I've never understood how married people can have different accounts.

 

What is the purpose of such an arrangement? Do you give loans to your partner if they're short ?

Nope. If she needs money she asks if I have any and if I have any then I give what I can and vice versa. If I want something whether it be a case of Fat Tire, a new Polo hoodie or book a cruise for us I don't want to have to ask anyone about it. Same goes for her. If she wants a new Michael Kors purse with a matching billfold and has the loot then knock yourself out. We'd both be broke if we had the same account, plus, I don't want to have to ask anyone if I can spend my money.

My wife and I have a joint account, and I also have an account of my own (which she knows about). When I get paid, the majority of my check gets deposited into our joint account. It's a guaranteed amount that we've decided is enough to help with paying the bills, which she does out of our joint account. The rest goes into the other account.

 

Since there's only one of us that has exact knowledge at any given point in time of what bills have already been paid/cleared, and what's still yet to be paid, it was easier to go ahead and create another account that I use for gas, impromptu purchases and emergency situations. That way, if I suddenly had to purchase 2 tires for one of the vehicles, I could use the debit card/checkbook from this account, without having to go the bank to transfer funds from a savings account, or having to check with her to make sure we weren't going to be short at the wrong time. (Or more likely, use the debit card for a purchase, and forget to tell her about it!)

 

That's different than two accounts where each person decides how to spend their "own" money.

Nope. If she needs money she asks if I have any and if I have any then I give what I can and vice versa. If I want something whether it be a case of Fat Tire, a new Polo hoodie or book a cruise for us I don't want to have to ask anyone about it. Same goes for her. If she wants a new Michael Kors purse with a matching billfold and has the loot then knock yourself out. We'd both be broke if we had the same account, plus, I don't want to have to ask anyone if I can spend my money.

 

Just like I don't get jazz music but that doesn't mean it's bad I just can't wrap my head around your scenario. If I want a new pair of Puma Clydes I go out and buy them. My wife doesn't get mad. She knows I'm smart enough to not waste too much money just like I know she is smart enough.

 

That's what I don't get. Did you go this route from a bad experience?

We pretty much go by who's better at what.

 

I pay all the bills, do the monthly budget, balance the checkbook, etc. I'm more gifted at that than her & she trusts me. We have one account & within our monthly budget, we each have a specific amount of money for spending. But I always make sure her amount is more than mine.

 

She does a lot of the house cleaning because she's more gifted at it, plus she often enjoys doing it. She likes to put her ear buds in and go to work. If she's doing a thorough cleaning, like on a Saturday, she'll kick our daughter & me out of the house. That's fine by me, by the way. :lol2:

 

I do my own laundry (by choice), "cook" 80% of my meals (by choice), wash dishes maybe 25% of the time, take care of trash duties, mow the yard, etc.

 

If I'm honest, she does more than I do. But she's also a better wife than I am a husband.

Both work outside the home, both should also work inside the home. A good marriage is a team.

 

I have been married over 35 years and we always picks up each other's slack depending on our work schedules. I personally insist on doing the laundry because I like things done a certain way, but otherwise, we share household duties. And yes, he makes more and pays almost all the bills.

Just like I don't get jazz music but that doesn't mean it's bad I just can't wrap my head around your scenario. If I want a new pair of Puma Clydes I go out and buy them. My wife doesn't get mad. She knows I'm smart enough to not waste too much money just like I know she is smart enough.

 

That's what I don't get. Did you go this route from a bad experience?

Maybe subconsciously. My parent's divorce was initiated because of finances so possibly subconsciously this mindset could exist. At the same time, I've never been in a situation where I have ever had or wanted a joint account and it's worked for 40 years so why change? Also, my wife and I both struggle with finances so I guarantee at some point we'd have a serious fight about it. Best way to avoid a fight is to avoid all potential for one to take place. Us sharing finances would set that potential. Here's my bills, here's your bills, let me know if you need help has worked perfectly in our marriage.

Maybe subconsciously. My parent's divorce was initiated because of finances so possibly subconsciously this mindset could exist. At the same time, I've never been in a situation where I have ever had or wanted a joint account and it's worked for 40 years so why change? Also, my wife and I both struggle with finances so I guarantee at some point we'd have a serious fight about it. Best way to avoid a fight is to avoid all potential for one to take place. Us sharing finances would set that potential. Here's my bills, here's your bills, let me know if you need help has worked perfectly in our marriage.

 

This would not work for me but it sound like it does for you...as the saying goes, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it".

Every guy I'm friends with has a "secret stash" .

There are a few things we have pretty much designated one way or the other. We share all the others. Since kids are gone and we moved into a condo, not as much to do. Can't wait for the pool to open!!

Every guy I'm friends with has a "secret stash" .

 

Reminds me of a guy, that as he lay on a gurney having a heart attack, told his wife of the thousands he stashed in the attic. Turns out he had bad indigestion and she got a new car.

Every guy I'm friends with has a "secret stash" .

 

Blows my mind. Why the need?

Every guy I'm friends with has a "secret stash" .

 

Most of the women I know do too. Nothing wrong with that. Thousands may be a problem, but a few hundred? Not a problem. Besides, I usually use my stash to buy the mister something anyway.

Blows my mind. Why the need?

 

Weekend trip with the boys for a sporting event or golf trip . Going to the casino or out for some drinks. You don't want her to know exactly what your spending. Plus a small stash helps you buy something avoiding an unneeded argument.

 

I'd say it's more crazy not to have one. No matter how cool the person your with is eventually your going to make him or her mad about something. This just avoids a small dispute on something silly.

I would NEVER date/Marry one who does not work.

I would NEVER date/Marry one who does not work.

 

Life changes you. I always worked. Then we had 3 children in 3 years. Husband had a job where he traveled. I took five years off from my outside job, but I most certainly WORKED. Try being alone with 3 little ones who all have the stomach flu. Try being alone with 3 little ones when they are all healthy!

 

When they got into school all day, I went back to work. As I said before marriage is a partnership. There are no "absolutes". You work together and do what is best for your family.