Let’s hear it.

I’ll start.

 

The cows are producing evaporated milk.

It's so hot that I saw a squirrel picking up nuts with a pot holder.

It's so hot, the meth heads are putting the copper back in their air conditioners.

It’s hotter than the devil’s ballsack.

It's so hot the sun had to take a shower.

Hotter than a crack pipe on payday.

One of my favorites from when I was a kid:

 

It is hotter than your neighbor's new bike. (I didn't grow up in the best of hoods). :bunny:

One of my favorites from when I was a kid:

 

It is hotter than your neighbor's new bike. (I didn't grow up in the best of hoods). :bunny:

 

I've heard "It's hotter than a Rolex in Harlem"...which seems to be in the same vein :lol2:

I worked with a guy who used to say, "It's hotter than a hooker's doorknob on nickle night." That one always made me smile.

 

And the expressions doesn't exactly have the same meaning, but after a long, hot stretch without rain, I've also heard it said that, "It's drier than a popcorn fart." That one gets a chuckle out of me too.

It's hotter than a spoon at Lindsay Lohan's house.

It's so hot that if you get in trouble in hell, they send you to Kentucky for punishment.

It’s so hot that the car overheats before you start it.

For what it's worth I once heard a southerner say that it was "Hotter than a popcorn fart".

 

Thought that sounded funny considering I had never heard it from anyone before nor since.

It's hotter than the hinges on the gates of hell.

 

It's hotter'n the devil's armpits.

 

It's so hot, grandpa fed ice cubes to the chickens so they wouldn't lay hard boiled eggs.

 

It's hotter than young love on a park bench.

 

It's hotter than a Sriracha enema.