Let me ask the BGP Opinion on this. What if the Father is not alive? Then should you ask the mother?

 

My girl and I are at this same point and deciding if we should get engaged or not at this time, were not financial where we want to be to get engaged/ married yet. Her dad is not well off health wise. (He has had 3 strokes in the last few years and the next one will probably be the last per his doctors.) I feel kinda pressured that I should go ahead and ask her dad before he gets any worse or should I wait until we are where her and I want to be to get engaged/married. Im afraid that if I ask her dad now, her parents will want a quick wedding and such. Thoughts?

If you aren't ready, then don't ask.

Wait. If he dies he dies (harsh). Do not rush into anything until YOU are ready.

 

All my friends say the same Clyde, and its not an issue if I want to or not. Shes the one (I'm her one, at least thats what she says, lol) Its more an issue of timeing and finances. However, I know that she really really really wants me to ask her dad for permission.

I have a little experience on this one:

 

My son-in-law, on a visit to our home asked me to come upstairs as he need some help finding a bottle opener. When we got upstairs and went into the kitchen has asked me to sit down as he wanted to talk. Now honestly I had a pretty good idea what he was up to because that is all my daughter had been talking thinking about, for the last month or so.

 

He told me his intentions and we talked a while and I did as my father-in-law had done to me, when I asked for my wife hand in marriage and that was to say yes and to welcome him not as my son-in-law but as my son.

 

Couldn't have been happier in the way he asked and when a couple of weeks went by and I got a call from my daughter about him popping the question, after congratulating her-him I told her how I knew about his plans a few weeks ago.....

 

She indeed was happy, that her now husband thought enough of me and her to ask me in person, man to man.....

Shoot him a text.

 

Nice one! :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

Let me ask the BGP Opinion on this. What if the Father is not alive? Then should you ask the mother?

 

My girl and I are at this same point and deciding if we should get engaged or not at this time, were not financial where we want to be to get engaged/ married yet. Her dad is not well off health wise. (He has had 3 strokes in the last few years and the next one will probably be the last per his doctors.) I feel kinda pressured that I should go ahead and ask her dad before he gets any worse or should I wait until we are where her and I want to be to get engaged/married. Im afraid that if I ask her dad now, her parents will want a quick wedding and such. Thoughts?

 

Do not do this until you are ready.

Whoops, I knew I forgot something.

What if you ask and they say no, then what?

A few months back, my daughter's boyfriend called me up one day wanting to meet for dinner and drinks. I thought nothing of it, he's a Notre Dame grad and big football fan, thinking he just wanted to talk about our upcoming trip to South Bend. I told Mrs. S and she lit up like a Christmas tree. "He's going to ask you for her hand!!!! giggle, giggle, giggle..."

She spread the word and when the day of the meet came, the giggle girls in accounting were all a-wash with excitement when I left, wanting all of the details.

 

When I get to the restaurant, guess who is with him? My daughter. The dinner was exactly what I thought it was and had nothing to do with marriage.

 

During the dinner, I relayed the story of what everyone else thought he was meeting me for. His response was an emphatic, "Oh, Hell no!" To which my daughter gave him one of those looks and said, "I don't want to get married now either, but 'Oh, Hell no???'" I felt bad for the poor guy. That comment had to cost him a pretty penny.

Take him to a strip club and ask him!

Take him to a strip club and ask him!

:lol:

Let me ask the BGP Opinion on this. What if the Father is not alive? Then should you ask the mother?

 

My girl and I are at this same point and deciding if we should get engaged or not at this time, were not financial where we want to be to get engaged/ married yet. Her dad is not well off health wise. (He has had 3 strokes in the last few years and the next one will probably be the last per his doctors.) I feel kinda pressured that I should go ahead and ask her dad before he gets any worse or should I wait until we are where her and I want to be to get engaged/married. Im afraid that if I ask her dad now, her parents will want a quick wedding and such. Thoughts?

 

I'm going to take a little bit of a different view on this one than most other posters. I certainly don't think that you should propose just to "beat the clock." However, if it were me (I'm very much a daddy's girl) it would mean so much to me. Consider the following:

 

If you think that her dad has come to terms with how precarious his health is, find a way to have a talk with him and let him know how much you care for his daughter, but that it isn't the right time for either of you to be engaged. However, you know that she would want to have his blessing and you want him to know that when the time is right you will want to take care of her forever and would he be okay with that? I think that as a father looking at his own health situation, that he might actually find it a relief to know of your future intention. If he is happy and says that he would want that for her, he might on his own write a note in the event of his death, letting her know that she has his blessing to marry you.

 

Don't do this, though, if you think it will put pressure on you to actually propose or marry before you are ready. However, if it sounds good and your gf loves her dad deeply, it might come to mean more to her than you could imagine.

Take him to a strip club and ask him!

 

That’s just wrong. :laugh:

I agree with asking him in his own home, man to man. However, if he is likely to take it badly and also happens to be a gun enthusiast, you might want to pick a public place.

A few months back, my daughter's boyfriend called me up one day wanting to meet for dinner and drinks. I thought nothing of it, he's a Notre Dame grad and big football fan, thinking he just wanted to talk about our upcoming trip to South Bend. I told Mrs. S and she lit up like a Christmas tree. "He's going to ask you for her hand!!!! giggle, giggle, giggle..."

She spread the word and when the day of the meet came, the giggle girls in accounting were all a-wash with excitement when I left, wanting all of the details.

 

When I get to the restaurant, guess who is with him? My daughter. The dinner was exactly what I thought it was and had nothing to do with marriage.

 

During the dinner, I relayed the story of what everyone else thought he was meeting me for. His response was an emphatic, "Oh, Hell no!" To which my daughter gave him one of those looks and said, "I don't want to get married now either, but 'Oh, Hell no???'" I felt bad for the poor guy. That comment had to cost him a pretty penny.

 

Haha that's awesome!

I don't like this thread, it makes me think about what I'm putting off every day.:puke: Girlfriend of 2.5 years wants something shiny and expensive for christmas and it's not a new car.