February 23, 201511 yr Here is the discussion. Family unit...man, woman, kids at home (kids old enough to take care of themselves in this scenario, no young kids). Man and woman both work. However, only one of them pay the household bills, lets just say for arguments sake the man pays everything, and all from his income (no combined income in paying bills). Mortgage, electricity, water, trash, satellite/cable, household repairs, etc. Also pays for family outings (out to eat, movies, etc.). So, taking all the above into account, should the woman in this scenario be expected, or should she take it upon herself, to do the majority of the housework/be responsible for it? Cooking, cleaning, dishes, etc. Why or why not?
February 23, 201511 yr This sounds like one of those questions "A train leaves Baltimore, heading west at 80 miles an hour. After two hours, what color are the curtains in the train?" To me, this is apples and oranges. Using "your" money to pay the bills, doesn't equate to actual household work.
February 23, 201511 yr I think if one person works full time and pays all expenses it's a pretty reasonable expectation that the other person would/should be in charge or keeping the house clean etc. In this scenario I wouldn't expect anyone to be responsible for everything. They need make a list and divide them up IMO. Where does "her" money go?
February 23, 201511 yr 1. If the woman also works, why does she not pay for anything? What happens to her money? 2. Even if she makes substantially less than the man, yet is out of the house at a job each day, that is unfair that she must spend her nonworking time doing the chores while the man is resting.
February 23, 201511 yr If it's not 50/50 in every aspect, it's not going to work, IMO. Yep, sooner or later frustration will set in.
February 23, 201511 yr I think at the end of each answer the respondent should include marital status and length of marriage. I think you'll see a trend.
February 23, 201511 yr I'll start. Marriage is a partnership. Financially and with all the work that accompanies it. There's no scorecard. Married for 22 years.
February 23, 201511 yr I think if one person works full time and pays all expenses it's a pretty reasonable expectation that the other person would/should be in charge or keeping the house clean etc. If the other person did not work, and stayed at home during the day, then you might have a point. But, if they are out there working as well, then IMO, no...things are not as cut and dried. Also, I'm not so keen on the "his" money versus "her" money. My wife and I both work, and if you took one of our salaries, and broke it down, you could say that one of us is paying for the mortgage, the insurance, the electric, etc. But, we don't. Both checks go into the same bank account. It's "our" money. Same way it's "our" bills.
February 23, 201511 yr After almost 25 years with a great lady I'll offer this much...anticipating needs, good active listening :sssh:, and compromise is integral for marital success.... Accompany that with a healthy sex life and a man doesn't mind taking on some additional home economic work around the house... :banana: :lol2:
February 23, 201511 yr Author If the other person did not work, and stayed at home during the day, then you might have a point. But, if they are out there working as well, then IMO, no...things are not as cut and dried. Also, I'm not so keen on the "his" money versus "her" money. My wife and I both work, and if you took one of our salaries, and broke it down, you could say that one of us is paying for the mortgage, the insurance, the electric, etc. But, we don't. Both checks go into the same bank account. It's "our" money. Same way it's "our" bills. In this scenario the money is strictly separate, it is not mixed into one account. The one paying the bills, be it man or woman, pays everything specifically out of their income. You say "our bills" in your quote. This brings an interesting aspect to mind. If the one NOT paying the bills DIDN'T look at them as "our bills", and looked at the one who does pay the bills as their responsibility, does that change any opinions?
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