Rocket, the first thing that strikes me is that you are trying to "force" things. You go from "relationship" right into "relationship". I'm not trying to be mean here, but IMO, you need to become comfortable with yourself, and able to be alone without feeling like you're missing something before you can be in a secure relationship. You seem to pick the wrong girls, and try to make it into what you want it to be, when it was never there to begin with.

 

Anyway, don't get mad at me. But from your rants, this is what I conclude.

I would go as far to say love yourself.

Really learn who you are and what you need and what your looking for in a relationship, then don't settle for less.

I would go as far to say love yourself.

Really learn who you are and what you need and what your looking for in a relationship, then don't settle for less.

 

I was going to say that, but I honestly feel it's not adequate. He needs to learn to love himself, but be COMFORTABLE with himself as well. I know so many people who are absolutely afraid to not have a mate! They live in fear they won't find "the right one". Honestly, although it's important, you have to be able to face being "mate-less" to appreciate what you want in your partner, IMO. I have found that loving oneself is not the end of it all, but the beginning.

 

That, again, is just my opinion, and I am an amateur at this so don't be holding me accountable.

I guess I'm just gonna give her some space and if I havent heard from her in a week I'll start the healing process I suppose :(

This is your best bet.

 

Obviously she's still wanting something if she was upset when you changed your status. I would give her a week, let her go through the weekend. Then maybe Monday or Tuesday shoot her a text or call her. If she hasn't sucked up her pride by then it's time to move on.

 

Just remember to keep yourself busy when you have some down time. It worked wonders for me.

Her name isn't Leigh is it? :D If so, run, run far away. :lol: :lol:

 

If not, talk to her. Nothing gets done or resolved without talking to each other about your feelings for each other. TALK, TALK, TALK even if it takes all night Talk it out.

When I was very young and having a similar problem, a very wise old man told me that women are like busses. If you miss one, another comes along every ten minutes.

 

Of course, that particular young lady and I will have been married for thirty years next Spring, so what do I know.

It really depends what route you want to take. You can talk it out or you can give her space/time to think about this. Each side has its pros & cons.

 

She's got to forgive herself before she'll take you back. Believe me, I know this from experience.

The pig in me says stay away from her and start dating her best friend.

 

The softer side of me that I don't let how much says if you really are into this lady set down and talk and do not walk away from the talk until both of you are sure what the problem is and if the problem can be worked out.

You seem to be looking too shallow at the questions, Rocket. You are willing to go into long diatribes and great detail about the problems and what the women are doing wrong, but I had to drag out two vague sentences when I started asking you pointed quesitons about the roots.

 

Did the questions make you uncomfortable? Are you really interested in breaking the pattern, or did you just want to rant?

The question doesnt neccesarily make me uncomfortable, but more embarassed me that I was kind of dooped into thinking long term then something like this happens. After the last girl I took a few months off before dating, I wasnt really that interested in getting involved again when current girl came along but we went out and it clicked and it was a lot of fun. Shes a good girl, so im not talking about partying fun, but just enjoying each other. Like when the last girl ended, I was more worried about her dating someone else or something. This one I'm not concerned about that, I'm worried that I've lost one of the very few GOOD girls I've ever met. It's hard to explain but we got each other. But we had that fight and never really got a chance to let it get resolved cause we live an hr apart and only get weekends and she was busy with her friends wedding stuff, so its like some distance got in there and now shes burried her head in the sand instead of trying to work it out.

What was the fight about?

Rule #1...Your girl having a "best friend" that's a guy is a BAD idea....Especially if it's her Ex....

whoa whoa whoa.. not that its relevant to rocket, but why do you say this...

 

seems like that would be a fault in whole trust thing...

I think it's more of a history thing then a trust thing.

What was the fight about?

OK well since the begining I've always kind of taken a back seat to the friends it seemed. I was fine with that except one of the friends who only became a friend bout the same time we started dating and it was only cause I knew that girlf from before and knew she was trouble and being since I "knew" about her she didnt like me dating her, so she's constantly tried to cause problems, then they became roommates when one of my current girls friends got married and moved out. Well I've had issues with her allowing this girl to get away with a lot of stuff. Well Shea (current girl) has alwaays said she would never choose anyone over me. I'm about to list what happened for several weekends to explain where my frustration came from, they came in succession

Weekends

1. She went out of town w/ the girl I dont care for the whole weekend

2. we had to help her best friend and husband who doesnt like me cuz of our thing we had move

3. Went home to her parents where you have to kind of not be a couple cause your not married (no big deal)

4. Her little sister was there the whole weekend, same rules as above applied

5. This was supposed to be our weekend that I asked for on weekend number 2. I secretly planned us getting a cabin at a winery for the weekend.

6. Wedding shower out of town

7. Bachlorette part out of town

 

So on weekend number 4 I asked if we were still on for #5, she said yes, then on sunday night of weekend 4 she told me she was going to hang out with her friend that we helpped move and who was going to be with her the next 2 weekends. So here she has broke plans with me. I then explained what I had planned for us, didnt matter, she didnt want to hurt the friends feelings by breaking plans with her. Thats been a problem, she has no problem hurting mine but wont say boo to her friends.

 

After we had the whole fight thing I became pre occupied with her friends being mad and talking about me because we had a fight. This bothered her and it should have, its our relationship, not theres so I shouldnt care what they think but I'm one of those people that want everyone to like me. So thats kind of how we got here

After reading that post I say move on man. She obviously don't make enough time for you thats messed up.

I agree.. It has to go both ways and it sounds like its a one sided fight..

I'm just gonna have to deal with it and each day it will get easier. Try and get myself over this, if she decides she wants to try then we can give it a go but I can't keep beating myself up over this. Worrying will do me no good except make me sick. Shes a smart girl, she will come around, i hope