You see....I am smarter than the average ref.

If I only had a brain (as hummed by the wizard of oz character)

See boys you just got to think about it.

"What's whiter? The Cougar pants or my pasty white legs?"

I think better than I see...

"Do I have a bruise on my face? It doesn't hurt here, or her, but right here".

 

-Tommy Boy

Occifer, may I try again? I'm sure I can touch my nose this time:D

"Headddd, Shoulders, Knees and Toes, Knees And toes!"

Meeee's thinks meeees got the penalty enforcement figured out.

 

 

Bear with me a moment while I use my phone a friend to see if this is right.

When the stadium lights hits those legs, no one in the stands can see the field.

Man, I wish I could remember why I just threw that flag!

Did I leave the iron on when I left the house?

Okay I forget which watch on my arm is for the actual game time and which one is the countdown clock to the next episode of "Dancing with the Stars" and that hot young thing Cloris Leachman

Ohhhhhh!!!!! So this is a football game?!?!??!!

Now where is my nose at?