So I'll be asking my gf to marry me over the Christmas holiday, I know it's proper to ask the father for his daughter's hand in marriage.

 

Personally, I feel this is antiquated and unnecessary seeing how women are no longer considered the property of their fathers until they marry, but I don't make the rules.

 

I have been told by my gf that I should probably ask/talk to him before popping the actual question.

 

He lives 2 hours away and it's not exactly easy to make the trip up their. I have no time during the week, so I would need to go sometime this weekend (while keeping it secret from her) if I were to ask him in person.

 

I would feel much more comfortable doing this sort of thing via e-mail, but I'm not sure how acceptable that is. Not to mention, it's kind of awkward e-mailing or calling him up to schedule some kind of drop-in without giving away what I'm coming there for.

 

Any advice/tips on how I should go about doing this?

So I'll be asking my gf to marry me over the Christmas holiday, I know it's proper to ask the father for his daughter's hand in marriage.

 

Personally, I feel this is antiquated and unnecessary seeing how women are no longer considered the property of their fathers until they marry, but I don't make the rules.

 

I have been told by my gf that I should probably ask/talk to him before popping the actual question.

 

He lives 2 hours away and it's not exactly easy to make the trip up their. I have no time during the week, so I would need to go sometime this weekend if I were to ask him in person.

 

I would feel much more comfortable doing this sort of thing via e-mail, but I'm not sure how acceptable that is. Not to mention, it's kind of awkward e-mailing or calling him up to schedule some kind of drop-in without giving away what I'm coming there for.

 

Any advice/tips on how I should go about doing this?

 

I would do it in person. I don't think we've advanced to the point where asking via e-mail is acceptable. I think he would appreciate that you took the time, and worked up the courage to confront....er....approach him directly about this. It would go a long way in making him feel you felt his little girl was that important to you, IMO.

A phone call should be acceptable...

Oh boy.

Oh boy.

 

Exactly.

How about meeting somewhere in the middle? As a parent, I can tell you that he's probably already expecting something like this at some point. I'd invite him for lunch somewhere between the two of you. It will mean much more to him to have you discuss this with him in person (shows respect!!).

 

Can't you arrange for both couples to meet, then let the ladies go an shop and you and dad could "talk" before meeting back up with the girls.

How about meeting somewhere in the middle? As a parent, I can tell you that he's probably already expecting something like this at some point. I'd invite him for lunch somewhere between the two of you. It will mean much more to him to have you discuss this with him in person (shows respect!!).

 

Can't you arrange for both couples to meet, then let the ladies go an shop and you and dad could "talk" before meeting back up with the girls.

 

She has to work this weekend. (and just about every weekend)

 

I really don't think I'd like discussing something as serious at a restaurant. I'm not sure I want other people listening in on that conversation.

Text him.

It's not going to be as bad as you think!! I PROMISE!! I don't know how long you have been together but people don't just meet and get married in just a few months. They're already expecting this. Take him/them out to eat and CELEBRATE!!

Text him.

 

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

A phone call should be acceptable...

 

Agreed, It is very old school now days and some people don't do it at all. Do not E-Mail him though. :lol: Just give him a call.

Having done this a couple of times, I agree that it should be done in person. A neutral site would be optimal, such as a restaurant.

 

As for asking his permission, I agree that it is kind of out-dated. I opted with asking for his blessing. As I told him, I was going to marry his daughter, with or without his permission, but it would mean the world to me if he would give his blessing.

 

Be prepared for an intense conversation. He will probably want to talk about the future as far as employment, what marriage means as far as commitment, what he expects of you as a son-in-law, etc. Be sure to listen respectfully and answer all questions honestly. Look him in the eye. Show him that you are taking this very important step seriously.

 

Good luck, young man. I wish you nothing but the best in this, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Speaking as a man in this situation, I dont want an email, phone call, wire, candy-gram, or anything else where I couldnt look you in the eye. I had only ONE girl, and she is so precious that I have to talk to the person who will be taking care of her from now on. Im sure you future father-in-law expects this any time but he will still have a couple things that he needs to say between you and him. When you have a daughter, you will understand!

I think it depends on the kind of relationship you have with him and his type of personality.

As a father that had this scenario about 3 years ago. Try your best to go meet up with future father-in-law. It will enhance your relationship with the in-laws from day one. If it's impossible to get there, at least call. If she's Daddy's girl try to find a way to go meet up with him.