Something in Mexitucky's post "What a difference a year makes" made me think about this subject.

 

He mentioned his twin sons and one making the 6th grade basketball team and one getting cut last year, and how devastated they both were about the situation. Now, their particular situation is a little different, but I experienced something last year that kind of surprised me.

 

As many of you know I coach youth basketball and I coach kids the same age as Mexi's kids. Many, heck I'd say even most of the middle school kids I get were cut from their respective middle school grade team. I get a few that didn't even try out, but for the most part the kids try out for their teams and don't make the roster.

 

Well, last year and this year both I had a handful of kids that were literally devastated that they were cut. Even greatly upset some of their parents, to the point a couple of mother's just breaking down and being really emotional. I guess my question is...is this normal today? Or maybe it's always been the case and I just didn't know it?:idunno: I don't seem to remember it being like that in my younger days.

Time's have changed for sure in all sports. In the old days, not many mom's were involved in their kids sports activities for one. Secondly, there are more options for kids to play the sport they love whether it be at a high club type level or simply a recreational level. Once they get into middle school all of these kids are put into one pot and there simply is not room for everyone. Granted most everyone has an inflated value of their kids abilities, but no parent wants to see their kid hurting. The thing that we do not give kids today enough credit for is their resiliency and they seem to be able to pick up the pieces and move on to the next task rather quickly. Parents on the other hand have a lot more emotion perhaps because of the time and/or money they have devoted to their kids activity.

Something in Mexitucky's post "What a difference a year makes" made me think about this subject.

 

He mentioned his twin sons and one making the 6th grade basketball team and one getting cut last year, and how devastated they both were about the situation. Now, their particular situation is a little different, but I experienced something last year that kind of surprised me.

 

As many of you know I coach youth basketball and I coach kids the same age as Mexi's kids. Many, heck I'd say even most of the middle school kids I get were cut from their respective middle school grade team. I get a few that didn't even try out, but for the most part the kids try out for their teams and don't make the roster.

 

Well, last year and this year both I had a handful of kids that were literally devastated that they were cut. Even greatly upset some of their parents, to the point a couple of mother's just breaking down and being really emotional. I guess my question is...is this normal today? Or maybe it's always been the case and I just didn't know it?:idunno: I don't seem to remember it being like that in my younger days.

 

Now days everybody thinks little Johnny is the best player ever.

I blame soccer and with that, the invention of the soccer mom.

I blame soccer and with that, the invention of the soccer mom.

 

Completely ridiculous. If you think making a soccer team isn't hugely competitive, I highly recommend you check out what goes into it at some high schools and with the traveling club teams.

 

It's a symptom of the modern age and the generation of latchkey kids that are now parents.

Completely ridiculous. If you think making a soccer team isn't hugely competitive, I highly recommend you check out what goes into it at some high schools and with the traveling club teams.

 

It's a symptom of the modern age and the generation of latchkey kids that are now parents.

 

ha ha...I guess I forgot to put a sarcastic emoji on there to show I was kidding! Gotcha!

Now days everybody thinks little Johnny is the best player ever.

 

No doubt there is some truth in that for some parents. But this hasn't been the case for us. One case in particular, the parent is very aware that their son isn't the most talented kid...but the kid and parents both wanted so badly for him to make the ms team, and player and especially mom were just very emotional that it didn't happen. Kid ended up playing most of the minutes every game for us last year and would have hardly moved off the bench had he made the ms team, and parents realize that now and he's playing with us again this year after being cut again. Parent made the comment at practice the other night that they actually think it's the best thing for him and somewhat glad now that their son didn't make the team this year as he will actually get an opportunity to play with us.

I used to take a hard stance with kids getting cut, but as I've aged, I have mellowed. I saw Randy Anderson, whom I have the utmost respect for, basically tell kids they were cut with the most grace of anyone I've ever seen do that deed. He said something to the effect that we aren't saying we couldn't use you in the future, just not right now. So, go work hard on your games and keep your head up and try it again next season, and I look forward to seeing how you've all worked and progressed.

 

Just brilliantly, tactfully handled.

Completely ridiculous. If you think making a soccer team isn't hugely competitive, I highly recommend you check out what goes into it at some high schools and with the traveling club teams.

 

It's a symptom of the modern age and the generation of latchkey kids that are now parents.

While you may be right, ok, probably are. I like any answer that is "blame soccer".

While you may be right, ok, probably are. I like any answer that is "blame soccer".

 

:no:

This year I've taken on the task of coaching my daughter's archery team. The team roster is limited to 24. While this really isn't an issue most of the year as most tournaments everyone can shoot, it will be an issue when we get to regional/state/nationals. Only your 24 team members can shoot then. How do you explain to a 3rd, 4th, or 5th grader that they can't all of sudden shoot. Even though it was explained to them last year I saw a lot of tears at state.

I used to take a hard stance with kids getting cut, but as I've aged, I have mellowed. I saw Randy Anderson, whom I have the utmost respect for, basically tell kids they were cut with the most grace of anyone I've ever seen do that deed. He said something to the effect that we aren't saying we couldn't use you in the future, just not right now. So, go work hard on your games and keep your head up and try it again next season, and I look forward to seeing how you've all worked and progressed.

 

Just brilliantly, tactfully handled.

 

I had a similar talk from the coach as an 8th grader. Told me it came down between me and another kid as the last player, and he just thought the other kid could help more right now. Which, as a coach now it really don't make sense to me when I think back on it...I was a big man and though very raw I had ability. The other kid was a run of the mill guard that they had a dozen of. Well, I guess I showed how wrong that coach was. The other player went on and could not make the high school team, where as I continued to get better and better, played all four years in high school, played high level ball while in the Army and all but for a back injury, had a decent chance of walking on to a Div 1 program. Thanks coach.:lol2:

Sports have become very competitive at the lower levels. The days of rec ball/sports are pretty much over, as everyone is playing in some sort of "select" league, even if is just select in name only. The worst part is the focus is not on fundamentals and skills, but squeezing as many games and tournaments onto the schedule as possible. Because these kids play in select leagues, many parents have an inflated view of how good their kids are. When these kids eventually get cut (and if it isn't in middle school, it will happen in high school.....high school varsity basketball teams typically only have a max of 3-5 kids from each grade level) it's tough for them to deal with. Many have never had to try out and make a team, or have always been able to make a team. It's tough to see your kids fail, but you need to take it as a teaching moment. You can't always win. Getting cut from the middle school basketball team was the best thing that ever happened to my youngest son, as he found another sport that he is now excelling in.

Everybody gets a participation trophy today.

I'm helping coach a 7th-8th grade combo team of kids that were cut from the A team. Had our first practice last night. Great attitudes on this group of kids. Looking forward to seeing them develop over the course of the year.