I am wondering how many of you pay your kids for good grades or doing well in sports. I don't do this because I believe in instrinsic reward and self motivation. I would hate to think that my kid was trying harder because I was giving him $5. for each tackle or basket. I hope that he is giving 100% just because he wants to do his best. What's your opinion?

I started out rewarding good grades with money when my kids were little. It didnt feel right so I stopped. Kids should do their best because they SHOULD do their best. I will admit to taking them out for ice cream or dinner to celebrate good report cards, but that was a spontaneous thing.

 

I have never offered them rewards for sports accomplishments. Kids either have the athletic drive or they dont. I dont think rewards make a difference in those circumstances. In addition you wouldnt want little Johnny to turn into a ball hog on the basketball court so he can get another dollar basket!:lol:

I actually don't have a problem with this. My dad did it to me when I was younger. I got 20 bucks for every home run I hit in little league which came to a grand total of MAYBE a hundred to two hundred dollars a season. It wasn't about effort, it was about giving me a little extra reward for something spectacular. He never payed for average accomplishments like hits, only home runs. He also only did this for a couple of years through little league.

 

I don't really think it affected how much I tried. It was just a little icing on the cake when I did something special. The talks of his disappointment with me when I didn't try my best were all I needed to keep me trying my hardest.

 

Couldn't we compare this to going to college ? Does the thought of a good, high paying career not drive many people to attend and graduate from college ? I know it does with me. I've worked my butt off for the last three and a half years and I hope that it pays off with a good job and a comfortable salary.

 

Also, don't the current jobs many of us have reward us with money for the services we provide ? They wouldn't pay us for long if we continually failed at our jobs.

I've never been a big fan, although colleges and universities certainly tie money to academic performance.

 

I guess my reluctance to hand out money for grades didn't turn out all bad; my oldest child was a National Merit Scholar and my youngest earned a Trustee scholarship at Georgetown.

I don't give any monetary awards, as they are constantly told what is expected of them. I would take away privileges, if the occasion was presented due to inadequate grades.

I'm not a parent yet, but I DEFINITELY WON'T be rewarding my kids for doing well in sports. I may celebrate their accomplishments with them, but I'm not planning on rewarding them so to speak.

 

As for grades, I dunno if I'll do the cash thing, because I don't want them to feel as though he/she could put an exact dollar amount on what an A or B'th worth. To be honest if my child can pull straight A's in high school then I think they'll see in terms of academic scholarship money that it's worth far more than I will likely ever be able to shell out for them for getting all those good grades.

I'd have been broke if I rewarded my kids monetarily for anything! :lol:

 

The poor things (no pun intended) didn't even get allowances.

I told my son I would pay him $10 when he hit his first homerun in little league. I don't think there is anything wrong with it when kids are young.

I wish my parents did this. Maybe I would've hit a few bombs in little league.

I wish my parents did this. Maybe I would've hit a few bombs in little league.

 

Did you hit a home run and if you did what motivated you? He was 9 yrs old and afraid of the fast pitch for the first season.

Did you hit a home run and if you did what motivated you? He was 9 yrs old and afraid of the fast pitch for the first season.

 

I did hit a few homeruns but they were inside the park variety. Still shots to the gap but no fence was involved.

 

Fast pitch is kind of hard to adjust to but it'll come. The only problem I see with offering to pay for a homerun is that your son might try to hit one and that will only make it harder to adjust to the faster pitching. Homeruns will come naturally. No extra effort is needed.

I don't give any monetary awards, as they are constantly told what is expected of them. I would take away privileges, if the occasion was presented due to inadequate grades.

 

You hit the nail on the head. I raised(still raising) 3 kids. My oldest is graduating college this year and he was valdictorian of his class in HS, never made a B. My 2cd son is a senior in HS and also will be valdictorian(never made a B) and has a 30 ACT. Both played football, my youngest a 4 year starter, and my oldest played basketball and baseball as well. My baby girl is a soph this year and, like her brothers, she has never made a B either(if it sounds like Im bragging its because I am). I never allowed ANY extra incentive for grades; they were simply expected. I have told them for years that good grades have the incentives latter allowing you to live the type of life that you want. If it sounds like Im very proud of them, it sounds correct! I have been blessed and I thank God for it every day!:thumb:

I told my son I would pay him $10 when he hit his first homerun in little league. I don't think there is anything wrong with it when kids are young.

 

Do you think this made him try any harder or hit the homerun any sooner? I will never forget my boys 1st homers and neither will they. I think the feeling they got watching the ball go over the fence, the cheers from the fans, and the ball in a trophy case was payment enough.

My kids have said to me that one of their teammates got a new game or money because their team won a championship. They would then ask me what do I get. Thats's when I pat them on the back and say "Good job, I'm proud of You"

I have given rewards, but not of the petty cash variety, not very often, and not for simple things. Never money, only special, meaningfull things.

 

In second grade, I told her I would buy her a new car when she turned 16, if she had straight A's from then (2nd grade) until she turned 16. She got her 1st "B" ever as a freshmen (missed an "A" by .03), so that new car is history. But she'll get a used one since I need a car anyway. I only have a work truck which she can't larn to drive on.

 

In 7th grade, I bet her a Ruth's Chris dinner if she got a scholarship in high school. She did (3rd highest scorer) and we enjoyed our steaks very much thank you. We have made the same bet if she gets accepted into Notre Dame, or a full academic scholarship anywhere.

 

Honestly, I used to hate this idea, but it's how the kids are rewarded in the real world anyway. May as well get them used to it. I just make them very hard to earn and very special.