I know this thread title sounds like something from the 1950's, but the teenagers who have done harm to themselves in NKy the last several years has got me thinking on this subject. My concern is that teenagers who cannot cope with the end of a romantic relationship because of not being emotionally mature enough to handle that kind of rejection, resort to harming themselves.

 

During the teenage years, more than any other, we have a tendency to to draw our self esteem from the acceptance of others. When that acceptance is withdrawn, our self esteem, in many cases, collapses. As parents, we need some kind of Litmus test to determine if our kids are able to cope with that kind of rejection before allowing them to date. What exactly that is, I don't know.

You're not going keep any teenager from dating if they want to date, unless they go to a single-sex school.

You're not going keep any teenager from dating if they want to date, unless they go to a single-sex school.

 

You don't think the kids at Cov Cath, Trinity, St. X, Notre Dame, Assumption, Sacred Heart, etc. have boyfriends or girlfriends?

You don't think the kids at Cov Cath, Trinity, St. X, Notre Dame, Assumption, Sacred Heart, etc. have boyfriends or girlfriends?

 

I thought they were all studying to be priests and nuns?! :idunno:

I know this thread title sounds like something from the 1950's, but the teenagers who have done harm to themselves in NKy the last several years has got me thinking on this subject. My concern is that teenagers who cannot cope with the end of a romantic relationship because of not being emotionally mature enough to handle that kind of rejection, resort to harming themselves.

 

During the teenage years, more than any other, we have a tendency to to draw our self esteem from the acceptance of others. When that acceptance is withdrawn, our self esteem, in many cases, collapses. As parents, we need some kind of Litmus test to determine if our kids are able to cope with that kind of rejection before allowing them to date. What exactly that is, I don't know.

 

Has there been an increase of self inflicted harm lately? I've not heard much of this issue and has it all been related to dating or just to social/peer pressure? My kids are a little older, but did have one go through a breakup after dating for a while. It was hard on him, but he moved on.

I think the reason we hear more on these types of incidents and maybe any real increase (I have no idea if there is an actual statistical increase or not) can both be blamed on social media. I know it has become the scapegoat for a lot in this era, but it has changed the way we socialize and it can easily be abused.

 

And if you don't date as a teen, and you wait til you're 20 to date, you're still going to feel like crap when that first relationship ends and it will feel like nothing you have felt before because no matter how old you are, it will still be the first time.

You're not going keep any teenager from dating if they want to date, unless they go to a single-sex school.

 

And even then there is a lot of "single sex" occurring, if you get my drift.

You don't think the kids at Cov Cath, Trinity, St. X, Notre Dame, Assumption, Sacred Heart, etc. have boyfriends or girlfriends?

 

That's not what I meant...

 

If you don't go to a private school, you can see the boyfriend/girlfriend every day in school and there's not much the parents can do about it. In a private school setting, it would be easier to control since they aren't in school together and they would have to meet after school.

That's not what I meant...

 

If you don't go to a private school, you can see the boyfriend/girlfriend every day in school and there's not much the parents can do about it. In a private school setting, it would be easier to control since they aren't in school together and they would have to meet after school.

 

I went to Moeller (all-boys) and by the time school was over, the hormones were racing. The Mount Notre Dame girls were on the same bus. There are pros and cons with both kinds of situation (mixed or all one gender). Getting back to the topic, having good communication and trust between parents and children is essential. For a young lady growing up, dad needs to set a good example on how men should optimally treat women. That helps when she experiences her first dating disappointment. Same can apply to teenage boys, but techniques are a little different.

You're not going keep any teenager from dating if they want to date, unless they go to a single-sex school.

 

Ummm..I dated a boy from another private school. And I also dated a boy from a public school in a different county.

I think social media is a big factor too. Everyone posts such happy looking moments and pictures with their significant other...And it makes Joe Schmo at home think about how jealous/sad he is being alone.

You're not going keep any teenager from dating if they want to date, unless they go to a single-sex school.

 

Yeah, that won't change it.

Ummm..I dated a boy from another private school. And I also dated a boy from a public school in a different county.

 

Without "help" from your parents? How?

I believe it goes back to the first post. Parents who have a solid relationship with their children - as leaders first, not their friends - who show them love and teach them respect for themselves and others, maintain boundaries and consistent discipline, raise kids who are better prepared to survive the challenges of life.

 

I have seen too many kids who have no boundaries or discipline get into situations they are not prepared to handle. I have seen kids who were the focal point of the parents life...ruled the household if you will....get into real life and can't handle the fact that the world doesn't revolve around them.

Ummm..I dated a boy from another private school. And I also dated a boy from a public school in a different county.

 

At the same time? Atta girl haha!