Yeah, so I have been engaged for a couple of months now and am starting to really wonder if it was the right thing to do. At the time, it really seemed like the only thing to do, but that certainly wasn't the case. We have rushed things it seems like, and we are really starting to find out each other's major flaws. I truly love her, but really have no idea what to do. Any advice?

Yeah, so I have been engaged for a couple of months now and am starting to really wonder if it was the right thing to do. At the time, it really seemed like the only thing to do, but that certainly wasn't the case. We have rushed things it seems like, and we are really starting to find out each other's major flaws. I truly love her, but really have no idea what to do. Any advice?

 

 

Yeah, have a long engagment, and make sure that you two really want to spend the rest of your life with each other. If not, then go your seperate ways.

Truly loving someone is accepting them warts and all. If some of these major flaws are something neither of you can live with then it's time to move on.

Pray she isn't a BGP member.

I agree with all of the above.

 

If your flaws bother each other now, imagine how bad it will be 10 years down the road.:taz:

Pray she isn't a BGP member.

 

:lol:

I would ask 00Rocket28 what to do. He is the Dr. Phil of BGP.

Okay, you asked and this is long. First thing I would do is sit down and talk to her. Really talk about how you are concerned that you guys are rushing things and let her know you want to work it out together. Perhaps she is feeling the exact same way? Engagements can be pretty stressful anyway, so cut yourself a little slack if you are feeling panicked right now. You did not say how long you've known each other, but IMO the time factor is important. My husband and I did not have a single disagreement, seriously, for about the first year and a half we were dating. It takes a while for someone's "flaws" to come out and that is when you figure out if the relationship is going to make it or not. Only you can decide what kind of "flaws" you can live with. It is cliched, but nobody is perfect and you probably drive her nuts with the things you do, as well. It's the degree of nuts that matters. For example, my husband absolutely cannot load a dishwasher. If I leave it up to him, he will get about 8 dishes and probably 10 cups in the entire thing. Me, I can get the entire 14-place place setting in there! Yes, sometimes when I see what he's done it drives me crazy but you know what--at least he tries. He could leave it out for me to clean up like the maid, but he doesn't. So I would rather live with someone like him mangling the dishwasher than someone who can load it like me, but doesn't have all his great qualities. My point is, little quirks will come up and you will have to deal with them. I knew that our relationship was right when I felt my heart ache if I didn't get to see his face. I knew I simply did not want to live without him in my life, flaws and all. We've been together now almost 18 years and nothing has changed. We might get on each other's nerves at times, but we miss each other terribly when we are apart. Neither one of us would want to live without the other, and that is what makes a marriage great. Honestly, physical attraction doesn't hurt, either! Good luck to you--a wonderful, loving, exciting marriage is the best thing in the world!:thumb:

Just to ask a few questions here...

 

1) Are you guys starting to wedding plan? Are the pressures of the wedding planning part of what is going on? That can lead to a lot of heated discussions.

 

2) Do you live together?

 

3) Have you discussed any of these problems with your future spouse? If you cannot talk about issues during the engagement phase, think about issues on down the road.

I would ask 00Rocket28 what to do. He is the Dr. Phil of BGP.

My thoughts exactly! :laugh::laugh::laugh:

Okay, you asked and this is long. First thing I would do is sit down and talk to her. Really talk about how you are concerned that you guys are rushing things and let her know you want to work it out together. Perhaps she is feeling the exact same way? Engagements can be pretty stressful anyway, so cut yourself a little slack if you are feeling panicked right now. You did not say how long you've known each other, but IMO the time factor is important. My husband and I did not have a single disagreement, seriously, for about the first year and a half we were dating. It takes a while for someone's "flaws" to come out and that is when you figure out if the relationship is going to make it or not. Only you can decide what kind of "flaws" you can live with. It is cliched, but nobody is perfect and you probably drive her nuts with the things you do, as well. It's the degree of nuts that matters. For example, my husband absolutely cannot load a dishwasher. If I leave it up to him, he will get about 8 dishes and probably 10 cups in the entire thing. Me, I can get the entire 14-place place setting in there! Yes, sometimes when I see what he's done it drives me crazy but you know what--at least he tries. He could leave it out for me to clean up like the maid, but he doesn't. So I would rather live with someone like him mangling the dishwasher than someone who can load it like me, but doesn't have all his great qualities. My point is, little quirks will come up and you will have to deal with them. I knew that our relationship was right when I felt my heart ache if I didn't get to see his face. I knew I simply did not want to live without him in my life, flaws and all. We've been together now almost 18 years and nothing has changed. We might get on each other's nerves at times, but we miss each other terribly when we are apart. Neither one of us would want to live without the other, and that is what makes a marriage great. Honestly, physical attraction doesn't hurt, either! Good luck to you--a wonderful, loving, exciting marriage is the best thing in the world!:thumb:

 

 

On a serious note....what she said!!!!

Yeah, don't ask us...me.

 

If you have any kind of second thoughts let that be a key. I had in my first marriage....look at that statement right there. When its right....Elvis had it right..."Wild horses can't keep you away from her". See my second marriage. You will know. Good Luck.

Just to ask a few questions here...

 

1) Are you guys starting to wedding plan? Are the pressures of the wedding planning part of what is going on? That can lead to a lot of heated discussions.

 

2) Do you live together?

 

3) Have you discussed any of these problems with your future spouse? If you cannot talk about issues during the engagement phase, think about issues on down the road.

 

1 Yes

2 no

3 yes

 

seriously guys thanks for all your help...I won't go into great detail about our poroblems, but they have gotten to a pretty significant point. I really don't know what to do. On one hand, I do love her, but I could see myself without her.

1 Yes

2 no

3 yes

 

seriously guys thanks for all your help...I won't go into great detail about our poroblems, but they have gotten to a pretty significant point. I really don't know what to do. On one hand, I do love her, but I could see myself without her.

Dude, sounds like it's over.

Yeah, that's what i'm thinking.

Run...