I am a parent of a girl basketball player, but I think this thread relates to both, so I am going to post my 2 cents worth.

I do admit that coaches are underpaid and put in a lot of time, but they know that going in to the position.

 

Also, I do think coaches that have grudges or disagreements with parents will hold it against the kid. I have seen this happen in my schools coaches on both the boys and the girls side. I wish coaches would just see things from a parent point a view. We as parents want the best for our kids and if we don't think that is going on we get upset.

You are 100% correct LBM, as parents we do want what's best for our children, especially if we feel like they are deserving but on the same note being a parent sometimes clouds our judgements. I agree with Yoda's earlier post. When things do not go as we or our children think that they should, it can be a learning experience for the child. If they want a starting position or happen to lose a starting position then instead of blaming the coach and portraying the child as a victim encourage the child to work harder and earn that starting position. In my experience, coaches want to win and it would be very obvious, not to mention stupid, not to play a child that contributed greatly to the team regardless of feelings toward the parents. Its also been my experience that when you have difficult parents that you usually have a difficult child to deal with also. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree and sometimes parents can blow their kids abilities so far out of reality that they actually do them an injustice. Just because we think that our children are great doesn't mean that they actually are. Coach see things more clearly than we do at times. They are there at practices and they consider the childs attitude. Some kids are convinced that they are so good that they are beyond listening to their coach. These children may be great ball players but they are not coachable. Playing sports can be an opportunity to teach our children some life lessons before we actually have to put them into the real world. You can't just quit a job, throw a fit, or have Mommy & Daddy talk to your boss if things aren't going your way. Figure out how to make things better.

Very well put lbbc once again you come up with the answer for alot of these post wether they agree or not very nice post.

I played 4 years of varsity ball in high school and 4 years of college ball and never once ever heard my father make a comment about the game after it was over or never once ever critized any coach that I had. He loved ball and never ever missed a game I played in high school and attended most of them in college. I look back today and I am so thankful that I had a father like that. He was great!!!!!!!!!

I played 4 years of varsity ball in high school and 4 years of college ball and never once ever heard my father make a comment about the game after it was over or never once ever critized any coach that I had. He loved ball and never ever missed a game I played in high school and attended most of them in college. I look back today and I am so thankful that I had a father like that. He was great!!!!!!!!!

 

 

That is a very nice post sounds like you had a great father and its nice to look back now and see how your parents really were its unfortunate that we dont have alot of parents like yours only takes one to spoil the whole bunch. Im sure your father has some very good memories of you playing as well again very nice post.

Very well put lbbc once again you come up with the answer for alot of these post wether they agree or not very nice post.

Thank you CB7.

 

 

To add, I had a conversation with a coach just recently. The game was a physical game. He went to put a girl in that doesn't play much. Parent might see a reason to complain that their daughter doesn't get enough playing time.

 

When the coach called her name, she shook her head vigorously....NO. She didn't want to go in. He called her name again and she shook her head even more vigorously. After the game, she said, "Thanks for not putting me in. It was too physical out there for me." Now that same parent could see the game and be upset that their child didn't get to play. Do you think the child went home and said to their parents, "Coach tried to put me in and I refused?" I am comfortable that the child didn't tell their parent that.

 

A lot of times the parent (I am the same with my children and have to be on my guard for falling victim to the same trap) want it more than the child.

 

The child is content with being a part of the team and loves that.

 

The child knows their limits and is content to play to that limit. And when that limit interferes with the success of the team, they are content to take the back seat and give the team the best chance to win. I have had players who have said they didn't want to go in if a team was pressing because they didn't want to handle the ball. (Noticed I didn't say CAN'T, I said DIDN'T. Of course it is important in practice that the child gets opportunities to handle the ball against pressure and gather confidence in their ability. But that is practice and not the games where they fear being embarrassed in front of their friends.)

 

I know of players who DREAD the ride home as they listen to EVERYTHING they did wrong. I have had MS players tell me they can't wait to get into high school where they HAVE to ride the bus home, so they don't have to listen to all they have done wrong from their parents the whole way home.

 

I know of players who have blamed why they don't like basketball on the coach when they are talking to their parents. But to their friends and to their teammates and to their coaches, they confide it is the constant yelling at them from the stands by their parents that they are tired of.

 

I have had players who have yelled BACK INTO THE STANDS at their parents, "QUIT YELLING AT ME."

 

I have had parents who have gotten on their child for not doing something that was in direct contrast to the game strategy. They wanted the player to go challenge the ball, when that play was not the player's and the offense was cutting someone behind them. So if they WOULD have gone as the parent was yelling at them to do, they would have given up a layup and been yelled at by the coach. (This happens a lot in soccer when parents don't understand the game. Seen many, many times, them yelling at their child to run and get the ball, when it wasn't that players ball to play. The player was covering the far post.)

 

I live by a rule of thumb. If the player needs to be gotten onto because of something they are doing on the floor, I, as a coach, have NO problem doing that. The parents don't have to worry about it. I will do that and have not a single issue with doing it. And I am sure many coaches will be doing the same thing.

I cannot believe no one from JBS has not made any comments on the coach playing the best players or shall I say the correct ones. They have a lot of family ties involved with thier coaches and players. What does a parent do in this situation? Can coaches make the right decisions in this situation? ...Anyways back to the point most parents could care less if the team wins or loses as long as thier kid plays.......parents are the biggest problem for coaches, some constantly complain while others keep thier noses brown.

Coaches or parents don't always make the right decisions.

I cannot believe no one from JBS has not made any comments on the coach playing the best players or shall I say the correct ones. They have a lot of family ties involved with thier coaches and players. What does a parent do in this situation? Can coaches make the right decisions in this situation? ....Anyways back to the point most parents could care less if the team wins or loses as long as thier kid plays.......parents are the biggest problem for coaches, some constantly b_tch while others keep thier noses brown.

Coaches or parents don't always make the right decisions.

 

Let's hope this isn't happening the way it sounds.:eek:

Being a parent of a player and having the opportunity to coach a couple of sports on the varsity level....I have had the opportunity to see both sides. As a coach I wanted to win so I played my best athletes....while as a parent it was killing me inside to watch these other parents stand or sit and wait for their child to participate. I have always told my son it does not matter if you start or how many minutes you play it's how you perform while your out there. I am fortuate my child has been a decent athlete and gets his fair share of playing time. I agree it's no longer LITTLE LEAGUE parents do need to STAY OUT of the COACHES decisions.

When I played in college, if my parents approached my coach, the old man would have said, hey get your stuff and get packing. I feel like that is the approach that needs to be taken at the high school level. some kids are great to help get the team prepared for friday night games but simply are not as good as the kids that they will be facing on friday night varsity games so they do not play. The kids deep down know that too. If they are winning games most of them just accept the bench sitting, but the teams that are losing, that is where you get most of the problems with parents. As a coach, I dont give a hoot about who a kid's parents are, I play the best 5 every single time.

 

I can promise you this, not a single parent is complaining when you are cutting down nets at RUPP, so dont complain when you are basement dwelling either.

LuVbasketball you are the type that can coach their own child. I do not understand people who have the desire to coach their child in every sport they play, because I had to do it at the MS level and found it difficult and exhausting.

 

This is a problem!, it is a problem in that most of the times the kid does get special treatment and the other parents do have problems with this. I also feel for the child too, because no matter what his skill level, others think he is getting to play because of his Parent.

I coached high school varsity basketball for 21 years and only had three occasions where I had to have talks with parents. The first was from a parent that thought his son was getting TOO much playing time, the second was from a parent who thought I was too tough on him and the third was from a mother whose son didn't get to play a lot. I told them all ,if they want to play fine, if not quit or go somewhere else ,but it was going to be my way.

 

I coached my son in high school and basketball wasn't mentioned ever after a game or after practice and he went on to play college ball. When he had a bad game he would be upset and go to his room and I always went in and hugged him and told him I loved him and not to worry about basketball or how he played. I would tell him that there were more inportant things out there than basketball.

 

Today, I watch my grandsons play and have never witnessed such actions of parents in all my life. Parents , leave those kids alone and I'll bet you they will appreciate you more when they get older and they will probably perform better .

Even though parents say some really ridiculous things (not all are), I think their concern should be commended. Some parents and fans have really intelligent things to advise. I would think that it should be ran like a democracy to where if you want to recommend something, the coach should be obliged to listen even if it is ridiculous. The head coach should be thankful for the concern. No one thinks this is part of being a fan? I think its my duty to say anything on my mind about my team. Is it bad to think this way?

 

 

Some of the things said on this thread are hilarious...picking starters out of a hat? That's ridiculous!

Its not a democracy letstalksports!!!

 

Ridiculous is thinking it is your duty to say anything on your mind about my team. Get real.

 

Read john boy's post. Well put JB.

Even though parents say some really ridiculous things (not all are), I think their concern should be commended. Some parents and fans have really intelligent things to advise. I would think that it should be ran like a democracy to where if you want to recommend something, the coach should be obliged to listen even if it is ridiculous. The head coach should be thankful for the concern. No one thinks this is part of being a fan? I think its my duty to say anything on my mind about my team. Is it bad to think this way?

 

 

Some of the things said on this thread are hilarious...picking starters out of a hat? That's ridiculous!

 

I don't know about the democracy thing but, the difference between the average fan such you or I for example compared to a parent who may be biased do to their child would hold a substantial difference in a coaches eyes IMO. For the most part I agree with what your saying.

If any of you, have gone through the ASEP Certification course, which are mandated by KHSAA, you will recall listening to parental concerns, is an option, given the proper setting.

 

Any concerns should be, as BD77 mentioned....by the Player first and foremost, which he/she can ask. Parents often approach Coaches, after a game, when they are heated and already in a negative frame of mind.