I won't say yes, but I bet there are a lot that would, ESPECIALLY if it's done in secret and she really doesn't know about it.

 

That's my thought. If she doesn't know about it, it's wrong IMO.

Paying bills - easy.

 

Keeping house - not so easy.

Not disagreeing with the keeping house part, but making the money for said bills can be much harder than keeping house for many.

 

 

That said, count me in agreement with the "marriage is a partnership" crowd.

That's my thought. If she doesn't know about it, it's wrong IMO.

 

I have separate accounts from my wife that I put money in. She knows about them but doesn't really know how much is in the accounts because I handle all the bills. If she ever asks I would show her so I guess it's not really the same as a secret account.

I have separate accounts from my wife that I put money in. She knows about them but doesn't really know how much is in the accounts because I handle all the bills. If she ever asks I would show her so I guess it's not really the same as a secret account.

 

Absolutely. My thoughts are they should at least know it exists.

Mrs. BB tells me all the time if she didn't have to work 40 hours a week then all domestic duties would be 100 % taken care of...I haven't thought to ask what would get done if she only worked 20 hours a week !

 

The key to a successful marriage - leaving just a few things unsaid every day.

That's my thought. If she doesn't know about it, it's wrong IMO.

 

I think she knows. She just doesn't know the amount :lol2:

 

When she gets a pair of Burberry boots for her birthday she knows the money for that purchase didn't come from our accounts.

 

Honestly, the account has grown enough that I'll most likely spend it on us in the next year or two. Maybe be able to surprise her with a pool or new furniture when we build a home.

I can't answer the question because it is up to what agreement the couple worked out. However, marriage is a partnership, and like any partnership requires conversation, confrontation, negotiation, compromise and sometimes mediation. If one of the couple is working and the other is staying at home, then it is reasonable to expect the one at home can take a heavier burden of home duties. Also, I would say don't leave out the impact of yard/outside work.

 

We have worked out good arrangements over our almost 35 years I suppose. I do everything. Just kidding: My wife likes to cook so she does almost all of the cooking unless it is grilling outside. I am responsible for the dogs, so I vacuum (although she will if I get too busy)...we both clean the rest of the house, usually together. I do the mowing and trimming, but every one in a while she will hop on the lawn tractor. The rest of the gardening, mulching, planting...stuff, we usually do together. When the kids were little, my wife ran a daycare from home. When they were older and she started teaching school, we shared kids activities.

 

Our oldest two children are now married with families, and it is interesting seeing how they are working things out.

Have never figured marriage to be a financial deal, and that's coming from an accountant. Some year's I've made more, some years my wife has. Some year's I've worked more hours, other years she has. When one has been working the additional hours the other has picked up more chores at home, it always balances out. We've always deposited everything into one account and pulled out what we wanted as long as it was within our budget. Any item more than a couple hundred dollars we talk about before buying.

I won't say yes, but I bet there are a lot that would, ESPECIALLY if it's done in secret and she really doesn't know about it.

 

I'm just kind of a pack rat with money. I've always been that way. I've always had money "hidden" in my wallet or in a separate account.

 

I honestly don't know why I do it either. I have everything I want. Don't really need it for anything. I think part of me knows if I "hide" it, we won't spend it on something stupid like an extra vacation we don't really need to take or a newer car that we don't really need.

 

Also, if we were to ever run into a financial situation, I would use that money immediately to help get us through it.

Not disagreeing with the keeping house part, but making the money for said bills can be much harder than keeping house for many.

 

 

That said, count me in agreement with the "marriage is a partnership" crowd.

 

I agree. Now to play devils advocate. Couldn't one person being responsible for all the household bills and the other being responsible for the majority of the household chores be considered a "50/50" partnership?

 

Subjects A and B share a domicile. A pays all the household bills, B does the household chores. B decides they don't like that setup. After a while, B finds themselves with their own domicile. Now guess what? They are now paying the bills for that domicile AND still doing the housework. Seems to me they had it pretty good originally.

I agree. Now to play devils advocate. Couldn't one person being responsible for all the household bills and the other being responsible for the majority of the household chores be considered a "50/50" partnership?

 

Subjects A and B share a domicile. A pays all the household bills, B does the household chores. B decides they don't like that setup. After a while, B finds themselves with their own domicile. Now guess what? They are now paying the bills for that domicile AND still doing the housework. Seems to me they had it pretty good originally.

 

If A & B are both working, not sure how that's even close to a 50/50 partnership...

If A & B are both working, not sure how that's even close to a 50/50 partnership...

 

In this discussion/scenario, party A has all the financial burden of maintaining the household/keeping it afloat. That's a lot to ask. In my personal opinion, it is not asking too much of party B to take on the majority (never said all) of the household chores. And gender plays no role here. If party A was the woman and party B the man, then the man should be doing the majority of the household chores.

In this discussion/scenario, party A has all the financial burden of maintaining the household/keeping it afloat. That's a lot to ask. In my personal opinion, it is not asking too much of party B to take on the majority (never said all) of the household chores. And gender plays no role here. If party A was the woman and party B the man, then the man should be doing the majority of the household chores.

 

I think it's unreasonable. JMO. Paying bills doesn't take time anymore. It's as simple as setting things up online and monitoring that each payment comes out when it's supposed to. Doing the household chores is time-consuming. That's a lot to ask of one person who is spending 40+ hours a week working as well.

 

I really think understanding why one party is paying all the bills is a must. If it's because the other party doesn't think it's their "duty" or "job", then yeah, there's going to be issues. Also, what is that person doing with their money?

I think it's unreasonable. JMO. Paying bills doesn't take time anymore. It's as simple as setting things up online and monitoring that each payment comes out when it's supposed to. Doing the household chores is time-consuming. That's a lot to ask of one person who is spending 40+ hours a week working as well.

 

I really think understanding why one party is paying all the bills is a must. If it's because the other party doesn't think it's their "duty" or "job", then yeah, there's going to be issues. Also, what is that person doing with their money?

Agreed...

In this discussion/scenario, party A has all the financial burden of maintaining the household/keeping it afloat. That's a lot to ask. In my personal opinion, it is not asking too much of party B to take on the majority (never said all) of the household chores. And gender plays no role here. If party A was the woman and party B the man, then the man should be doing the majority of the household chores.

 

Big V...I say this in complete jest...but it sounds like you're looking for a certain answer that you can print off and show someone and say "hey, I'm not the only one who thinks this way". Unfortunately, I don't think you're going to get that answer here. :lol2: