Make Johny Carson proud!

 

It is so cold outside... (Audience-how cold is it?)

 

It is so cold,__________________________________!

My outy became an inny....

I can't take credit for any of these, but after combing through literally hundreds of bad ones these stood out to me.

 

4. It's so cold that sucking on an ice-cube makes it bigger.

 

3. It's so cold that I had lunch at the "Greasy Spoon" just for the heartburn.

 

2. It's so cold that hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs.

 

... and the Number 1 "It's so cold" joke...

 

1. It's so cold that lawyers had their hands in their own pockets. :banana:

It's so cold I didn't have to use any anesthesia today.:ylsuper:

......I passed a Greyhound Bus and the dog was riding on the inside.

 

......That door to door salesmen are sticking to the screen door.

...Randy and Getslow huddled for warmth.

...Randy and Getslow huddled for warmth.

 

... and hockey players didn't fight 'cause they're huddling for warmth too.

It's so cold I saw a guy chipping a fart off of his pants!

members of Congress were burning copies of the Affordable Care Act to keep warm.

It's so cold that my balls have become ovaries!

This one is true.

 

My deep-freeze in the garage has become a heater.

It's so cold out that all the local schools decided that the children didn't need an education all that bad.

It's so cold out that all the local schools decided that the children didn't need an education all that bad.

 

Minneapolis called and told us to grow a set.

So cold that global warmers were burning copies of Al Gore's book for warmth.