Thank you CB7.

 

 

To add, I had a conversation with a coach just recently. The game was a physical game. He went to put a girl in that doesn't play much. Parent might see a reason to complain that their daughter doesn't get enough playing time.

 

When the coach called her name, she shook her head vigorously....NO. She didn't want to go in. He called her name again and she shook her head even more vigorously. After the game, she said, "Thanks for not putting me in. It was too physical out there for me." Now that same parent could see the game and be upset that their child didn't get to play. Do you think the child went home and said to their parents, "Coach tried to put me in and I refused?" I am comfortable that the child didn't tell their parent that.

 

A lot of times the parent (I am the same with my children and have to be on my guard for falling victim to the same trap) want it more than the child.

 

The child is content with being a part of the team and loves that.

 

The child knows their limits and is content to play to that limit. And when that limit interferes with the success of the team, they are content to take the back seat and give the team the best chance to win. I have had players who have said they didn't want to go in if a team was pressing because they didn't want to handle the ball. (Noticed I didn't say CAN'T, I said DIDN'T. Of course it is important in practice that the child gets opportunities to handle the ball against pressure and gather confidence in their ability. But that is practice and not the games where they fear being embarrassed in front of their friends.)

 

I know of players who DREAD the ride home as they listen to EVERYTHING they did wrong. I have had MS players tell me they can't wait to get into high school where they HAVE to ride the bus home, so they don't have to listen to all they have done wrong from their parents the whole way home.

 

I know of players who have blamed why they don't like basketball on the coach when they are talking to their parents. But to their friends and to their teammates and to their coaches, they confide it is the constant yelling at them from the stands by their parents that they are tired of.

 

I have had players who have yelled BACK INTO THE STANDS at their parents, "QUIT YELLING AT ME."

 

I have had parents who have gotten on their child for not doing something that was in direct contrast to the game strategy. They wanted the player to go challenge the ball, when that play was not the player's and the offense was cutting someone behind them. So if they WOULD have gone as the parent was yelling at them to do, they would have given up a layup and been yelled at by the coach. (This happens a lot in soccer when parents don't understand the game. Seen many, many times, them yelling at their child to run and get the ball, when it wasn't that players ball to play. The player was covering the far post.)

 

I live by a rule of thumb. If the player needs to be gotten onto because of something they are doing on the floor, I, as a coach, have NO problem doing that. The parents don't have to worry about it. I will do that and have not a single issue with doing it. And I am sure many coaches will be doing the same thing.

 

I've been involved in sports on both sides. I'm a parent and a coach. Coaching is definately more difficult. When you are a coach you are responsible for looking out for the team as a whole. Little Billy may be a great short stop, catching everything hit his way, but if he can't make a good throw to 1st base because he throws wild and won't listen to the coach he may have to be moved. Same reasoning with an outfielder. I had a kid that could catch like a pro but couldn't do it without diving on the ground and flipping a few times. He caught the ball but wasted some much time on the drama, trying to make the catch look harder than it actually was. He might have gotten the batter out but the base runners were tagging up and running like crazy while he was still rolling around in the outfield. This same kid could hit well and would consistently hit easy doubles which he would then try to stretch into triples or homeruns. I could have been holding a sign reading STOP DO NOT RUN and the kid would have still took off. And of course, 9 out of 10 times he would get thrown out. This child had so much athletic ability but was completely uncoachable. I thought that it was me and that we just didn't relate well but this behavior went on into M.S. & H.S.. The parents thought that he should be able to use his own judgement and run whenever he wanted. They were as much a part of the problem as the child. The kid didn't play much in M.S. or H.S. where, unlike Little League, everyone does not have to play because when he refused to listen to a coach he went to the bench. Now the child doesn't play because the coaches don't like him. One of my favorite fields to play on is Hazard H.S.'s because the parents are far away from the players and the coaches.

As a parent of a child here in the 10th region. I dont recall any Basketball coach having a gun to there head and making them coach, I have seen well over 1500 ball games in my lifetime. I see coaches wearing FREE shoes. I see coaches wearing FREE shirts. I see coaches wearing prob alot more free stuff we dont know about. I dont ever see a coach PAY to get in a game. I see coaches think that they are ON TOP of the world and they are better then alot of people, Go back to the old days when Coach Leon Willett and Hutch coached. Now those were the days. I dont recall all those fancy clothes and shoes.. As far as the KIDS, There is only one team in the 10th region that will prevail and that is MASON COUNTY. So some of you coaches do need to remember, These kids all are human and there are alot worse things in the world then taking a little heat from a parent. YES I have coached, before you get to tore up. Its as simple as this If you cant take the heat. get out of the kitchen. You can shake a tree anywhere in the 10th region and 20 coaches will fall out.. Just may all not be SUPER COACHES

 

Actually, coaches pay an annual fee in the state of KY to be a part of the KHSAA Coaches Association. This gives them a pass to get into games in this state.

Coaching is an honor and privilege, just like playing the game is. In this fraternity, like any other one can find both good and bad, informed and not-informed.....Yet, they are still providing a service for student-athletes.

 

We get too much credit, when the team wins and likewise blame, when the team loses but we can accept that, deal with it and cope....Got to move on, to the next game and look ahead.

 

If you Coach, I admire your commitment, endless hours of dedication and time. I've spent many hours, preparing and evaluating....along with commiserating. It's not about the pay, it's not about prestige, it's not about personal goals....It's about teaching, instructing and offering our knowledge to student-athletes, about the game itself and the game of life.

Coaching is an honor and privilege, just like playing the game is. In this fraternity, like any other one can find both good and bad, informed and not-informed.....Yet, they are still providing a service for student-athletes.

 

We get too much credit, when the team wins and likewise blame, when the team loses but we can accept that, deal with it and cope....Got to move on, to the next game and look ahead.

 

If you Coach, I admire your commitment, endless hours of dedication and time. I've spent many hours, preparing and evaluating....along with commiserating. It's not about the pay, it's not about prestige, it's not about personal goals....It's about teaching, instructing and offering our knowledge to student-athletes, about the game itself and the game of life.

 

Excellent post!

I let our JV team, pick the starting lineup (not out of a hat) one time, in the second game of a 5 inning DH, after the first game was a little lopsided. Plus, some middle school players, played a game earlier so it was the 3rd game, for some.

 

I often say, a game is watched from 5 view points.

 

Player

Coach

Official

Fan

Parent

....each, with a different view point, task and reason.

 

Good perspective.

 

And none of these perspectives is right or wrong all of the time. I see nagging parents who are only concerned about their child and not the team, and there are parents concerned about both. But I also see coaches who set themselves up as unquestionable authority, and this is wrong too. Yes, coaches are in the mix day in and day out, but sometimes they can't see the forest for the trees, whereas someone not so involved can see the situation more clearly. Also some coaches are susceptible to politics, and other influences - you can't convince me this doesn't happen - which impacts how decisions are made. The good coach sets up a system (not right after a game) where he/she is accessible to discuss issues.

 

I am concerned about the "closed practice" issue. How can a parent - if they wanted - get the same perspective as the coach if the practices are closed?

In all my years of coaching high school basketball, never ever had a closed practice or never saw the need for a closed practice.:ylsuper:

Good perspective.

 

And none of these perspectives is right or wrong all of the time. I see nagging parents who are only concerned about their child and not the team, and there are parents concerned about both. But I also see coaches who set themselves up as unquestionable authority, and this is wrong too. Yes, coaches are in the mix day in and day out, but sometimes they can't see the forest for the trees, whereas someone not so involved can see the situation more clearly. Also some coaches are susceptible to politics, and other influences - you can't convince me this doesn't happen - which impacts how decisions are made. The good coach sets up a system (not right after a game) where he/she is accessible to discuss issues.

 

I am concerned about the "closed practice" issue. How can a parent - if they wanted - get the same perspective as the coach if the practices are closed?

I understand why some Coaches want closed practices in Basketball, since teaching and instruction is needed, with premium focus on the staff, not from the stands.

 

My personal opinion, is some Coaches use this as an opportunity for such instruction and others, for negative reasons....Each program may have a different philosophy and some, may not want their defensive/offensive sets learned by fans.

 

Coaches have reasons for their decisions and never understood, the politics reference, often offered. You can find varying degrees of self-confidence, organized, timid, passionate and "great-guy" in life and in coaching....often, some are the same in both.

 

Coaches aren't obligated to discuss playing time with parents or their reasons, on limiting. Parents have the same bias often, toward their own child, that many perceive the Coach has, if he doesn't play....Fine line to walk.

I understand why some Coaches want closed practices in Basketball, since teaching and instruction is needed, with premium focus on the staff, not from the stands.

 

My personal opinion, is some Coaches use this as an opportunity for such instruction and others, for negative reasons....Each program may have a different philosophy and some, may not want their defensive/offensive sets learned by fans.

 

Coaches have reasons for their decisions and never understood, the politics reference, often offered. You can find varying degrees of self-confidence, organized, timid, passionate and "great-guy" in life and in coaching....often, some are the same in both.

 

Coaches aren't obligated to discuss playing time with parents or their reasons, on limiting. Parents have the same bias often, toward their own child, that many perceive the Coach has, if he doesn't play....Fine line to walk.

 

 

Maybe the politics reference comes more to play (or not) in private schools where it is common opinion where family donations and alumni parental involvement make a difference. Now, not to an extreme where a poor player plays over a good player, but where factors are close....

 

This whole subject is magnified when a player doesn't play, doesn't know why (and some coaches don't communicate this), and then is locked into a situation with this coach that may never change during the course of this player's high school years.

Maybe the politics reference comes more to play (or not) in private schools where it is common opinion where family donations and alumni parental involvement make a difference. Now, not to an extreme where a poor player plays over a good player, but where factors are close....

 

This whole subject is magnified when a player doesn't play, doesn't know why (and some coaches don't communicate this), and then is locked into a situation with this coach that may never change during the course of this player's high school years.

I understand your point and I was implying more, from comments I hear parents say...."He's not playing, it's all politics" and often, it's because of various reasons.

 

If any Coach, is biased toward a player or is influenced to play from school officials, or outside interest than, that is certainly wrong.

I understand your point and I was implying more, from comments I hear parents say...."He's not playing, it's all politics" and often, it's because of various reasons.

 

If any Coach, is biased toward a player or is influenced to play from school officials, or outside interest than, that is certainly wrong.

The only time I can see a coach not necessarily playing just the best players is the lower levels. And I address this because we probably have some MS parents on here.

 

You are coaching 7th grade and you have a player over 6'0" tall with a father that is 6'7" and a mother that is 6'1" and the kids needs to be playing whether he is the best player or not. MS is just as much if not more about player development than it is wins/losses. So that kid needs playing time. Not necessarily the whole game but he needs to be on the court.

 

Sometimes genetics can tell you or at least give some clue on whether a player will be athletic or tall. Two things coaches can't coach. I can't make a 5'8" player 6'4".

I would just say there are situations where a coach has been influenced to play a certain player over another. Maybe the parents were old school mates or friends or relatives etc. I agree most parents think their son or daughter should be playing over so and so but there is the exception.

The only time I can see a coach not necessarily playing just the best players is the lower levels. And I address this because we probably have some MS parents on here.

 

You are coaching 7th grade and you have a player over 6'0" tall with a father that is 6'7" and a mother that is 6'1" and the kids needs to be playing whether he is the best player or not. MS is just as much if not more about player development than it is wins/losses. So that kid needs playing time. Not necessarily the whole game but he needs to be on the court.

 

Sometimes genetics can tell you or at least give some clue on whether a player will be athletic or tall. Two things coaches can't coach. I can't make a 5'8" player 6'4".

Well said....:thumb:

Well said....:thumb:

 

 

:thumb: :thumb: :thumb:

As I've followed this thread, I can't help but wonder how the team's win/loss record affects the whining?? I've certainly heard my share of whining parents, and those who feel they are more knowledgable than the coach, ref, offical, etc. But it seems to me, as an observer; that I've heard much more complaining, desention, etc. from the fans and parents of consistantly losing programs, than those of winning programs?? I'm sure there are exceptions at even the most successful programs, but it appears that I see more "issues" and second guessing on here from supporters of programs who aren't having a lot of success, and those that continue to lose to rivals and other schools the "experts" feel they should be dominating?? Just curious if there is a corelation??

Actually, coaches pay an annual fee in the state of KY to be a part of the KHSAA Coaches Association. This gives them a pass to get into games in this state.

Who pays that money.THE athletic dept, who makes the athletic department money. PARENTS and all the fans that pay $5.00 to get in to a ball game