I think it all depends on the relationship between the future the two men.

 

Sorry things didn't work out for you and your partner. Don't worry, you'll find Mr. Right someday.:lol:

Here's another layer to this question for my personal situation....I'm not to the point yet, but my girlfriend has her father, who I 100% will ask, but she also has her step-father, who she lived with for the past 12 years of her life until moving out about a year ago. So do I ask him too?

Will they both be picking up the tab and walking her down the aisle? If so, especially to the walking down the aisle part I'd consider it. But more than likely I think you stick with the biological father as long as he is a part of her life. You run a BIG risk of offending the biological father (even if they never say anything) if you ask the step-father as well.

Here's another layer to this question for my personal situation....I'm not to the point yet, but my girlfriend has her father, who I 100% will ask, but she also has her step-father, who she lived with for the past 12 years of her life until moving out about a year ago. So do I ask him too?

 

Assuming she has a strong relationship with the step-father then "yes."

^They don't get along all that well, but I think her mother would expect that I at least ask them (her and her step-father) for their blessing.

 

Also, her father and step-father do not get along at all.

^They don't get along all that well, but I think her mother would expect that I at least ask them (her and her step-father) for their blessing.

 

Also, her father and step-father do not get along at all.

I would by no means do it then. I think you would definitely offend/hurt the feelings of her father. The tradition is "ask the father", not the mother or step-father

 

My parents have been divorced since I was very young and are both remarried. I love my step-dad and step-mom dearly, but if I were a girl I wouldn't expect anyone but my Dad to be asked. Since those two don't get along, I would recommend you do the same.

I figured the lunch or dinner thing. I just feel like it would be awkward to call him and say "Do you want to go to lunch or dinner? Just me and you."

 

Just suck it up and do it whenever you get the chance to be alone. It was worse than asking my girlfriend to marry me. BTW, the response that I got, "Let me think about it." And he did, for like 2 weeks and then got back to me. I appreciated how thoughtful he was about it as a father, it's just not something that I was prepared for.

I would by no means do it then. I think you would definitely offend/hurt the feelings of her father. The tradition is "ask the father", not the mother or step-father

 

My parents have been divorced since I was very young and are both remarried. I love my step-dad and step-mom dearly, but if I were a girl I wouldn't expect anyone but my Dad to be asked. Since those two don't get along, I would recommend you do the same.

 

I agree.

So, at a dive bar over a bottle of cheap whiskey isn't appropriate?

So, at a dive bar over a bottle of cheap whiskey isn't appropriate?

 

Certainly would be for me if I had a daughter haha!

Let me ask the BGP Opinion on this. What if the Father is not alive? Then should you ask the mother?

 

My girl and I are at this same point and deciding if we should get engaged or not at this time, were not financial where we want to be to get engaged/ married yet. Her dad is not well off health wise. (He has had 3 strokes in the last few years and the next one will probably be the last per his doctors.) I feel kinda pressured that I should go ahead and ask her dad before he gets any worse or should I wait until we are where her and I want to be to get engaged/married. Im afraid that if I ask her dad now, her parents will want a quick wedding and such. Thoughts?

I think there is one option. You go to the man's house (his turf) and sit down with him and his wife and let them know of your intentions. Even if he says "no" he'll respect you for showing up and asking.

Right on the money.

 

If father and mother get along. He will take care of informing the mother. Either that or your future wife will.

Let me ask the BGP Opinion on this. What if the Father is not alive? Then should you ask the mother?

 

My girl and I are at this same point and deciding if we should get engaged or not at this time, were not financial where we want to be to get engaged/ married yet. Her dad is not well off health wise. (He has had 3 strokes in the last few years and the next one will probably be the last per his doctors.) I feel kinda pressured that I should go ahead and ask her dad before he gets any worse or should I wait until we are where her and I want to be to get engaged/married. Im afraid that if I ask her dad now, her parents will want a quick wedding and such. Thoughts?

Don't ask till you are ready.

I just asked some random guy that was near our table at dinner one night. He was completely supportive

Let me ask the BGP Opinion on this. What if the Father is not alive? Then should you ask the mother?

 

My girl and I are at this same point and deciding if we should get engaged or not at this time, were not financial where we want to be to get engaged/ married yet. Her dad is not well off health wise. (He has had 3 strokes in the last few years and the next one will probably be the last per his doctors.) I feel kinda pressured that I should go ahead and ask her dad before he gets any worse or should I wait until we are where her and I want to be to get engaged/married. Im afraid that if I ask her dad now, her parents will want a quick wedding and such. Thoughts?

 

Wait. If he dies he dies (harsh). Do not rush into anything until YOU are ready.

So, at a dive bar over a bottle of cheap whiskey isn't appropriate?

Cheap whiskey is never appropriate.