BGP QOTD: What's the stupidest way you've ever hurt yourself?

[plantmanky]

Whoa, when did Wendy's have breadsticks?

 

Back when they used to have a salad bar.

[mcpapa]

Slid down a banister after driver's ed class. Didn't jump off in time, hit my knee on the bottom post. Stitches and ruined a perfectly good pair of white pants (don't laugh - 75% of golfers wear them now).

 

That's the first one I can think of, but I'm sure there are a bunch of them.

[The Professor]

Craziest thing I ever did that almost resulted in a serious injury, when I was visiting relatives in Florida, was not waiting until my cousin was completely parked in the driveway before opening the back passenger-side door and placing my foot on the pavement. He had pulled to a stop when his wife told him he should pull up a few more feet, which he did. I couldn't move my right foot fast enough and he ran the back tire on my right heel. I immediately shouted for him to "STOP!!!" And he did, right on the spot, thank goodness! If he had gone a mere few more inches I would have had major damage to my foot and probably knee and hip, because I was twisted around in an unusual position with my foot lodged under the tire while my body was still sitting in the backseat.

 

I ended up in the ER for X-rays, which were negative. But my foot and ankle were swollen for a few weeks and very painful to walk around. I couldn't wear a regular shoe, had to buy crocks. And worse, it knocked me out of about 5 weeks of golf. But golf was the culprit that caused this mishap. I've always had a habit of jumping off my cart in level areas while it is slowing down and barely rolling. It's a bad habit but I have always done that, and on this night in March of 2007 I was just drunk enough not to be thinking clearly and that bad habit almost crippled me.

[mcpapa]

This one deserves an honorable mention, mostly because it wasn't me. We had a guy on the high school wrestling team that was as strong as an ox and only slightly less intelligent.

 

He was sitting out practice one day. Said he fell off the trampoline in gym class and sprained his head.

[nkypete]

Is this question about today or my entire life?

[Jumper_Dad]

I have a scar on my right index finger from jumping a bike off of a ramp and jumping too far. I ended up running into a brier thicket and a inch long brier ripped my finger open.

 

I have an identical scar on my left index finger thanks to a Rapala Filet Knife...no I wasn't filleting fish :bag:

[Jumper_Dad]

Stupidest though I was walking around behind a fire truck (I was a volunteer when I was younger) and was talking to a guy when I turned around and ran face first into a ladder that extended back past the end of the truck. Sliced my eye lid in half...took about 30 very small stitches to dew it shut and about 10 very painful shots to numb it. It stayed attached on either end and just tore across the middle. Luckily all of the full time fire fighters were EMT/Paramedics and there were 10 of them within 50 feet of me when it happened.

[nees1212]

May not be the stupidest, but it may be the most pathetic. I injured my back drying off after a shower. I've been stuck on the couch for over a week now unable to sit-up without pain.

[Jumper_Dad]

A good friend a few weeks ago that is in Law Enforcement caught a wanted murder suspect walking down a back road. After taking him into custody and placing him in the car he went to give another officer a high five...dislocated his shoulder :bag:

[Bluto]

A good friend a few weeks ago that is in Law Enforcement caught a wanted murder suspect walking down a back road. After taking him into custody and placing him in the car he went to give another officer a high five...dislocated his shoulder :bag:

I think injuries to sports figures while doing victory celebrations are hilarious.

Edited May 6, 2017 by Bluto

[Bluto]

While whittling on a piece of wood I decided to whittle back towards me. 8 stitches on my thumb.

 

I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but my knife was.

[Bluto]

In 8th grade I got in a fight with a friend. His face took a beating, but I broke 2 fingers on his head.

 

I was the one that went to the hospital...

 

I was strong as an ox. Not smart like an ox, but strong like one.

[swamprat]

I think injuries to sports figures while doing victory celebrations are hilarious.

 

Bill Gramatica comes to mind.

[oldgrappler]

I was camping with my family and the kids kept bugging me to get on my bike and go see this little pond they found back a bike trail. I made the trip and when we decided to leave the pond I waited for them to get ahead of me and then I said this is how you go down this trail. It was blacktop through the woods and down a bit of a grade. I was moving pretty fast when I came to a turn and I tried to slow down applying the brakes. There was a portion of the blacktop that was heaped up and when I hit that spot my front wheel bent and stopped spinning cause it couldn't fit through the brakes any more. I went over the handle bars and landed on my head and right shoulder. Glasses went flying and I just laid there to see if I was all right. Head hurt but my right shoulder was in serious pain. My arm was hanging funny and the shoulder was separated. I remember looking up at my kids who were bent over top of me kind of smiling. They weren't sure if I was hurt or I was just kidding. Well, I do have a sense of humor but...

 

I said, "Go get your mother and tell her to bring the truck." I walked out to the road and they drug my bike and threw it in the back of the truck. My wife drove us 30 minutes to the hospital in Paducah (we were at Land Between the Lakes). Emergency Room gave me a prescription for some pain pills and I spent the rest of the camping trip mostly sitting/sleeping beside the camp fire. My family would go do stuff and when they would come back I would be at a nearby campsite shooting the breeze with people I had just introduced myself to. The pain pills made me a little happy when they were at full strength.

[UK#1fanisback]

I cracked my sternum and had 100 stiches from my ear down under my chin. Went through the passenger side window of my camaro back in 97 walked out of the hospital 5 hours later.