April 9, 200818 yr Rumor has it a press conference has been called to announce the latest in the investigation
April 9, 200818 yr Security cameras at the scene caught the incident on film. Here is a photo taken from the camera.
April 9, 200818 yr Police dogs cornered a suspect they thought was the perpetrator only to find out too late it was his cousin "Chemical Squirrel Ali"
April 9, 200818 yr After hearing of squirrels all over the Northern Kentucky area being the victims of profiling by police celebrity Rocky J. Squirrel decided to speak out. "There is one bad apple in every barrel," Rocky told reporters "And hundreds of good ones." We were quickly called by two experts on "Moose and Squirrel" who disagree. "We think Squirrel did it." said Boris from his Moscow flat. "There is no doubt." "Moose involved too!" his companion Natasha told reporters.
April 9, 200818 yr An ameteur photographer may have the key piece of evidence... In a sharply worded statement from Alvin and his brothers, he stated unequivocally, "We are sick and tired of being blamed for the squirrels' criminal activites. Me and my homies are just trying to make a little music, hang with the women and have a good time. The Man's portral of all small rodents as criminals smells blatently of specieism and critter profiling."
April 9, 200818 yr (Just for the record: The pitures above are real; I didn't stage it. Have no idea what did it.)I blame global warming.
April 9, 200818 yr Another suspect was released this afternoon when his alibi was substantiated by a number of witnesses.
April 9, 200818 yr There are rumors that the crime is related to the victim's pot possession, the rare red kind.
April 9, 200818 yr For some reason this suspect was miraculously cleared of all charges, Jesse Jackson has threatened to join in the action of this case following this new development.
April 10, 200818 yr This stuff is great, It's as though I'm reading a police report and watching a soap opera.
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.