A three-footed dog walks into a bar and says, "I'm looking for the man that shot my paw".

LaWildcat owns a taser…man she is stunning !

Don't get caught up in dangerous cults. Practice safe sects instead.

Indeed!

They told me I had Type A blood. But it was a Type O.

My local store was giving out used batteries, free of charge!

 

AND

The Energizer Bunny was arrested. Charged with battery.

For TB&G---

 

When chemists die, they barium.

The duck said to the bartender, 'put it on my bill.'

I wondered why the baseball kept looking bigger. Then it hit me.

Those, who get too big for their britches, will be exposed in the end.

A guy was driving his new car too fast... He found out how his Mercedes bends.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

I may be gneiss, but don't take me for granite.

 

Great thread, hoops5.

Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was in tents.

First joke I ever made up when I was 8 years old

 

 

What do you call a small mouthwash? Microscope

First joke I ever made up when I was 8 years old

 

 

What do you call a small mouthwash? Microscope

 

As a kid, I used to check out joke books from the library and tell them to my older sibs and their friends. First joke that I memorized was this:

 

"Why does Santa Clause have 3 gardens?"

So he can hoe hoe hoe.