.

 

A quiet thank you and a handshake. If you're sincere, they will know...

 

Agreed.

Actually, the whole article now that I read it over again sort of irks me. While I try to understand where he comes from, I agree with birdbrain that he truly does a disservice to those who came before him. I have been lucky enough to know 2 WWII vets. I have had the privilege of thanking both of them for their service, and per norm for the greatest generation, both knew I was sincere and looked me straight in the eye and shook my hand. Those men had a profound impact on how I regard vets, so I'll quote my dad, you knew what you were signing up for. And when someone thanks you, regardless how shallow you suspect it, simply move along, because some of us really mean it.

I think it's also a huge difference with what conflict they served in. Vietnam vets had a really, really, really, really hard time with home support and everything about their service. Many of whom did not volunteer. To let them know that they still aren't considered the "baby killers" that the counter-culture labeled them has to mean something.

 

Like others here, I'm not sure what should be said. Should they be ignored? Should they just be shuffled off to the side? Because that sounds totally great and like a wonderful idea.

 

And, not to be mean, but I'm not just handing out cash when I see a vet. And, don't even get me started on offering them a job or anything like that.

 

But, they're right. I don't know their sacrifice. I won't have those nightmares. I would have any of those feelings because of them. They were a bigger, and in some capacity, better man than I am. They made more sacrifices in 1 tour than I ever will in my entire life. That's why I'd thank someone for service, because they took on all of those things so that I wouldn't have to. Maybe instead of saying "thanks" saying "I appreciate it" would be more suiting?

 

They went to deep, dark, bad places. Did dark and bad things to bad people. I didn't. I didn't have to. I honestly don't care how you "feel" about being thanked, sorry. My life, and the lives of millions of others are better because of you, because of them. There is nothing universally that everyone can do other than offer thanks or gratitude for those actions, for those sacrifices. If that isn't enough, or isn't what you want, then I wouldn't know what to say to you.

I've had multiple relatives in the military, overseas, in wars, but I never sat down and talked about it until my good buddy came back about a year ago... Sitting around a fire one night in the summer as everyone else slowly left for home or turned in for the night and it came up about some of the fiercest and quite honestly scariest experiences he had in his time overseas... I don't want to get into it because it's not my story to tell, but when someone you've known your whole life says "... and that's when I thought I was going to die right there..." it puts things in perspective for you.

 

Anyways, to get back on topic, we got to talking about this, and he said something similar. He doesn't like when people tell him thank you. He respects it. But doesn't want it really. I asked why and he said, paraphrasing, ".... don't thank me. I came home. I knew some number of guys that didn't come home. I did my job and got to come back here. Save the thanks for those guys that didn't come home."

I read this article yesterday and really had no idea what to think. I don't think he says it is bad to thank him, just maybe not as meaningful to some as others. There is no way I can relate to what he or others experienced, but like most I do respect what they have done for the country. Rather than thanking the one's I might know, I think I will say "I respect what you have done in serving our country. If I can help in any way let me know".

 

I have never randomly thanked a vet, don't know why, just never have. I usually leave people alone that are strangers. I mean, I randomly don't thank police officers, fire fighters, teachers, doctors, etc. and they do a lot of good also, and I respect them. That is probably the reason.

 

Anyways, to get back on topic, we got to talking about this, and he said something similar. He doesn't like when people tell him thank you. He respects it. But doesn't want it really. I asked why and he said, paraphrasing, ".... don't thank me. I came home. I knew some number of guys that didn't come home. I did my job and got to come back here. Save the thanks for those guys that didn't come home."

 

This is similar to the way my brother-in-law and friend (who is currently still serving) feels. He signed up for it, and he approached it as his job. In his eyes, there was no need to thank him for simply doing his job. The ones who didn't come home are the ones who need thanking.

What I'm about to say doesn't exactly relate to the premise of the interview or article but is the view from my side of the aisle.

 

I signed up in April of 2009 to join the KY Army National Guard. I was sent in September of that year to Fort Knox for my basic training. While I was in training I suffered an injury to my spine and was subsequently medically discharged. The paperwork was finalized in April of 2010. My military career lasted 53 weeks.

 

I don't readily volunteer that I was in the Army as I feel I really wasn't given that I never even made it to AIT. But in the course of conversation (typically when discussing my college career or work history) it does occasionally come up. The people I'm talking to in those situations then will say "thank you" pretty much every time. To me, it makes me feel awkward. I don't feel like I did anything to deserve that thanks. Yes, I did enlist but at the same time I wasn't sent overseas to a combat zone like those in my unit eventually were. I didn't have to deal with being in a desert for a year away from my family and friends. I didn't have to do anything that comes with being an Army soldier in a time of war.

 

So to me the "thank you"s don't like the warm, fuzzy feeling that it does to other vets.

I can't think of more than two times maybe where I've uttered "thank you for your service." While I do truly thank them I , too, feel it comes across poorly and cliched. It doesn't sound sincere. It sounds like a reflex.

 

I get what this guy is saying.

 

I try to show support by supporting organizations that actually help the military especially upon their return.

I am just going to say thanks and mean it. If the person is offended, at least I know I was sincere. I bet most are not offended BTW...

 

Agreed! I am willing to bet that most, if not nearly all people who thank them do mean it! I have never met vet that I thought felt like this guy. If everyone will ignore them and not thank them a very large majority of the vets will think that no one cares what they went through. But this one suggest possibly paying him and others money to thank them? As Pete stated, that would be insulting to most of the vets.

And as an Infantry Combat Veteran, I would accept and appreciate your thanks. I signed the dotted line to put my life on the line and to take a life in defense of my country. There's no guilt or remorse, but straight pride that I served. I honor you with my service for our country and you honor me with a Thank You, which I receive greatly. I see no problem. This individual does not speak for every Veteran.

I can't relate to the perspective. This is not meant to denigrate the notion, but it comes off as "don't you dare thank me for my service, but you best be appreciative of what I have done for you." I can't say if that is right or wrong, but that is just how it feels to me.

 

I would rather say "thank you" and be judged for that rather than not saying a word and being judged for that.

What I'm about to say doesn't exactly relate to the premise of the interview or article but is the view from my side of the aisle.

 

I signed up in April of 2009 to join the KY Army National Guard. I was sent in September of that year to Fort Knox for my basic training. While I was in training I suffered an injury to my spine and was subsequently medically discharged. The paperwork was finalized in April of 2010. My military career lasted 53 weeks.

 

I don't readily volunteer that I was in the Army as I feel I really wasn't given that I never even made it to AIT. But in the course of conversation (typically when discussing my college career or work history) it does occasionally come up. The people I'm talking to in those situations then will say "thank you" pretty much every time. To me, it makes me feel awkward. I don't feel like I did anything to deserve that thanks. Yes, I did enlist but at the same time I wasn't sent overseas to a combat zone like those in my unit eventually were. I didn't have to deal with being in a desert for a year away from my family and friends. I didn't have to do anything that comes with being an Army soldier in a time of war.

 

So to me the "thank you"s don't like the warm, fuzzy feeling that it does to other vets.

 

I agree completely. I was at Ft Knox in 2001 very similar situation. I managed Smith Gym across from the Disney Barracks. When I am thanked for my "Sacrifice" I always joke that folding those towels were no joke! I have several friends that went over seas and a few never made it back. Those are the guys that made the ultimate sacrifice not me. I have friends that wake up every morning and battle ptsd. Now they are home trying to fight a different kind of war..Instead of thanking them donate 5 bucks to a organization that helps them out. I agree I think a lot of people do it to feel better about themselves. But I bet if they saw a homeless guy with a Airborne tattoo on his forearm asking for change they would cruise right by..

Many times my "Thank You's" are saved for the old-timers.

My dad was a veteran. He never talked about it, he told me two one paragraph stories about his military service, only one about actual combat. He said, it shouldn't be talked about and I never asked him once about his time in the military because I knew he didn't want to talk about it, and didn't.

 

I never talk about the military with veterans, I talk to them about other stuff, but not their military service. If they brought it up, I would, but I have never had anyone bring it up (other then close friends).

I posted this article yesterday on my Facebook page and tagged all of my veteran friends in the post. Asked people what their thoughts were on the matter. Here's what I got from the veterans who replied:

 

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I personally agree with the article. While my MOS didn't require me to see combat or anything, the "thanks for your service" bit always sounds fake to me, like its a useless habit like saying "bless you" after someone sneezes.

 

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As a vet who has come out on the lighter side of things, I can say that I've experienced much of these feelings. It's always awkward when someone you do or don't know thanks you. I've always struggled with what to say in return. I've never felt malice toward the thanker though.

 

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On one hand, it's nice that people take the time to say "thank you," but I'm a big believer in actions speak louder than words. What I mean is that, to be thankful is more than just saying so. Go out and show your thanks by taking advantage of the freedoms and liberties we do have, and I'm not saying people aren't already doing that. Start a business and employ others, drive less and cut back on fraud, waste and abuse, mentor a young kid, volunteer your time, give back when you can because it's important to not forget where we come from. On the other hand, I can relate to Mr. Garth and Mr. Freedman on how they feel. I, thankfully have never had to pull the trigger but I do recall training for it and I did carry a weapon everyday, but in the grand scheme of things, it's not about me and never was. With that said, the training prepares you for the worst and with that, I don't know about other vets, but that humbled me pretty damn well. I say I can relate to these guys in the article bc the " thank you's" you do hear seem like they are regurgitated with no real meaning. If you look at society and what is really going on, the "thank you's" really seem to mean less and less. Instead of being a society of togetherness, we seem to be a society of oneself. For example, take a look around and see what society propioritizes. I notice in my news feed that Kanye West said something about Beck and that Rihanna wore an awesome dress at the Oscars, and that a '99 St.X grad won an Oscar, but no one seems to want to talk about vets taking their own lives or the fact that the VA medical system is a complete mess ie...the stuff that affects lives. Furthermore, no one seems to want to acknowledge how hard it is to adapt back into a "me first" society when as a soldier, marine, airman, or seabee you were taught service before self, and looking out for the person next to you before putting yourself first. It's even more disgusting when you see friends who have seen combat, struggle with PTSD and all you see in society is the promotion of oneself. I think to myself, is that the really most important thing? Is promoting oneself really going to help our children and their children have a better life then we had it? Now that I'm no longer in the military, I find myself thinking of those overseas constantly and I find myself comparing what those people are going through to what we are doing back home in the comforts of our homes and it bothers me. It bothers me that people take what others have sacrificed for, for granted. I guess what I gathered from my military service is that the freedoms I do enjoy were only made possible by sacrifices by those who came before me. And that's powerful, meaning I feel obligated to uphold that integrity in the way I live, the way I interact with others and the way I portray myself. The impression that I get is that most people do not care and most people have no idea what it takes or what it took to build this great nation and with that, they have no idea in how to show their gratitude. Some people do care and want to show their thanks but don't know how to show it, and I think when that happens, you get articles like this.

 

In conclusion, it's nice to hear that people say "thanks" but I'd much rather see the thanks through changes in society. It would be more meaningful, if combat vets returned home to a society that backed up their "thank you's" with actions that reflected their thanks.

 

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As a veteran of both Operation Iraqi Freedom (Iraq) and Operation Enduring Freedom (Afghanistan), and being deployed for a total of 46 months out of my 9 years of service, I can understand how Mr. Garth's point of view could be taken by some, but not all, service members. While I do not share the same sentiment in regards to people thanking me because it allows them to "somehow understand the sacrifice", I do admit that as a veteran there are certain things that we do keep hidden from the general public and do not discuss unless we are only in the presence of other veterans. This is because the experience (good or bad) is truly ours.

 

I completely disagree with what Mike Freedman says about the thanks "coming across as shallow, disconnected, a reflexive offering from people who, while meaning well, have no clue what Soldiers did over there." On the contrary, I would say that much of the time, the "thank you" is said by people who may not know exactly what happened, but are looking for a way to express their honest appreciation.

 

I can say that I think one of my parent's biggest fears when I told them I was going off to war (apart from me being wounded or killed in combat) was that the Soldiers, Airmen, Sailors, and Marines would return to a nation that was ungrateful and disrespectful, much like their generation experienced during the Vietnam War. To their elation, that has never been the case. Whether the "thank you" was truly heart felt, or just part of the "thank you for your service phenomenon", it beats the hell out of being spit on and called horrible names.

 

In February 2013, the Department of Veterans Affairs released statistics stating that every day, 22 veterans take their own lives. That's 1 suicide every 65 minutes. While I am not suggesting that thanking a veteran would prevent a horrendous act like this from happening, it may be enough to give someone the glimmer of hope they need to seek out professional help. Until we can eradicate this epidemic from our Armed Forces, I will continue to thank other veterans for their service.

 

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As a Vietnam vet, I have mixed feelings on the subject. I would have liked to be thanked after I returned, but those were different times. I could not so much as buy a drink the two days before I left (long story). When I returned, the people in Great Falls, MT where great but the rest of the people were indifferent or hostile to a vet then.

 

I am glad to see a renewed appreciation for the new vets and their families and for what they have gone thru, and we should really thank them.