Comparing spanking to being an NFL QB is a little ridiculous. I'm not passing judgment on anyone, all that I'm saying is that in general I don't believe it's necessary and I can definitively say without doubt that I will never spank my kids or anything else of the sort.

My wife felt the same way you do, boy did she learn.

Comparing spanking to being an NFL QB is a little ridiculous. I'm not passing judgment on anyone, all that I'm saying is that in general I don't believe it's necessary and I can definitively say without doubt that I will never spank my kids or anything else of the sort.

 

You completely missed my point. I was comparing my being an NFL quarterback to you being a parent--both things which we each have no experience. All I can say is someday I'm quite confident you will look back on your statements in this thread and just shake your head at yourself. I am not insinuating that every parent spanks or every child needs it. Just someday if you have a 3 year old screaming bloody murder and kicking the side of the car because she won't get in her car seat, don't be surprised if you swat her on her little behind with the palm of your hand and tell her to get her rear in the car.

I'm done with this thread. Like I have said before, I'm not passing judgment on anyone here but I will never resort to physical force as a punishment, plain and simple. And that you can write down and get back to me anytime in the future.

You completely missed my point. I was comparing my being an NFL quarterback to you being a parent--both things which we each have no experience. All I can say is someday I'm quite confident you will look back on your statements in this thread and just shake your head at yourself. I am not insinuating that every parent spanks or every child needs it. Just someday if you have a 3 year old screaming bloody murder and kicking the side of the car because she won't get in her car seat, don't be surprised if you swat her on her little behind with the palm of your hand and tell her to get her rear in the car.

 

Sometimes spanking a 3 year old screaming bloody murder and kicking the side of the car might make the 3 year old more angry....which defeats the purpose of spanking the child.

Sometimes spanking a 3 year old screaming bloody murder and kicking the side of the car might make the 3 year old more angry....which defeats the purpose of spanking the child.

Okay, here's my last post on this topic. It does not defeat the purpose of spanking the child--the purpose is to get the kid in the car and show him/her that some things are nonnegotiable. I am not concerned if my 3 year old is "angry" over something I have made her do for her own good. She does not have the mental capacity to make those decisions on her own. FWIW, I do not consider a flip on the rear end to be "spanking." The key to successful discipline is not to lose your temper--much easier said than done. Some things kids have a choice on--whether to wear these jeans or those jeans--but getting in the car seat is not one of them. That was only an example, but my point is this. Kids have to know who is boss--I am their mother, not their buddy. Someday when they are grown I hope I am their close friend, but not now. I am a dictator-- a benevolent dictator but a dictator none the less. To be less than that would allow the monkeys to run the zoo. I run a very tight ship, but with 5 children under the age of 11, it is a necessity.

I believe you are coming off a little hard on some people.

 

There are numerous studies dedicated to this kind of thing, it doesn't take a parent to read those.

 

I'm not saying a spanking here or there isn't necessary, I don't know. I'm just saying that you don't have to have kids to have an opinion. I am in a domestic violence class right now, and we've been talking about correct ways to raise a child without these "punishments". Do I believe all of the ways I'm learning will work? I don't know. Do I believe that all of the punishments (Spankings, timeouts) are always bad? I don't know. But I believe I, and others without children, can share our opinions and contribute to the conversation.

 

Halfback no disrespect to your opinion but TTL is right. You don't realize how you may handle a situation unless you have "walked a mile in my/the shoes". I always thought after being spanked (again it was few and far between but was deserved) that I wouldn't do it myself. As I grew older I realized what that discpline taught me. Then I became a parent. As I have already stated before I have spanked my children in the past. Did I enjoy it..NO!!! And most likely it hurt me alot more than them. I am talking a swat on the hand or bottom. There is a HUGE difference in a swat then slapping/punching a child. Some of the examples others have given on here are abuse and down right wrong.

You are welcome to read statistics and whatever other blah, blah, blah on what "researchers" say...doesn't mean they are right...heck I would bet to say some of those "researchers" aren't even parents.

Being a parent is one of the most amazing things in the world but it can also be a very difficult thing at times.

I agree in talking with your children. I agree to let them express themselves as well BUT I can promise you will face a time that no talking, timeout or any other avenue appears to work. What do you do at that point?

Again, we can all have an opinion...not everyone will agree.

Okay, here's my last post on this topic. It does not defeat the purpose of spanking the child--the purpose is to get the kid in the car and show him/her that some things are nonnegotiable. I am not concerned if my 3 year old is "angry" over something I have made her do for her own good. She does not have the mental capacity to make those decisions on her own. FWIW, I do not consider a flip on the rear end to be "spanking." The key to successful discipline is not to lose your temper--much easier said than done. Some things kids have a choice on--whether to wear these jeans or those jeans--but getting in the car seat is not one of them. That was only an example, but my point is this. Kids have to know who is boss--I am their mother, not their buddy. Someday when they are grown I hope I am their close friend, but not now. I am a dictator-- a benevolent dictator but a dictator none the less. To be less than that would allow the monkeys to run the zoo. I run a very tight ship, but with 5 children under the age of 11, it is a necessity.

 

If a 3 year old doesn't have the mental capacity to make the decisions on their own, do you think they have the mental capacity to understand why they are being spanked?

Halfback no disrespect to your opinion but TTL is right. You don't realize how you may handle a situation unless you have "walked a mile in my/the shoes". I always thought after being spanked (again it was few and far between but was deserved) that I wouldn't do it myself. As I grew older I realized what that discpline taught me. Then I became a parent. As I have already stated before I have spanked my children in the past. Did I enjoy it..NO!!! And most likely it hurt me alot more than them. I am talking a swat on the hand or bottom. There is a HUGE difference in a swat then slapping/punching a child. Some of the examples others have given on here are abuse and down right wrong.

You are welcome to read statistics and whatever other blah, blah, blah on what "researchers" say...doesn't mean they are right...heck I would bet to say some of those "researchers" aren't even parents.

Being a parent is one of the most amazing things in the world but it can also be a very difficult thing at times.

I agree in talking with your children. I agree to let them express themselves as well BUT I can promise you will face a time that no talking, timeout or any other avenue appears to work. What do you do at that point?

Again, we can all have an opinion...not everyone will agree.

 

I have never stated that I know 100% what I will do when and if I have children. I've never stated that I know how I will handle these situations. I'm just giving my opinion on spankings and other disciplines.

If a 3 year old doesn't have the mental capacity to make the decisions on their own, do you think they have the mental capacity to understand why they are being spanked?

 

They have the mental capacity to understand if I don't do what Mommy says, then negative repercussions will follow. That is what discipline is all about. (okay, I said I wouldn't say anything else!)

If a 3 year old doesn't have the mental capacity to make the decisions on their own, do you think they have the mental capacity to understand why they are being spanked?

Who cares? They know to STOP, pronto. I know, I raised two kids.

If a 3 year old doesn't have the mental capacity to make the decisions on their own, do you think they have the mental capacity to understand why they are being spanked?

 

Yes.

 

It hurt and was associated with X behavior.

 

Just like eating that little MM was associated with something that tasted good and they wanted more.

I highly doubt that. I will describe in detail the particulars of that situation. I was in a Home Depot in Knoxville, TN about three yerars ago. In the check out line a small girl was asking her father who was a average sized man (I could have told you he was 6'6" or he was Chuck Liddell just to make myself look tougher) what a particular item on the shelf was. The father told his daughter to be quiet and she did so. Later, down the aisle the little girl asked what something else was and the father slapped her across the face and then "spanked" her bottom. At that time I walked up to him and told him that the slap was uncalled for and if he hit the girl again that I would hit him. The man looked at me angrily then dropped his head after he realized that I was not a 8 year old girl or afraid of him. If after witnessing that display of "discipline" you wouldn't have said anything then I think that would be a cowardly act. If I hadn't said anything then I would have been a coward.

 

It is not my place to tell you how to discipline your kids. What gets my craw, is that every time a kid messes up or an adult commits a crime there is a ton of people screaming that the kid probably wasn't spanked and if he had been then he wouldn't be a criminal. The fact of the matter is that all parents have a different way of disciplining their child. There are adults who got spanked as kids that are highly successful and there are kids that got spanked who turn out to be murderers and rapists. The same thing goes for kids who didn't get spanked. What methods an individual parent employs to raise there kids is there business, but when someone crosses the line something should be done.

 

I'm sure all of the super parents on this site will say that my house must be a zoo and that I have no discipline. That is fine by me. I know how to handle my business and I don't spank or hit my kids in order to do it.

 

For those who are quoting scripture, I have this to say. Just becuase I don't spank my child does not mean that I do not discipline them.

 

To the poster you wanted to bet who's kids would turn out better. I'll take that bet and hope and pray that they all turn out fine.

 

Good luck and God Bless.

 

1st Bold - That's abuse, not discipline.

2nd Bold - I don't agree with spanking in public, but that is the perogative of the parent.

3rd Bold - I agree and would have done the same.

4th Bold - If you were just going by percentage or odds, they're probably right. But it doesn't hold true for everyone and I understand that.

5th Bold - Better meaning more disciplined, and that means when I'm not looking either.

6th Bold - As do I.

Yes.

 

It hurt and was associated with X behavior.

 

Just like eating that little MM was associated with something that tasted good and they wanted more.

 

You can't be sure about that. Even if they do know what it's for, they may not respond to being spanked very well. Everyone here thinks that every kid responds the same to being spanked, when that is not true at all. Some kids respond very differently to a spanking.

One thing I must add and waited until later to do so is that after a "spanking" I waited just a few minutes and went and hugged the child and we talked about why it happened. Even when it was just a pat on the diaper...I hugged everytime.

Who cares? They know to STOP, pronto. I know, I raised two kids.

 

How is that helping them for the future? All they know is when they get spanked, to stop what they are doing. Some kids might understand why they need to stop, but some will just know that when mommy or daddy is mad, some one did something wrong. In the future, that could still relate and they may the same things anytime anyone gets mad.