February 23, 201511 yr I'm not a fan of, "It's your job" or "That's a man's/woman's job". :poop:'s got to get done, period.
February 23, 201511 yr I agree with UK there shouldn't be any specific roles but the larger issue to me is why is only one party paying the bills? Sounds like it has the potential to be a poor foundation for a relationship and no amount of maneuvering beyond the money is going to correct it.
February 23, 201511 yr I pay all the house bills and girlfriend buys all the food. Works out well. We cover our own cell phones and insurance.
February 23, 201511 yr No. There should be no specific roles IMO. I think there should if one person really hates a certain chore or has a knack for something. I pay our bills and watch the budget as my wife really has no desire to track things. She takes care of keeping our computers, phones and tablets updated and operating correctly as that is her talent.
February 23, 201511 yr I agree with UK there shouldn't be any specific roles but the larger issue to me is why is only one party paying the bills? Sounds like it has the potential to be a poor foundation for a relationship and no amount of maneuvering beyond the money is going to correct it. That was the thing that struck me first, I don't know how a two earner couple could get along under those circumstances.
February 23, 201511 yr In this scenario the money is strictly separate, it is not mixed into one account. The one paying the bills, be it man or woman, pays everything specifically out of their income. You say "our bills" in your quote. This brings an interesting aspect to mind. If the one NOT paying the bills DIDN'T look at them as "our bills", and looked at the one who does pay the bills as their responsibility, does that change any opinions? In this scenario, it sounds like the one not paying the bills is taking advantage of the one paying the bills.
February 23, 201511 yr In this scenario the money is strictly separate, it is not mixed into one account. The one paying the bills, be it man or woman, pays everything specifically out of their income. You say "our bills" in your quote. This brings an interesting aspect to mind. If the one NOT paying the bills DIDN'T look at them as "our bills", and looked at the one who does pay the bills as their responsibility, does that change any opinions? In your scenario the man better be saving something for the divorce attorney because that is pretty much the only outcome of this marriage. In a marriage, separate incomes/bank accounts just doesn't work in the majority of cases. My wife pays all of our bills but our money is all in one account. It's not my money and her money, it's our money. She does a higher percentage of the house work (I do help, but she does by far the most), I do almost all of the yard work/take care of pool/shovel snow, ect...
February 23, 201511 yr The deal in our house is that I do all the indoor chores and Mr. Cat does all the outdoor chores. Sometimes, those roles cross over unless it has to do with power tools since you know, I'm not allowed to operate any.
February 23, 201511 yr So, taking all the above into account, should the woman in this scenario be expected, or should she take it upon herself, to do the majority of the housework/be responsible for it? Cooking, cleaning, dishes, etc. Why or why not? As I stated before, if both people are working and out of the house during the day, and only one person is doing the chores, then this relationship will begin to crumble with resentment.
February 23, 201511 yr Author As I stated before, if both people are working and out of the house during the day, and only one person is doing the chores, then this relationship will begin to crumble with resentment. On whose part? The one paying all the bills, the one doing most of the housework, or both?
February 23, 201511 yr On whose part? The one paying all the bills, the one doing most of the housework, or both? Both IMO.
February 23, 201511 yr On whose part? The one paying all the bills, the one doing most of the housework, or both? If one person does not work and has no income, that person should carry the larger household load, it only makes sense. If both are working yet one person is not sharing their income or contributing to bills--whether groceries, gas, clothes, etc for BOTH, that sets up resentment for the one paying the bills. If BOTH are working but and only one person doing the chores, that sets up resentment for the one doing all the work.
February 23, 201511 yr My wife has never had to work outside the home. And I'm thankful for that. I think it's been the single key ingredient in raising 2 respectful young men. With that said, we never had to parse out roles. She takes care of the house, she pays the bills, does all of the domestic things within the house. The outside belongs to me and the boys. I wouldn't trade that for the world and am blessed to have been able for her to do those things, especially for the benefit of my sons. You show me a marriage where roles aren't somewhat defined and I'd plan on it's failure to some extent.
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