You are assuming that every child is embarrassed and that is not true. I was not embarrassed because I learned at home that when I was spanked it was because of something I DID and needed to stop doing.

 

The bolded is making the argument for spanking. It is something a kid understands. Negative physical reinforcement. Touch a stove and it hurts so don't touch a stove anymore. Kids can handle that.

 

Kids can't handle being removed to timeout for touching the stove and having an explanation given to them about pain that would be associated with touching the stove when they have no concept of the pain that comes with touching a stove. Adults, yes. Kids, no.

 

And allowing kids to get by with THEIR negative actions with what they see as no consequences simply enables them and has more negative consequences then spanking.

 

I hear them all the time talking about how to go to court and what to say and what to wear and how to act and they will have you do something that doesn't mean anything and give you 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 10th chances. And they come out saying they got by with it and continue doing the same thing. Till they have 5 years of doing the same things over and over and over and now have developed habits of doing it rather than one time excursions of doing it.

 

I think it's the other way around. I realize some kids can take it. Seems to me like you are assuming all kids can take it, and I'm saying otherwise.

 

Kids aren't publicly humiliated when they touch a stove. Spanking someone is very demeaning. You wouldn't do that to an adult if they did something wrong. We don't hit our criminals...

 

When did I say timeouts were the way to go? Timeouts don't work for everyone either.

 

Who said that they can't have consequences if you don't spank them? It's like people here assume that with no spanking = no consequences and no parenting at all. You don't have to let them run wild just because you decide to not spank them.

 

I'm not sure I understand the last paragraph.

I think it's the other way around. I realize some kids can take it. Seems to me like you are assuming all kids can take it, and I'm saying otherwise.

 

Kids aren't publicly humiliated when they touch a stove. Spanking someone is very demeaning. You wouldn't do that to an adult if they did something wrong. We don't hit our criminals...

 

When did I say timeouts were the way to go? Timeouts don't work for everyone either.

 

Who said that they can't have consequences if you don't spank them? It's like people here assume that with no spanking = no consequences and no parenting at all. You don't have to let them run wild just because you decide to not spank them.

 

I'm not sure I understand the last paragraph.

 

No I said earlier several times, some things work for some kids, some don't. Was very specific in that.

 

When there are not very tough consequences for some tough kids' actions that have no boundaries put on them at home, they will see themselves getting by with it and it only reinforces their negative behavior. That is the point of the last paragraph.

 

Public humiliation for bad behavior is very evident in an adult's life and we have become a society that has tried to insulate children from that.

 

You cheat on your spouse and when they kick you out of the house, there will be public humiliation that comes from it. When you embezzle from your employer, there will be public humiliation that comes from it. When you beat your kids and spouse (NOT SPANKING BUT ABUSE), there will be public humiliation that comes from it.

 

The ones that are not public humiliated from their actions are properly the ones that weren't publically humiliated from their actions as a kid. AND IMPORTANT HERE DON'T MISS IT, it might be that they didn't think they were doing anything wrong and not the fault of anyone else. They just didn't get it.

I think it's the other way around. I realize some kids can take it. Seems to me like you are assuming all kids can take it, and I'm saying otherwise.

 

Kids aren't publicly humiliated when they touch a stove. Spanking someone is very demeaning. You wouldn't do that to an adult if they did something wrong. We don't hit our criminals...

 

When did I say timeouts were the way to go? Timeouts don't work for everyone either.

 

Who said that they can't have consequences if you don't spank them? It's like people here assume that with no spanking = no consequences and no parenting at all. You don't have to let them run wild just because you decide to not spank them.

 

I'm not sure I understand the last paragraph.

 

When I was 8 and camping at Laurel Lake and saw the lantern and wondered if it was hot so I put my whole hand on it and burnt it, I was a) hurt very bad and knew to never do it again; 2) was humiliated as I did something extremely stupid and my family (cousins and all) did not let me forget it for several years.

No I said earlier several times, some things work for some kids, some don't. Was very specific in that.

 

When there are not very tough consequences for some tough kids' actions that have no boundaries put on them at home, they will see themselves getting by with it and it only reinforces their negative behavior. That is the point of the last paragraph.

 

Public humiliation for bad behavior is very evident in an adult's life and we have become a society that has tried to insulate children from that.

 

You cheat on your spouse and when they kick you out of the house, there will be public humiliation that comes from it. When you embezzle from your employer, there will be public humiliation that comes from it. When you beat your kids and spouse (NOT SPANKING BUT ABUSE), there will be public humiliation that comes from it.

 

The ones that are not public humiliated from their actions are properly the ones that weren't publically humiliated from their actions as a kid. AND IMPORTANT HERE DON'T MISS IT, it might be that they didn't think they were doing anything wrong and not the fault of anyone else. They just didn't get it.

 

As was I. Read my very first post in this thread and get back to me if you think different. :lol:

 

Public humiliation is not the way to teach a child how to do the right things, and for the right reasons. Adults and children are different. That's why we punish adults in the criminal justice system, but we do not do the same for most children. They're brains are still forming...they handle things differently than adults. That's why comparing public humiliation for an adult to that for a child is not a good comparison.

When I was 8 and camping at Laurel Lake and saw the lantern and wondered if it was hot so I put my whole hand on it and burnt it, I was a) hurt very bad and knew to never do it again; 2) was humiliated as I did something extremely stupid and my family (cousins and all) did not let me forget it for several years.

 

Still obviously not the same as being spanked by an adult. Not even close. I've done stupid things in front of family, and I've been spanked in front of family. I knew which one was more embarrassing.

As was I. Read my very first post in this thread and get back to me if you think different. :lol:

 

Public humiliation is not the way to teach a child how to do the right things, and for the right reasons. Adults and children are different. That's why we punish adults in the criminal justice system, but we do not do the same for most children. They're brains are still forming...they handle things differently than adults. That's why comparing public humiliation for an adult to that for a child is not a good comparison.

 

When their actions take on the role of adult actions, they should know and expect the same or very similar consequences of adults.

And on the negative response, I have seen many, many, many kids respond negatively to the passive discipline that occurs too many times today. They see it as enabling and they can take advantage of it rather than true discipline. Yet, when they are disciplined with a firm hand and see they are going to get away with their little games, they respond

 

I have seen this also. Kids need limits and sometimes they just don't get the passive route. Life is full of embarrassing moments. They need to realize it was their own behavior that resulted in the particular consequence.

The way I see it, a child’s behavior will deteriorate if you frequently use reasoning without backing it up with punishment and often the only punishment that will sink in is corporal.

The way I see it, a child’s behavior will deteriorate if you frequently use reasoning without backing it up with punishment and often the only punishment that will sink in is corporal.

 

And many studies of many people disagree saying that corporal punishment hurts, more than it helps.

 

If you ask me, I'll believe the study for the most part. :thumb:

And many studies of many people disagree saying that corporal punishment hurts, more than it helps.

 

If you ask me, I'll believe the study for the most part. :thumb:

I didn't ask you. I'll go with parents who have actually raised children rather than the opinion of someone with zero experience or their liberal sources. :thumb:

I didn't ask you. I'll go with parents who have actually raised children rather than the opinion of someone with zero experience or their liberal sources. :thumb:

 

First of all, "If you ask me" is just a figure of speech. It was not meant specifically for you. Sorry for the misunderstanding there.

 

Secondly, what does this have to do with being liberal or conservative? How are my sources liberal? If they were, how would you know? Because I haven't posted any of my sources...

Can someone give me a brief synopsis of the goings on in this thread?

 

 

I think that spanking children can be beneficial.

Can someone give me a brief synopsis of the goings on in this thread?

 

 

I think that spanking children can be beneficial.

 

For the most part, it is parents vs. non-parents, with a few crossing party lines.

First of all, "If you ask me" is just a figure of speech. It was not meant specifically for you. Sorry for the misunderstanding there.

 

Secondly, what does this have to do with being liberal or conservative? How are my sources liberal? If they were, how would you know? Because I haven't posted any of my sources...

Simple, because liberals always take the anti-spanking route. Why would I think your sources are liberal? You strike me as very left leaning.

For the most part, it is parents vs. non-parents, with a few crossing party lines.

 

I think you are correct....I have read most of this thread, and, until you actually raise children, you really don't know what you will do...children respond differently because they are individuals. However, I don't think I have ever know one parent not to have spanked. As far as someone saying that it is the liberals that don't like the spanking of children...you are so correct. This is a liberal view...I should know, I used to be one until I grew up, worked as a social worker, got married, had children...then, I got smart, changed to a masters in mental heath counseling and have a much more conservative views. You can't have everything you want in this world and MAkE everyone else think your way and act the same way....YUK...individualization is where it is at, baby!!!!