Really really sad story. I wish people, regardless of their thoughts, opinions, and beliefs, would treat others with the dignity and respect that everyone deserves because we are all human.

 

Transgender teen: 'My death needs to mean something'

I was just going to post this. She was from Kings High School near Kings Island. It seems like the mother isn't yet accepting that she is part to blame.

 

I may not understand why a guy wants to be a female why a female wants to be a guy, but that is where it ends, I simply just don't understand so I won't judge.

 

But her parents, taking her to a Christian psychiatrist to deal with the transgender part to change her, but not the much bigger and important issue which was her depression? Taking away her all of her social life? Take away her computer and phone, forbid her to see any friends? How does isolating someone by force help with depression?

 

The mother posted on Facebook that her son was "out for an early morning walk and was hit by a truck"? On a walk, on 1-71?

 

The kid posted stuff on Tumbler to be available after here death, pretty graphic and blunt language blaming the parents. They say that over 40% of transgender people attempt suicide.

 

Sad! I agree with her, things need to change. I would rather have a kid that is gay or transgender than the kid be dead much sooner than they should.

Sad. The whole thing is sad.

I was just going to post this. She was from Kings High School near Kings Island. It seems like the mother isn't yet accepting that she is part to blame.

 

I may not understand why a guy wants to be a female why a female wants to be a guy, but that is where it ends, I simply just don't understand so I won't judge.

 

But her parents, taking her to a Christian psychiatrist to deal with the transgender part to change her, but not the much bigger and important issue which was her depression? Taking away her all of her social life? Take away her computer and phone, forbid her to see any friends? How does isolating someone by force help with depression?

 

The mother posted on Facebook that her son was "out for an early morning walk and was hit by a truck"? On a walk, on 1-71?

 

The kid posted stuff on Tumbler to be available after here death, pretty graphic and blunt language blaming the parents. They say that over 40% of transgender people attempt suicide.

 

Sad! I agree with her, things need to change. I would rather have a kid that is gay or transgender than the kid be dead much sooner than they should.

 

Yep.

Sad. The whole thing is sad.

 

Terribly sad.

 

How bad to things have to be for a teenager to willingly walk in front of a truck on the interstate?

I can't imagine what it must feel like to be a man trapped in a woman's body or vice versa. The emotions this situation causes have to be devastating, especially when added to all the other issues a teen has to deal with even if they are considered "normal". I agree Papa. Just imagine what is going through anyone's mind to willingly walk in front of a trucker on the interstate. Terrible. I also feel bad for the trucker - he will never forget this too.

On a related note, and only because this is the second one in a very short period of time, please don't let "suicide by truck" become a thing. That poor truck driver.......

 

As a parent, there has to come a time when you maybe don't support/endorse/religiously agree with (her mother's words) what your kid thinks, feels, believes, etc. Has happened to me a few times already and no one is CLOSE to being out of the house yet, but you have to find peace for yourself and for your kid. So far, and the issues in my house have not been this life-altering, I will grant you that - but so far, just giving them time and space to figure things out, listening without judging (hard), and sharing your life experiences with them keeps the doors of communication open and everyone ALIVE. That's my A#1 goal as a parent, that they all outlive me.

 

Sexuality is an intensely personal subject, one most of us take for granted in our kids because we see them living our lives, only better, right? Most parents I know STILL bury their heads in the sand when it comes to their child's sex life...not wanting to have "the talk", not wanting to provide protection if needed, even pretending that boy hasn't really been in the shower for 35 minutes when you used to have to beg him to wash his hair on the regular. It's a tough topic, but it's such an important one. And that's for the parents of the STRAIGHT kids.....few are equipped to hear "I'm gay" or "I'm bi" or "I'm transgendered".....but that's better than hearing from the coroner. Just my $.02.

My gut feel regarding parents who try to "pray away" gay feelings their child has or to cite the Bible is that the child is their secondary concern. Their primary concern is themselves and how they will have to handle the situation with friends, family, and the community. It's never first and foremost based in religion.

While I have no knowledge of this situation ( didn't read any link or search it ) -- when something goes bad parenting doesn't come with a manual -- when someone you love is behaving in a way that ( in the parents eyes ) jeopdizes their eternal salvation it easy to make mistakes . The emotion clouds the right decisions . When your families world is totally rocked it's easy to screw up , you hopefully get to look back later and see how badly you blew it . Very sadly thst wasn't the case here . Heart breaking . I love and trust my Heavenly Father but have no problem wondering why He allows children to be so tortured about their sexuality . And gender . I have zero doubt kids are born with homosexual and transgendered tendencies . And my Bible says for them not to follow their heart . Whole thing is just tragic

Hearing this story was like a punch in the gut.

 

My hope for as far back as I can remember is that teens confused by their sexuality could just hang on a bit longer through the depressed isolated feelings that feel like a lifetime, to the time that they can crossover into adulthood, and find peace of mind with who they are, and begin to sort it out within their lives, with or without the loving understanding support of family, while the latter will definitely make a grave difference in their life's foundation for the rest of their lives.

 

This teen hoped that his/her death meant something.

 

If the 9 very wonderfully phrased, and thought provoking open mined posts within this thread are a good representation of the dialogue that is happening on a larger scale, however sad this suicide is, it does thankfully feel that the wish has been granted.

 

Even I, who has never felt the desire to be a girl, was initially perplexed when I came to find that the girl drummer in my band many years ago wished to be a boy, and then proceeded with going through the changes.

 

My gut feeling was that she couldn't face society with being a lesbian, and thought that she felt that if she just became a boy that she could be more in line with what society wanted from her.

 

I was wrong.

 

She truly wanted to be a boy because she felt like a boy trapped in a girl's body.

 

If I didn't initially comprehend what she was going through, then I can completely see where society at large had trouble understanding.

 

With my understanding of myself, it was not a terribly far leap for me to come around to getting what she was trying to say. At that time in my life I had already convinced myself that I had a firm grasp on things because of my own experience, but then came to find that I too still had a lot to learn.

 

Although it's been a long slow process with still a long way to go, it is encouraging that it does feel like society has made many promising strides.

 

With that said, it's still gut wrenching to know that in this age there are still teens contemplating ending it all, and that some still do.

 

Society as a whole may have come a long way, but the most powerful force within a child's development still is within their own family, and with that it's still just a case by case situation. If those situations do not offer understanding within the home, at least it's good to know that in this modern age many kids still can feel that an understanding shoulder is available through various sources to support them until they see themselves to a much more freer day.

 

Sadly, this one teen did not, but hopefully more and more will, and hopefully at the end of the day her death indeed did mean something.

My gut feel regarding parents who try to "pray away" gay feelings their child has or to cite the Bible is that the child is their secondary concern. Their primary concern is themselves and how they will have to handle the situation with friends, family, and the community. It's never first and foremost based in religion.

Never? Always the stigma that the parents feel? I disagree. I would be willing to bet that there are those who are so worried that sin in the lives of their kids would preclude them from making it to Heaven that they may indeed go over the top trying to figure out how to combat it. I understand your point, but I think you paint with a broad brush here. I can't open the link for whatever reason, and don't know any particulars about this case, other than it seems terribly tragic.

Never? Always the stigma that the parents feel? I disagree. I would be willing to bet that there are those who are so worried that sin in the lives of their kids would preclude them from making it to Heaven that they may indeed go over the top trying to figure out how to combat it. I understand your point, but I think you paint with a broad brush here. I can't open the link for whatever reason, and don't know any particulars about this case, other than it seems terribly tragic.

 

I see what you're saying, but Clyde does make a good point with his take on things.

 

I'll use my Mother as an example.

 

She and my Dad were raised devout Catholics who found it extremely important to raise their children the same way.

 

About 10 years before I came out to them, one of my older sisters became pregos before wedlock. My parents, and my Mom especially went bonkers about it. Thankfully the Grandmother/Grandson loving relationship the happened later was a sight to behold, but initially my Mom, although as Catholic as she was, it was more so with her the embarrassment of what the neighbors or parishioners would think about her having a daughter who had "sinned". She even years later admitted to it. Of course she was concerned for her daughter's salvation, but the most prominent thing to trigger her behavior was shame.

 

That shame, although much less 10 years later when I came out, had still fueled her initial reaction of horror when when trying to process what I had just told my parents. Still concerned for my salvation, but once again faced with "What will the neighbors think?" type shame that was much in the forefront.

 

My parents came around, and put all of the shame behind them, and over their experiences with parenthood, had to learn and grow themselves all the while trying their best to be teachers and leaders to us.

 

Their love and support for me was the foundation for the rest of my life, and It was a thing of beauty to see them put aside their shame, and confusion created by their religious beliefs, and just express to me their unconditional love.

 

Now of course all situations are not exactly the same, but what Clyde said does resonate with me a ton when it came to my own personal experience with my parents.

I see what you're saying, but Clyde does make a good point with his take on things.

 

I'll use my Mother as an example.

 

She and my Dad were raised devout Catholics who found it extremely important to raise their children the same way.

 

About 10 years before I came out to them, one of my older sisters became pregos before wedlock. My parents, and my Mom especially went bonkers about it. Thankfully the Grandmother/Grandson loving relationship the happened later was a sight to behold, but initially my Mom, although as Catholic as she was, it was more so with her the embarrassment of what the neighbors or parishioners would think about her having a daughter who had "sinned". She even years later admitted to it. Of course she was concerned for her daughter's salvation, but the most prominent thing to trigger her behavior was shame.

 

That shame, although much less 10 years later when I came out, had still fueled her initial reaction of horror when when trying to process what I had just told my parents. Still concerned for my salvation, but once again faced with "What will the neighbors think?" type shame that was much in the forefront.

 

My parents came around, and put all of the shame behind them, and over their experiences with parenthood, had to learn and grow themselves all the while trying their best to be teachers and leaders to us.

 

Their love and support for me was the foundation for the rest of my life, and It was a thing of beauty to see them put aside their shame, and confusion created by their religious beliefs, and just express to me their unconditional love.

 

Now of course all situations are not exactly the same, but what Clyde said does resonate with me a ton when it came to my own personal experience with my parents.

 

I don't doubt any of what you post. I also understand the point he made, and I'm sure that what he said happens likely more often than not. But let's change the parameters just a little. Let's just say that a child has a particular sinful slant that they simply can't remove themselves from, and it doesn't matter what the sin would be, if the whole purpose of our being here is to make it to heaven then why would it be so out of realm of possibility that the parents would be bent on trying to help the child overcome it? I'd argue that if heaven is our hope and our ultimate goal, if I fall short as a parent in trying to guide my child in that direction the consequences are eternal. Sure there is a social stigma that no one wants to carry, but I'm not buying that it's always the reason parents make decisions that they do.

I don't doubt any of what you post. I also understand the point he made, and I'm sure that what he said happens likely more often than not. But let's change the parameters just a little. Let's just say that a child has a particular sinful slant that they simply can't remove themselves from, and it doesn't matter what the sin would be, if the whole purpose of our being here is to make it to heaven then why would it be so out of realm of possibility that the parents would be bent on trying to help the child overcome it? I'd argue that if heaven is our hope and our ultimate goal, if I fall short as a parent in trying to guide my child in that direction the consequences are eternal. Sure there is a social stigma that no one wants to carry, but I'm not buying that it's always the reason parents make decisions that they do.

 

It's not out of the realm of possibility, and what you're saying makes perfect sense. In many situations it's very likely that it's a combination of both.

 

Their love and support for me was the foundation for the rest of my life, and It was a thing of beauty to see them put aside their shame, and confusion created by their religious beliefs, and just express to me their unconditional love.

Sounds to me like your parents should hold a clinic! Many parents could learn from them.

Interesting story, B-Ball-fan. Also enjoyed reading about how God guided your mom through your sister's experience and showed her the way to love.

 

You are blessed with great parents.