Ok, great story on how to handle it in public, but what about the message boards??? With the cloak of anonymity, I think folks take it to an even worse level, knowing there will be no such reprecussions.....And we all feel free to comment on other schools' staffs, because there are no reprecussions there either.

I have heard a story of a coach (I believe it was about Mac Whitaker from Harrison County) that used to have a coach-parents meeting before the season started. Basically he'd say that if a player OR his parents ever complained about playing time, how they were being used, etc., they were gone from the team. Right then and there. The story I heard talked about how that first year one of his better players was involved in such a situation (don't remember if it was the player or the parent complaining)...and he stuck true to his word, and they were gone. When the administration backed him up, it set a precedent and everybody else fell into line and knew not to screw around with these silly games from then on out.

 

If that's a true story, then I wish more coaches were backed up by their administration that way. If you want to talk about a coach's performance at the end of the season, that's fine. But, if you (as a school) have hired him to do a job, then let him (or her) do it their way. If more parents were worried about the repercussions of their big mouths, then perhaps they'd be more likely to keep them shut.

 

Thats good, but what if it is a good kid who dont complain, good player, or jsut wants to be part of the team and one who cant help his parents are idiots and do you punish the kid for his dumb parents.

Ok, great story on how to handle it in public, but what about the message boards??? With the cloak of anonymity, I think folks take it to an even worse level, knowing there will be no such reprecussions.....And we all feel free to comment on other schools' staffs, because there are no reprecussions there either.

 

Dont read the message boards.

The proliferation of "select" leagues, especially in baseball, basketball and soccer have every parent believing their kid is the next "big thing". The reality is anyone with money to spend can play in these "select" leagues. Parents have to recognize that it takes a unique set of circumstances for your kid to get that scholly, a lot of which depends on the kid hitting the genetic lottery. Most kids just don't have the physical makeup (size/speed) to play at the next level.

 

The parents that whine, complain and constantly criticize make games less fun to watch, and you know if they are doing it at games in public, imagine what goes on at home at the dinner table. I understand wanting to be an advocate for your child....but being a jackwagon at games isn't the way to do it.

 

The only sport where I don't see a lot of these problem is wrestling. It's pretty easy to see in that sport how good (or average) your kid really is.

Ok, great story on how to handle it in public, but what about the message boards??? With the cloak of anonymity, I think folks take it to an even worse level, knowing there will be no such reprecussions.....And we all feel free to comment on other schools' staffs, because there are no reprecussions there either.

 

More often than not coaches can figure out who is behind that cloak of anonymity because people will say something to the coach privately and then say it on the message board. Also, parents who will criticize the coach on the message board will also pump up little Johnny as well. It's normally not hard to figure out who is who. The loudest mouths can't help themselves.

More often than not coaches can figure out who is behind that cloak of anonymity because people will say something to the coach privately and then say it on the message board. Also, parents who will criticize the coach on the message board will also pump up little Johnny as well. It's normally not hard to figure out who is who. The loudest mouths can't help themselves.

 

Yep yep.

Thats good, but what if it is a good kid who dont complain, good player, or jsut wants to be part of the team and one who cant help his parents are idiots and do you punish the kid for his dumb parents.

 

So you're saying the opposite is fine? Rewarding a kid with dumb, loud-mouth parents who try to bully you into playing their kid over the quiet, good player who just wants to be part of the team (but who also has parents who respect you as a coach and therefore say nothing)? I know, I know, you're not fine with that either. Just putting it in print, though, for argument's sake.

 

I guess my feeling is this. As soon as parents know that the coach has the ultimate say so, and his word is law, and if he institutes such a policy...they'll shut up. But, if there's any sign of weakness (from the coach, from the principal, from the board office, from the super, etc.) they'll exploit it like a pack of hyenas finding the youngest/weakest during a hunt. It's got to be a black and white policy. Too many shades of gray for it to be effective.

And we all feel free to comment on other schools' staffs, because there are no reprecussions there either.

 

At the end of the day, if I think a prominent 9th Region basketball coach stinks and his teams will always underachieve, why should there be reprecussions? "A", in this case, I don't name him, and "B", in face-to-face conversations with people nearly everyone privately agrees. So while I choose not to name him, even if I did, why shouldn't I feel comfortable commenting on another program's staff?

 

I think a huge problem is you have people who "cover" (using the term loosely) high school sports who become buddy-buddy with coaches and players and then lose all objectivity in terms of evaluating them and setting realistic expecations. There are a lot of people that follow sports that are sheep, they'll follow what people say and believe it as fact even if the person stating it has little to no credibility, and now you have these people covering it with agendas (or, innocently, just subconsciously can't help themselves because it is hard to honestly evaluate your friends and young people you're trying to get inside info from). That, to me, is the biggest change over the last 20 years. Not for the better.

A lot of the problem is also that kids hear it at home and it follows them to practice. Like little Johnny's dad says he is better and should be starting over the other guy or the coach should throw more to you. Kids eventually go along with parents because it reinforces their ego.

 

I have always tried to refrain from second guessing my kid's coach in their presence. Nothing positive can come from it. Also, if they would complain about the position they play, playing time, etc., I would always try to point out that sometimes what is best for them personally may not necessarily be what the coach feels is best for the team.

Luckily that's something I haven't had to put up with...very little anyway.

 

I had a 5th grader on my 5/6 team last year. He clearly had 3 players above him at his position, however, he got a LOT of playing time, and even played more in a lot of games than the kids who played over him because of lopsided scores, etc. We are playing in Lex one night, close game, we keep getting the lead and then giving it back. This particular kid doesn't play a lot this game, makes too many mistakes and didn't play well when he was in on this night. It's a 1-2 point game back and forth down the stretch, I don't put him in as it gets late in the 2nd half, keep my best players out on the floor to try and win the game. We have a kid foul out, I put another kid off the bench. Well, this 5th graders mom SCREAMS at me from across to floor to put her son in the game. Shocked me to start with as this stuff doesn't usually happen with us, and then really kinda ticked me off. The dad barely acknowledged my existence as we were leaving the gym. And yes we won on a last second shot. After the game I reflected and thought, if that's how it is all the time for some coaches, then I don't know that it would be worth putting up with that stuff all the time.

 

How much time did the kid get?

Problem is...most coaches see it as it is in reality. Some parents live in la la land where their kid is the next great D-1 player and destined for the NBA, NFL, etc. Rarely is it the other way around.

 

I was a 5th/6th grade boys basketball coach for a few years. While I agree plenty of problem parents, I can tell you from my experinence not enough attention goes toward coaches. Parents aren't always the problem. Not all coaches truly get the game even more so on 1-8 level. All schools are different and thats my point. I can tell you if I had a kid playing for a few of the coaches I coached against I'd probably be upset to.

Yes it is bad!

Unless the parents sit in on every practice, see what the coaches see, understand the chemistry, understand the coaches philosophies, they should stay out of the coaches business. It should be up to the administration who does the hiring and firing of these coaches to better understand what is going on in the coaches minds. If a coach is that bad, shouldn't the ones that hire and fire him be held accountable as well? nobody ever blames the AD or principal for a bad hire. They always blame the coach.

 

I'm torn on this issue because I don't live in a world where coaches are infallible.

Excuse me?

 

I spit out my drink. I know he didn't mean it that way. But man LOL

I have always tried to refrain from second guessing my kid's coach in their presence. Nothing positive can come from it. Also, if they would complain about the position they play, playing time, etc., I would always try to point out that sometimes what is best for them personally may not necessarily be what the coach feels is best for the team.

 

I agree with this 100%. Bad mouthing any person who has some sort of authority over your child in your childs presence lessens the respect your child will show that authority figure.

I'm torn on this issue because I don't live in a world where coaches are infallible.

 

I was a 5th/6th grade boys basketball coach for a few years. While I agree plenty of problem parents, I can tell you from my experinence not enough attention goes toward coaches. Parents aren't always the problem. Not all coaches truly get the game even more so on 1-8 level. All schools are different and thats my point. I can tell you if I had a kid playing for a few of the coaches I coached against I'd probably be upset to.

 

I'm not saying coaches are infallible, The title of the thread referred to coaches versus parents. Parents should not decide if the coach is doing a good job, they see the game thru tinted glasses. The administration should be the ones to review their performance. Parents have a complaint, take it up with the administration.