I've just returned home from my 25th high school reunion...and now I'm depressed. I had a feeling this reaction was going to come, and now it's here. I was fine at the reunion, and fine saying goodbye to various old friends, and fine going home, fine dropping off a friend at their apartment. But when I got out of the van, here at the house...in the stillness...and quiet...it hit me. So here I am, spilling my guts to all of BGPland. It's quite therapeutic actually.

 

Now I am a notoriously emotional guy (just ask around BGP ), so maybe it's just my usual overreaction. But it hit me, at that moment, that maybe I'll never see some of those folks again. And the ones I do see again, it might not be for another five years. But the hardest part of all is the finality of it all.

 

I was lucky enough to have been part of the reunion planning committee for the past six months. We got together on a regular basis to plan, discuss, chat, gossip, and "consume mass quantities." It's been an absolute blast! The people on the committee are top notch and just the most enjoyable people to be around. The funny part is, I was pretty much a misfit in high school. And yet they welcomed me into their circle with open arms. I'm going to miss that--and them--the most.

 

Now, one of those folks is a BGPer; and I hope he reads this. Because he said some things to me tonight that really hit home. He gave me a new perspective on the idea of being part of the "in" crowd. He, in my eyes, was one of the cool people back in the day. But I think I learned tonight that those social barriers existed mostly between my own two ears. That's kind of a shame really.

 

So, here I am depressed, typing away, while trying to decide whether to actually post this, or to just delete it--having served its purpose. Anyway, I hope to still get together with my fellow committee members from time to time. If not, it's going to be a LONG five years until the next reunion!

 

Well I guess I better find some purpose for this thread, other than as a self-serving emotional release. So how about a question?

 

No, that's not the question.

 

Were you part of (what you thought) was the "in" crowd, or the "cool" people back in high school? Do you think a lot of that kind of social stratification is simply in the minds of those who find themselves on the outside, or is it real? And if you'd like to throw in a funny reunion story or two, that would be okay too.

 

No way am I telling any tales about tonight! Maybe after a couple of years. :thumb:

Edited August 31, 200818 yr by Birdsfan

I would have considered myself to be one of those in the "in" crowd if I didn't go to the school that I went to.

 

I was an athlete, always nominated for home coming courts and such, never had a problem getting a good looking date on the weekend.

 

That being said, I went to the County School and to be honest, we didnt really have groups. It's almost like we were a completely different breed of people when compared to a few of the other schools around us. None of us, guys anyway, took longer than 10 minutes to get ready and our idea of a good time was drinking around a fire and playing the guitar.

 

I now date a girl who went to the city school. She often talks about how much more comfortable she is around my friends than she was around hers in high school. She says it's mainly because we really didn't have groups. Anyone who wanted to drink (or be a reliable dd) was welcome to join in on the fun. She talks about her school and how they had so many different groups and that it took the guys just as long to get ready for a date as it did the girls:lol:

 

I hung out with a pretty wide variety of people in high school. The group of people I ran around the most with consisted of myself, a couple of other football players, a band member, a choir member, a preachers son, and one of the oddest dirt bike racers you'll ever meet (he was actually good enough to be sponsored by Yamaha). It was a melting pot of kids, and I wouldn't have had it any other way.

I was one of those that moved in and out of all crowds.

 

I hung out with the band people, the athletes, the "in" crowd, the farmers, etc.

Guess why now that I am out of HS for 25 years, I don't really have any close friends from HS and no great desire to attend my HS reunion.

 

Never really liked HS all that much.

I've been out of HS for 44 years. We had one HS reunion, 25, it was OK , not great. Ihad moved on with life and had not kept in touch with friends from school. I also was one of those that got along with all , I was in the band, was a cheerleader, and dated a basketball player . I like my friends now. Even though I became a teacher , I never liked HS . So BF enjoy your life now and the friends now , those are gone and may never cross paths again. :thumb:

I played sports, dated who I wanted, did the homecoming king etc but I thrived on being friends with everybody in our class. There are a lot of old teachers that still say we had the best class ever that has been through our school. I think it's because we didn't really have a "in crowd". We tried hard to involve everybody we could in our class. We've got a reunion coming up and I've tried to get in touch with every person that was in our class regardless of who they hung out with or how much money they had in high school. I really love my class and feel your pain about missing the family you grew up with inside the school walls!

Was never part of the "in crowd"..believe it or not, I was to insecure to be part of anything. I hated HS....was a straight A student but hated everything about it. MrRk and I went to my 25 class reunion and I know this will sound awful..and it is...but I went to see how everyone had aged. I saw that I look way better than "most" of the cheerleaders and I left a happy woman:D I will probably never attend another reunion.

I was one of those that moved in and out of all crowds.

 

I hung out with the band people, the athletes, the "in" crowd, the farmers, etc.

Guess why now that I am out of HS for 25 years, I don't really have any close friends from HS and no great desire to attend my HS reunion.

 

Never really liked HS all that much.

 

See, that's why we agree on so many things -- our HS experiences were so similar.

 

Our school was small, and I tried to be friendly with everyone. I really only consider a couple people my close friends, and they're the only ones I keep track of. Our 20th is this year, and I've not heard if a reunion is planned. Regardless, I won't go. If I want to see those people, all I have to do is spend a couple days in Warsaw, as most of them haven't advanced beyond that.

I loved, LOVED, LOVED high school. Everything about it. I was very involved in several different things: sang in the Glee Club, acted in plays, National Honor Society, community service projects, went to DeSales football games every Friday (except when Trinity and X were playing)etc. I had friends from all the different "groups", and some that weren't in any group. I was fortunate to be one of those people who could move in and out of circles. We haven't had a formal reunion since our 5th. But, I run into people I went to school with every once in a while, and I'm always surprised that they remember me. I never considered myself a "memorable" sort. :lol: Of course there were only 75 students in my graduating class, so I guess it would be harder to forget somebody than if there had been a few hundred.

Never really thought of if I was in the "in crowd" or not. Never really cared one way or another what anyone ever thought of me or those that I hung around with. Cliques were never my thing, it didn't matter to me what "group" you hung with or what your "coolness" level was.

Got a letter in the mail last week about our 25th reunion. I believe it's next month sometime. I went to our 5 year, but haven't been to any others. The sad thing was: You kow how you get that letter, and attached is the names of all the folks they can't find? I belive 3/4 of our class was on that list, and I went to a pretty big School. Haven't decided yet if I'm going, but I would like to see some old friends.

I LOVED school. I was not in any group. I was involved in so many things. I think that is why I was not in any crowd. I think that people get into a group of people who have the same things in common. Because I was in the band, cheerleading, volleyball, basketball, and track, I found things in common with people in all groups. I think that everyone would be accepted in groups that they would not expect themselves to be welcomed in. I think it is the insecurities in ourselves that will not let us venture out and meet people in other groups.

Well, the sun came up this morning....that's something. But I think I need to go back and clarify what I said above. It was really late and I was really exhausted.

 

I didn't mean to sound like I was demonizing, or even blaming, those that I called "the in crowd." In fact, I never had any ill feelings toward them back then, and liked most of them a lot. I just didn't feel like I would fit in. Oh sure, every school has their share of snobs; and we had a few. But those aren't the people I'm referring to. I wouldn't have wanted to hang out with the snob types anyway.

 

I was probably like a lot of shy kids--insecure, and with maybe a few self-esteem issues. I wasn't a jock, or a super-student, or a rebel. So that left me out of most of the "cool" groups. I hung out with kids that were on the fringe--the nerds, the geeks, the "different," and the miscellaneous oddballs.

 

But the seperation I perceived was mostly just, I think, a function of my own fears and insecurities. Rejection was The Boogie Man in every kid's closet. Well he and I were pretty close companions back then. He even let me call him "Rej."

 

Anyway, I just wanted to clarify that I was not assigning blame. Those people I was so afraid of turned out to be pretty much just like me, although maybe a little richer and more successful in some cases. And it turns out that most of them had the same issues that I did in high school. They were just a little better at getting past them.

I guess I was considered a jock in high school and part of the in crowd but its pretty sad that I have been out of school since 1989 and our class has not had one reunion yet. I am really hoping that a 20th Reunion will happen. I still see some of my good friends from high school from time to time because this area is just so small and close knit but there are some folks I havent seen since high school that I would love to talk to and catch up with.

 

I guess I should probably grab the bull by the horns and start a committee and just do it myself. We only had 72 kids in our class so it cant be that difficult.

I guess I should probably grab the bull by the horns and start a committee and just do it myself. We only had 72 kids in our class so it cant be that difficult.

That's what a friend of mine did when he sensed that noone else was going to do it. He started a Yahoo group for our class and began spreading the word around to get people signed up to it. Once they were on board, they received regular updates and announcements, right up until the day of the reunion. Go for it! :thumb:

That's what a friend of mine did when he sensed that noone else was going to do it. He started a Yahoo group for our class and began spreading the word around to get people signed up to it. Once they were on board, they received regular updates and announcements, right up until the day of the reunion. Go for it! :thumb:

 

Thanks, that is a great idea. I better start now, the end of 2008 is approaching.

 

Congrats on your 25th reunion. Whatever happened to 83Bird? I havent seen any post from that guy in a while.